U Up‪?‬ U Up?

J&J are taking on complicated relationships and realizations in this week’s episode, but first, they catch up on Jordana’s latest trip, get excited for their voyage en France, and Jared vents about the unknown era he’s navigating. The first email comes from a listener looking to collect $1,000 her ex owes her. He’s gone radio silent and it’s been a year, but J&J think she’s making a mistake with her ask. Then, our final “Friends to Lovers” submission takes a turn when a listener found her lover’s Grindr messages. TRIGGER WARNING for our next email, we talk about animal abuse. J&J receive an email about an impending breakup, a heartbroken woman, and her dog at the center. She thought he was “the one,” but her dog’s reactions as their relationship progressed caused major issues, and Jared thinks her concern and focus are in the wrong place. The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker?” about dating your ex’s twin, tattoos of faces, and a questionable bachelor party game.

After taking a trip down Jared’s memory lane, Benefits subscribers wanted in on how Jordana's career came to be. Jared quizzes her on the building blocks of Betches, the hardest part about working with Sami and Aleen, and what changes have happened since going from the boss to having a boss. Plus, she shares some of the side gigs she took to initially keep herself afloat and Jared remembers the early days of recording U Up? at the first Betches office. Then, they settle the ticket talk about Dr. Naomi and Jared’s Dallas show referenced in last week’s episode of Oversharing (I'm Jealous Of My Husband's Work Wife).

J&J are joined by Olivia O’Brien ahead of the release for her upcoming EP, “Love and Limerence,” but before they get started, Jordana and Olivia fill Jared in on what limerence means. Then, Olivia shares the struggles with being vulnerable in her songwriting and dating other public figures, and Jared can relate for why he’s cautious with the real experiences he puts into his work. Plus Olivia shocks J&J with the aftermath of her song with gnash, “i hate u, i love u,” blowing up on the charts in 2016, they talk double standards of women being vulnerable, the difference in LA and NYC social scenes, and why Gen Z might be more open to casual relationships. The episode ends with answering a listener’s email about being on the hook and not knowing whether she should just walk away before she gets hurt. She’s been happily seeing someone for two months, but he’s now up for a job that would take him overseas indefinitely. They have yet to DTR, but she’s certain she doesn’t want to juggle a long-distance situation. Jared, Jordana and Olivia weigh in.
For more from our guest, listen to “Love and Limerence” by Olivia O’Brien (@oliviaobrien) on June 21.
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The pod is buzzing this week, and we’re starting with Jordana’s NBA experience seeing the Knicks play (and lose) Game 7 against the Pacers reminding her of a relationship falling apart and Jared’s fired-up morning after a workout. After catching up, they jump into an email from a listener reeling over getting stood up. She had an online relationship with a man in another state for 8 years, but when the stars aligned and she found herself in his area, he blocked her. Is she wrong for wishing he would’ve communicated he didn’t want to meet anymore, or does he not owe her anything because they’d never physically met? Next, we get another “Friends To Lovers” submission from a Canadian man about a woman he met in a workout class. Afterward, a military man asks how to navigate dating when his career’s constant moves have been the subject of several breakups. The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker” about white lies, jorts on a plane, and a special update from a fan-favorite milk debate from our 2020 episodes.
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This week’s Sunday Special delves into boundaries, appropriateness, and perception, but first, J&J are catching up with Emma Willmann (@emmawillmann). The conversation from Emma’s last time on the pod gets a quick update with where it continued with a sex therapist on Emma’s podcast, Ask Men Anything. Then, Jared needs the insight of women he knows for his latest TikTok finds. Next, a male listener thinks his personality is to blame for his lack of dating life. He’s friendly and chatty, but the consensus of his friend group is that these characteristics could be “gay-coded,” so is the solution to become closed off? The episode ends with a “Petty or Prudent?” about a breakup reaction after our listener comes out to her boyfriend as queer, but it’s not the reaction to her sexuality that she’s concerned about. Jared, Jordana and Emma add some extra layers of perspective she may be looking past.
Listen to our last episode with Emma, "Was This A Red Flag Or Is My Internalized Homophobia Showing?" from February 21.
Listen to Emma's follow-up conversation on Ask Men Anything, "Asking Dr. Justin Lehmiller Anything" from February 27.
https://youtu.be/AMPqjOcuAg8
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This week, J&J are finding the balance in a few debates, from ideal thermostat temps to awkward callouts. The first email asks if there’s a limit to how much an ex is brought up during a date. Jared and Jordana don’t initially agree and weigh both sides of the conversation. Next, in a segment sponsored by Netflix, they get a “Friends-To-Lovers” story submission that's out to motivate other listeners to make a move. The second advice email is looking for the line between going for what you want and seeing what the person you’re dating is willing to do. There could be truth to “If he wanted to, he would,” but doesn’t that go both ways? The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker” about being overly communicative, being put in an awkward situation pre-date, and disagreeing about the best sex you’ve ever had.
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