Blank You Tom & Kristen

We've reached a point in our show where we need to use a gimmick as hackneyed as the sitcom we named this episode after. We noticed that our best conversations happen as we wake up on weekends, just before our baby wakes. So the night before, we set up the recording equipment so that all we had to do is roll over, press record, and start talking. If you saw a video camera in someone's bedroom you'd assume they're kinky, right? So what do you think when there are two large microphone stands, one on either side of the bed? Also kinky, but the turn-on is how much we like talking to Friends.

Yea, the title is a pun! Or is it just wordplay? Our children won't know because at some point, we will decide to ban the dictionary because it says "dic" on the cover. 
Content Warning: we use the phrases "expose yourself" and "pornographic" in this episode.
Before this pornographic episode gets banned, let's expose ourselves to the history of banning (sometimes euphemistically called challenging!) books and why this practice itself should also be "challenged".

We officially have a child! That's right, Kristen gave birth despite her feelings about how it happened. She grew a body with her body and now there's another person in our home. It just goes to show, if you have trouble making friends, you can literally make one. Some people hope for happy and healthy babies - we just hope our baby is cool like us. 
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This is it! This is what we've all been working so hard to achieve! A Stanley Kubrick reference!

Wait, no, that's not it. Oh yes - Season 1 is here! Now that we have a subreddit (r/blankyou), merch is in the works, the audio's been clean and sharp, and audio clips of Kristen as a baby, we figured it's time to stop the testing phase and start the show.

We begin with this fiery rebuke of some ignorant boomer b******t shared the only way they know how: a 30pt font email forward. Marvel at the pity party and hypocrisy of it all, sometimes contained with in the same sentence! Remember: the only thing that trickled down from Reagan was white entitlement and possibly a little bit of peepee toward the end.

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This is our ninth overall episode and it still feels like no one knows about us. Come on. Nine solid-gold, no-holds-barred, comedy extravaganzas. That is our fault, and we aim to remedy that here by revealing our genetic testing results! Spoiler: we're human.



Extrapolating from that data, our child will also be human. But what kind? Another spoiler: white, short, stubby, big-nosed, callipygian and fucking hilarious.

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The audio on this one is rough, but nowhere near as rough as the topic. Recorded nearly a year ago, it was a difficult decision whether to upload this one at all. Once the gloves came off - when Tom was openly and publicly shamed/name-called - it made the decision easy. It's time for my side to be heard.



Don't miss this one. It's a doozy. Any feedback can be sent to info@blankyou.show.

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