How To Navigate Friendship 'Break-Ups' As An Adult The Positive Pants Podcast

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Navigating Friendship ‘Break-Ups’ as an adult
 
Friendship brak-ups are a natural part of life. 
 
But no one really talks about the intense pain that they can cause.
 
Friendships come and go. One minute you think someone is your ‘ride-or-die’ and then something shifts.
 
At the end of the day, life happens. Sometimes life happens and it creates a seismic shift in who we are.
 
It’s natural.
 
But it doesn’t mean it isn’t painful. Sometimes even more painful than romantic break-ups, so it deserves a little attention because I know a lot of people are navigating these sorts of things at the moment. 
 
I certainly have over the last year or so.
 
So, why do friendship break-ups happen?
 
Sometimes it might be a betrayal, a move away, a lifestyle change. Fundamentally it tends to come down to one thing.
 
Different core values.
 
Our core values shift and change throughout our lives as we go through experiences and learn lessons. 
 
It’s not to say it’s for worse or for better but they definitely shift so it’s always a good idea to keep coming back to your analysis of them and being really clear.
 
The more clear you are on your core values, the easier you’ll find many situations to navigate because you’ll really understand why something feels off or awful. You’ll understand why you might value a brand new friendship more than someone who has been there your whole life. 
 
As we age and grow these things change and we also get less ok with tolerating someone pushing our boundary or value buttons. 
 
A lot of the time when we form friendships, particularly when we’re younger, it’s because people live near us and like doing the same things as us. 
 
It might be a shared sense of humour, interests, a number of things. 
 
When we get older it shifts to how we behave. What we value. Do we fundamentally behave in ways that we value, to ourselves and others?
 
When you want to change something about your life, it might be eating healthier or getting fitter, or starting a business or becoming a parent for example, the best thing you can do is to get around people who want the same things as you. Or already have the things you want. People who fundamentally share and understand where you’re at. 
 
But how do you know if it’s time to let go?
 
The biggest way is to be really mindful and conscious of how you feel around this friend. 
 
Do they add or subtract positive things in your life?
 
Do you feel judged or unimportant?
 
Name what you feel.
 
I think as you g