Motherhood Exposed Podcast Zoe Cresswell

Since having their children by surrogacy, Mike and his partner have been advocating for equality in surrogacy as well as modernising guidelines and laws. They have also tirelessly supported many others through their surrogacy journeys. In this episode, Zoe speaks to Mike about his own experience to becoming a parent with his partner Wes, the challenges they had, the many positives and why they are so passionate about changing many of the conversations around surrogacy.

KEY TAKEAWAYS


Children were always on the cards for Mike and Wes. Mike had previously been married to a woman and one of the reasons was because of how much he wanted children. He was desperate to have his own family.
Wes had a daughter from a previous relationship which made the start of their relationship difficult, Mike had to grow a lot and recognise he was the adult in the situation. She is now 17 and an incredible person who Mike and Wes are very proud of: she also makes the best big sister!
Once Mike and Wes had decided to have a child together, they spent almost 3 years researching the options and the best way to do so. They decided on UK surrogacy, which they had to do independently as no UK agencies were taking on new intended parents.
When they found their surrogate, Mike and Wes thought they didn’t want to stay in contact or be involved with the surrogate afterwards. But after going through the journey and feeling how much this surrogate was doing for them – they couldn’t just ‘dispose’ of the friendship. She made them parents, Mike felt ashamed that at the beginning he didn’t truly appreciate what she was doing for them.
It was important for Mike and Wes to be present and supportive at all the appointments with the surrogate. They had a few awkward situations where they were told only the Dad was allowed in or were triggered by healthcare professionals asking for the ‘real dad’.
Their experience made them want to change laws and guidelines around surrogacy as well as make surrogacy more normalised. We need to educate people around surrogacy and usualise it.
Policy was very outdated in the NHS, they wouldn’t allow both Wes and Mike be present at the birth. By challenging this they ended up changing policy around surrogacy in the NHS. By telling their story, both intended parents in surrogacy can now be present at the birth.
Mike and Wes have supported over 300 men through surrogacy and they have now launched their own non-profit organisation, my surrogacy journey. It focuses on support, counselling and providing a real managed solution to surrogacy for all.
It’s be a really exciting and hectic journey for both Wes and Mike. Mike jokes that it is a good job they really like each other as they live, work, lobby and parent together!

BEST MOMENTS

“I just longed to be a parent”

“Children are really important in my world”“I have nothing but admiration and love for her and her husband”

“We need to educate people better about surrogacy…we need to talk about surrogacy more and usualise it”

“It was the best thing I have ever witnessed”

VALUABLE RESOURCESwww.petalscharity.org

www.tommys.org

www.arc-uk.org

www.sands.org.uk

ABOUT THE GUEST

Michael Johnson-Ellis@twodads.u.k

@officialmysurrogacyjourney

@themodernfamilyshow

https://www.mysurrogacyjourney.com

https://themodernfamilyshow.co.uk

ABOUT THE HOST

Zoe Cresswell

Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness.

Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital.

Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage.

With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire fami

An honest and insightful episode where Zoe speaks to Sarah of the Instagram account @sarah_and_marnie. Sarah talks to Zoe about finding out her baby had downs syndrome during pregnancy and life now with her beautiful 3-year-old Marnie, who teaches her something new every day.

 

KEY TAKEAWAYS


Sarah met her husband Colin at a NYE party. They started trying for a baby quite early on as they were both in their early forties. Sarah had children from previous relationships but Colin didn’t have any children yet and Sarah surprised herself by being very open to the idea.
Sarah fell pregnant after 12 months but sadly she miscarried at 11 weeks. She found this really difficult, loss wasn’t something she had experienced before.
A few months after she fell pregnant again. They had a reassurance scan at 9 weeks and began to get excited. They then had a 12 week scan where they first found out that there may be a chromosomal abnormality.
After having blood tests to give the chances of the baby having Edwards, Downs or Patau Syndrome Sarah made the decision to have an amniocentesis test to find out for certain. Several days after they received the news that their baby had downs syndrome. It was a relief to Sarah as this was the news she was hoping for, both Edwards and Patau syndrome are described as ‘not compatible with life’ and would have been a devastating diagnosis.
Sarah received little support emotionally from professionals throughout the pregnancy. There wasn’t any counselling or much literature around becoming parents to a baby with Downs Syndrome. She did receive extra scans as there is a higher chance of heart problems, but other than that she didn’t receive any additional help in her pregnancy.
Thankfully, when she told her friends and family about the baby having downs syndrome the response was positive and they received tons of support.
Although Marnie is only 3 and a half she has already experienced a lot, including modelling! Marnie is a very happy, easy going and bright little girl.
A lot of the struggles for new mums of babies with downs syndrome is fear of the unknown. Sarah helps run a FB group about the positives of life with a downs syndrome baby and child: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dsukpositiveaboutdownsyndromegreatexpectations

 

BEST MOMENTS

 

“It was a black cloud hanging over us waiting for that call”

“For me, downs syndrome was something we could do together as a family”

“When you experience loss and then you have your baby in your arms it’s like no other feeling”“Don’t be afraid”

 

 

VALUABLE RESOURCESwww.petalscharity.org

www.tommys.org

www.arc-uk.org

www.sands.org.uk

 

ABOUT THE GUESTSarah Louise@sarah_and_marnie

https://www.facebook.com/groups/dsukpositiveaboutdownsyndromegreatexpectations

 

ABOUT THE HOST

Zoe Cresswell

Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness.

Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital.

Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage.

With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth.

Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations.

Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.

 

CONTACT DETAILS

Instagram : @zoecresswell_me

Facebook: Zoe Cresswell

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

In this episode, Zoe speaks with Nina Willer, a diabetes specialist midwife and a type 1 diabetic herself. Nina opens up about her own journey to conceive, including her struggles with infertility and delves deep into the implications of diabetes in pregnancy and motherhood.

 

KEY TAKEAWAYS


Nina met her husband at work in a surf shop before she became a midwife and now it has gone full circle and they work together again!
Nina developed her diabetes when she was 21, having looked at a lot of research she believes that the cause was an already existing pre-disposition to diabetes and then a parasite that made her ill after travelling in Ghana, was the trigger.
When Nina and her husband decided they wanted to start trying for a baby, Nina had to make a pre-conception plan due to her type 1 diabetes.
They then began starting to conceive but after not falling pregnant they went for fertility testing and started on 6 months of Clomid.
Nina and her husband had their first cycle of IVF, they were very open about this and told everyone as they wanted to have people behind them to support them in their fertility journey. But sadly, by day 5 the fertilised eggs hadn’t developed as they should but were still advised to have them implanted which did not result in a pregnancy.
They learnt a lot from the first cycle and went ahead and had a second fresh cycle, on day 3 the fertilised eggs were still developing, they froze one egg and inserted two, but the two inserted did not result in a pregnancy again.
On the third fresh IVF cycle, the eggs stopped developing on day three again. It was a really hard time for Nina and her husband, it was their third and final cycle. They decided to still have these eggs impanted but were told they would not result in a pregnancy.
Nina and her husband knew they needed to take a break from IVF, so they went away and started to focus on other things. But, miraculously they became pregnant from their third an final cycle. They still expected this pregnancy to end in miscarriage but incredibly it didn’t and this pregnancy is no Nina’s five year old!
The pregnancy wasn’t straight forward due to Nina’s type 1 diabetes but she was looked after incredible well and she had her healthy baby at 36 weeks via planned C-section.
In 2019, Nina and her husband wanted to try again for another baby so decided to try a frozen cycle of IVF. It was an experience Nina found very difficult, she calls it the worst IVF experience she had and sadly it didn’t work.
Several months later, they had stopped trying to get pregnant so were very surprised to find that after trying for 10 years they were pregnant! They had their miracle baby , delivered by one of their closest friends, 9 months later!

 

BEST MOMENTS

“For a while I was a little bit angry at the diabetes stuff”

“We did six months of Clomid and that’s a really hopeful time for a lot of people as you suddenly think, I’m making eggs and I’m making loads of them!”

“We’re so lucky, the NHS has treated us very, very well”

“One of the many things I find fascinating about type 1 Diabetes is that the glucose levels can tell us a lot about what’s going on”

“It felt like I was having a miscarriage in a way, I had known that embryo for 5 years, that was my other child”

  

VALUABLE RESOURCESwww.petalscharity.org

www.tommys.org

www.arc-uk.org

www.sands.org.uk

 

ABOUT THE GUESTNina Willer

@willerz_house

 

ABOUT THE HOST

Zoe Cresswell

Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness.

Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital.

Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage.

With her husband James, the c

In this honest and raw episode, Zoe speaks to Julie Audette, a business owner and mother. Julie opens up about her experience with Twin-Twin Transfusion syndrome which her beautiful boys Elias And Zach were born with. Listen in to hear a story of sadness, faith and incredible strength.

 

KEY TAKEAWAYS


Julie got married to her husband in 2013 and Julie became pregnant in 2014. At her first scan she got a ‘double congratulations’ from the Dr and found out she was pregnant with two boys.
The beginning of the pregnancy was normal and Julie was carrying on with life normally. Julie was given extra monitoring because it was a twin pregnancy with a shared placenta but she didn’t feel any different.
At week 21 Julie found she started to feel differently, she was in a lot of pain and was suffering with severe swelling. Julie went to see her obstetrician, had a scan and was referred to a specialist that day. They discovered that her twin boys had twin-twin transfusion syndrome and they would need an operation.
Julie had already decided that she was going to give birth in Canada where she is from, so she reached out to the specialists after the diagnosis to see who could do the procedure needed for her twin boys. She was advised to fly to Canada as soon as possible.
On the flight, Julie started deteriorating and was rushed straight to hospital on arrival to be stabilised. After a procedure to reduce her amniotic fluid she was able to leave the hospital but unfortunately had to go back in after deteriorating again. It was only week 23 but the decision was made to have an emergency C-section to deliver the twins, for their safety as well as Julie’s life.
The boys were delivered by C-section but they went straight to NICU, 20 minutes later Julie was sadly informed that Elias had died and Zach was fighting hard for his life.
Julie and her husband’s faith helped them deal with this devastating life event. It helped give them the strength to support Zach, who had to have a 5 month stay in hospital due to being born so premature and a heart condition. At 5 months, they had to make the difficult system to remove him from respiratory support and he sadly died a short time after.
Julie and her husband have been supported a lot by their friends and family, it’s this as well as their faith, therapy and their attitude towards life that has helped them ‘come out the other side’. 
Since this incredibly difficult and tragic time, they have had another child, their daughter, who they are so thankful for.

BEST MOMENTS

“It was just a beautiful announcement and we were double happy”

“You see other people fighting…you have to accept and say this is your journey, this is life and this is what god intended for us”

“We’re a family full on sunshine” 

“We would not be able to heal without our family and friends”

 

VALUABLE RESOURCES

https://www.rmhc.org

Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS) Parents - Peer support for families who have gone through, are going through or seeking more information about Twin to Twin Transfusion: https://www.facebook.com/Twin-to-Twin-Transfusion-Syndrome-TTTS-Parents-Arabia-1699149873687130

 

ABOUT THE GUESTJulie Audette

@julie.audettejulie@coethical.com@coethical@themovement.aehttps://www.rmhc.org

Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS) Parents - Peer support for families who have gone through, are going through or seeking more information about Twin to Twin Transfusion: https://www.facebook.com/Twin-to-Twin-Transfusion-Syndrome-TTTS-Parents-Arabia-1699149873687130

 

ABOUT THE HOST

Zoe Cresswell

Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness.

Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital.

Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathl

In this episode, Zoe speaks to Tia about her journey with Lee to creating a family. They talk about the many failed IVF attempts, her experience of care, using an egg donor and the impact this has had on Tia’s emotional and physical health.

 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

 


Tia met her husband Lee online on a dating app. They would spend hours on the phone talking at the beginning, they then had their nervous first date and the rest is history.
After 18 months of trying to become pregnant, Tia and Lee went to the Dr and they found that Tia’s bloods showed she had a very low chance of conceiving a child naturally. She later found out she had premature Ovarian Insufficiency.
They had their first round of IVF in December 2019 but this was unsuccessful and Tia really struggled both mentally and physically dealing with the aftermath of this. They had more rounds of IVF and Tia began to suffer suicidal thoughts; but the hope she had for a positive outcome pushed her through.
After 3 ½ years of trying Tia and Lee looked into egg donation and it was this process that has now allowed them to be pregnant with twins.
Tia and Lee will raise their twins knowing how they were conceived. They hope that by doing this it will make it less traumatic for them. They are even going to make a book that tells them the journey their parents took to have them including information about their donor.
After receiving less than the best care in the UK, Tia and Lee decided to look into egg donation and clinics abroad. They used the company Your IVF Abroad who matched them to the right country and then to the right clinic for them and their needs.
A PTSD diagnosis is just one of the mental impacts that Tia is now suffering with. She is getting good help and support but still struggles, especially when people at appointments make comments without knowing her journey and what she has had to endure to get to this point.

BEST MOMENTS

“The thoughts of Lee’s sperm with another ladies’ eggs made me feel jealous”

“Sometimes you’ve got to put yourself in a vulnerable situation to be able to learn and develop”

“I just want the worries of a normal mum”

“I always get the same questions over and over again… so I have to tell the story and am traumatising myself again and again”

 

VALUABLE RESOURCES

https://www.yourivfabroad.co.ukwww.petalscharity.org

www.tommys.org

www.arc-uk.org

www.sands.org.uk

 

ABOUT THE GUESTTia Brown

@the.browns.journey.to.four

https://www.yourivfabroad.co.uk

IVF Treatment abroad in Europe organised by successful patients in UK

We offer practical and emotional support to facilitate your low cost fertility treatment abroad, in Europe at renowned IVF clinics with high success rates and no waiting lists. Contact us now, we are here for you, every step of the way.

www.yourivfabroad.co.uk

ABOUT THE HOST

Zoe Cresswell

Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness.

Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital.

Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage.

With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth.

Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations.

Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.

 

CONTACT DETAILS

Instagram : @zoecresswell_me

Facebook: Zoe Cresswell

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

In this honest and brave episode Zoe speaks with Hannah Sinnott. Hannah talks about her beautiful daughter Cora, who tragically died of birth complications at just 24 hours old. They discuss Hannah’s journey to motherhood, her tragic birth story and the difficulty of being pregnant again after such a devastating loss.

 

KEY TAKEAWAYS


Hannah married her husband Joe in 2015 after meeting at university. They went on honeymoon to Thailand and made the decision not to come back and travelled for 18 months.
Hannah and Joe have always been family orientated and Hannah has always loved children and babies, she knew she wanted to be a mum from an early age. When they decided it was time to start their family, Hannah fell pregnant quite quickly.
Hannah had a straightforward pregnancy, it was low risk and there were no issues. She did a hypnobirthing course and planned a homebirth. She was nervous about birth like most first-time mothers but mostly remembers being excited.
Hannah began labouring at home when she was 10 days overdue, when the midwife came she was already 6 cms dilated. She went to labour in the birthing pool and was at the pushing stages for a couple of hours but not much was happening. They knew something wasn’t right, eventually she was examined and it turns out she wasn’t fully dilated which meant her cervix was very swollen. She they went to hospital via ambulance. Once in hospital the babies heart kept started to dipping, she was put on oxytocin to help with the labour and babies heart dipped dangerously again – this is when the emergency buzzer was pressed and Hannah went into emergency surgery.
Hannah woke up after her general anaesthetic and remembers just being so aware of the quiet. Joe came and before he even spoke she knew it was bad news; Cora was very poorly. A short time later they were told that their daughter was going to die.
There were tests and investigations done at the time but no answers were found to why Cora died at that moment, all they knew is that she had been starved of oxygen.
It was an incredibly devastating and tragic time for Hannah and Joe but they are thankful that they got to spend some time with Cora before she died. They were also allowed to spend some time with Cora after she passed and take photos and create memories, at the time Hannah didn’t realise how healing this would be.
The support Hannah and Joe received from their families after the death of Cora was immeasurable. They helped them survive.
After Cora’s death, more investigations were done. They flagged a few issues, mainly with the placenta but also with care. The heart monitoring wasn’t done correctly. Either of these things and Cora may have still been saved, but combined it was a tragedy.
Hannah and Joe made the decision to move back to Hannah’s hometown, it was hard for Hannah to leave the nursey especially but they felt this was the right decision for them and their family.
Hannah and Joe are pregnant again, but understandably this is incredibly triggering and difficult for them. It’s impossible for them to excited.
One thing Hannah and Joe has found is people do not know how to support parents of baby loss, especially when time has passed and they are pregnant again. Hannah believes humans are ‘fixers’ and loss is not something you can fix so people do not know what to do for the best.



 

BEST MOMENTS

“Joe was adamant we were having a girl…he said he had a dream early on” “I sometimes question if that was my body in distress”

 “It must sound really morbid to people who haven’t experienced it, but it was just really special”

 “I was in shock for a while, it just didn’t feel real”

“You always need your mum” 

“Until he is here safely I won’t believe he will be”

  

VALUABLE RESOURCES

www.petalscharity.org

www.tommys.org

www.arc-uk.org

www.sands.org.uk

 

ABOUT THE GUESTHannah Sinnott

www.petalscharity.orgwww.tommys.orgwww.arc-uk.orgwww.s