Round the World With Cracklin Jane Cracklin Jane From Eastport, Maine

We pay a visit to the National Census Bureau: Instead of giving all their workers a pink slip at the end of the census, upper management has decided to hang on to everyone and try to find other things for them to count. Thus, at the next census of actual humans, they will be seasoned veterans of Countology.

We get to the bottom of why newlyweds Mr and Mrs Tom Ambrose, having taken possession of a brand-spanking new dream cottage, are troubled by weird mumbling voices, things being knocked over, frightening wispy entities floating up and down the stairs. Can their place already be haunted?

We report on the new sentencing guidelines of the Round the World Department of Corrections: Instead of throwing lowlifes and scofflaws in the slammer, judges may now sentence them to banishment - to an island of their choosing - thus ameliorating prison overcrowding and bad influences.

Bored with his job as a night watchman for the Museum of Daddyhood. Ray sneaks in his pal Red, and the two of them take in the interactive dioramas depicting dads of all dimensions: neglectful and absentee dads, lazy dads, troubled dads, but finally reach the Phenomenal Foyer of the Fabulous Fathers, tender and heart-warming dads.

Miss Krakauer spoils everyone’s spring vacation with a homework assignment: Go out and interview people stuck in an undesirable living situation that they can’t get out of. Some of the students head over to the local jail, some to the Old Folks’ Home, but Ray decides to go to Hades and interview the tormented souls there. Does he come back in one piece?

The Oceantown Arts Council has two weeks to write and stage a new operatic work: Figaro. They plan to employ every last person in town as singers, crowd scene extras, set designers and builders, musicians, ushers and ticket-takers. Can they pull it off? Who will be in the audience if everyone is in the show?