This House Was Never Meant To Be A Podcast This House Was Never Meant To Be A Podcast

 Local Impressionist Spiffy Remo runs a comedy(?) routine impersonating celebrities so well, it gets the attention of less-than-savory government figures who need him for a once-in-a-lifetime arrangement. The Mission? Communicate with a captive alien and get it to reveal the secrets to nuclear fusion, but time is ticking away as the atmosphere is slowly killing the otherworldly visitor. Will the mystery of limitless power die with the alien, or will Spiffy Remo pull off his most challenging impression yet?
Join Velina and Zach for what can only be described as the Tales from the Darkside episode of all time.
So take a seat behind the one-way mirror, this one is certainly A way to kick off Season 2 of the show...

Host = Zach Zachariary
Host = Velina Velenghiskhan
Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio
Ending clip: Independence Day (1996)
Contact us: ThisHousePodcast@gmail.com

Cassie is a superstitious woman who never makes a decision without consulting a fortune-telling machine. While she is on a quest for her sagittarius, she stops at a bus stop diner and discovers another fortune telling machine, Horace X. However, Horace X warns her that she should not continue her path and warns her of a false prophet. What is she to do? Will she listen to the cult leader who gets way too handsy? Or will she listen to the fortune-telling machine who also gets way too handsy?

Velina and Zach will be your guides to this exciting and uncomfortable season finale of Tales from the Darkside. Join us as we delve into what makes this old, dusty bus stop feel like the future site of a crime scene and how this episode is way better than you might initially think. So grab your lucky rabbit’s foot and consult your local soothsayer, because this one gets wild in all sorts of
unfortunate ways.

Host = Zachariah Zachariah
Host = Velina Velenghiskhan
Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio
Ending clip: House of Whacks, Treehouse of Horror XII, The Simpsons
Contact us: ThisHousePodcast@gmail.com

Grandma is old. So when she causes an accident at the dinner table with her obnoxious family, the first thing the family thinks to do is ship her off to a retirement home. Before she goes, however, the family wants to make the next week good for her so they decide to throw her a party at which she makes a wish. Will she end up being carted away to the old folks home or will her wish play into her fate?Join Velina and Zach as they try to survive this episode’s constant barrage of yelling and weird familial relationships, all topped off with an oddly cruel twist like contact solution with a lemon squeeze. So grab some prune juice and a ricola, because this one gets loud constantly and we are both suffering immensely. Somebody help us.

Host = Zach Zachariary
Host = Velina Velenghiskhan
Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio
Ending clip: 20,000 Patties Under The Sea-Spongebob Squarepants
Contact us: ThisHousePodcast@gmail.com

Bigelow wakes on any normal day and goes through his normal routine: Drink some coffee and light up a cigarette. Except, he discovers that he is living in a recreation of his house and the windows and doors are all barred shut. Then a man appears on the television screen and tells Bigalow that he signed up for an addiction curing program and this is all a part of it. The man on the screen tells him that he must give up smoking or face the consequences. Bigelow then learns the hard way what kind of punishments the program has in store for him. The real question is which will break first: the cigarette addiction or Bigelow?Join Velina and Zach on this journey of self-help as they watch a man be broken piece by piece all in the name of stopping his addiction to smoking. So grab some coffee and a nicotine patch, this one is a bumpy ride on the straight-and-narrow.

Host = Zach Zachariary
Host = Velina Velenghiskhan
Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio
Ending clip: Keeping Up With Our Joneses-King of the Hill
Contact us: ThisHousePodcast@gmail.com

Cruel businessman Carl is referred to a dry cleaner that can wash away sins. The dry cleaner Chow Ting gives him a list of strict rules that he cannot break if he wants his service. When Carl agrees, he starts to ramp up his cutthroat tactics for his corporation and his dirty laundry. However, Chow Ting is starting to ghost him and stops picking up his laundry. Will Carl be able to get his guilt washed away or Is there something more valuable than money that Chow Ting wants?Join Velina and Zach in their high rise corporate headquarters as they discuss the mediocrity of the episode and the absolute perfection that is James Hong. So grab your laundry basket and a budgie, because this episode is quite a fun one. Exclusively because of James Hong.

Host = Zach Zachariary
Host = Velina Velenghiskhan
Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio
Ending clip: It All Comes Out In The Wash-Miranda Lambert
Contact us: ThisHousePodcast@gmail.com

When Frank and his friend Ernie arrive at the dumpy carnival they took a 75 mile road trip to get to, he finally gets to see the great Karma, a magician he admired for his wireless levitation trick. However, when he sees that the magician doesn’t end up doing his famous trick, Frank throws a fit to get what he wants. Will he get the magician to perform his once-famous trick or will this situation get slightly out of hand? Join Velina and Zach for the first of the final 5 episodes of the season under a cheapo big top as they watch a has-been magician perform while a man-child fan tries to ruin it until he gets what he wants. So grab some funnel cake and front-row seating, this is a trick you won’t want to miss!

Host = Zach Zachariary
Host = Velina Velenghiskhan
Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio
Ending clip: Levitation-Amorphis
Contact us: ThisHousePodcast@gmail.com