All Serious Subjects John (@MyHipsAlwaysLie) and Adam (@BodyByToasterStrudel)

There's nothing like a Saturday morning. Your grandma is out at an extra church sermon because, in her words, "You can never get too much Jesus or d*ck". She is one horny old broad. Ever since gramps died, she's been on a tear tossing p*ssy around the bingo hall. She didn't wait long either to get back on the market. I think maybe now she was hoping he would die so she can have one last sl*t phase, but I'm not here to judge. I'm here to listen to a podcast, specifically, the All Serious Subjects (ASS) podcast. Adam and John are here to distract you from how much of a wh*re your grandma is.

You've been abducted. You don't know where you are or who your captors are. You don't know what they want or what they plan on doing with you. All you know is that your hands and legs are bound to a chair. There are several voices that you can hear around you and the sounds of a discussion. They're trying to figure out what podcast to listen to. Your mouth is only loosely bound so you wiggle the cloth so you can speak. "You should try out the All Serious Subjects (ASS) podcast, the hosts Adam and John have great chemistry and may have a blossoming gay relationship with each other." They stop everything, silence fills the room. You feel as if you sealed your fate by potentially offending them by suggesting a mildly gay podcast. One captor breaks the silence, "I love that podcast! They have the best banter about show and movie ideas. And you're totally right, they both do seem at least kind of gay." They put on the podcast and the tension is broken. Soon they forget the plot to sell you to another trafficker, everyone is too busy belly laughing to the podcast.

Isn't it the best for when you do the thing you always wanted? Best to do what is best, rather than what's worse, and what's worst, of course. You love the smell, the sound and the taste. Don't let time go to waste, press play, on the All Serious Subjects (ASS) podcast.

Nothing like a Saturday morning with the boys. Cuddling up on the coach, sandwiched between 2 of your boys. Cause Boys are there when you need someone to lean on. Get an old "Cool Whip" container, fill it to the brim with fruity pebbles and milk, sit between those boys, and put on the All Serious subjects (ASS) podcast. It's time for you and the boys to bond with Adam and John. Also "boys" can mean ladies too, it's all a mindset and a way of being. Don't look at things so analytically, it all makes sense if you don't think about it too much.

The day is young, the blood is flowing, the sun is shining. You feel a rush of euphoria as you breathe in and gay thoughts rush over you. You turn on your favorite podcast, the All Serious Subjects (ASS) podcast, and listen to Adam and John talk about cops if the people were all handicapped. The day is good. You hear love making in the bushes and give a thumbs up to show your approval and think to yourself, "I'm making the boys proud". And you are, we are proud of you...but you need to stop being such a sh*t sometimes. Seriously, you can be a bummer to be around. So listen to the podcast and cheer up,

Skiing can lead to death and also to the founding of a college that employs the homeless. The world is unpredictable and so is the All Serious Subject (ASS) podcast. Adam and John are the hosts that you need when you get to your biggest struggles. This is a motivational podcast unlike any other because one of the hosts is an elderly latina that don't play no games.