1 Std. 1 Min.
Biden Forgives the Art Institute & Marijuana Laws! Trump Farts A Lot & Drake Rap Beef Updates #139 What Are We Doing
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- Impro-Comedy
First up, let's talk about the Art Institutes. This for-profit college chain had been happily chugging along, allegedly misleading students and raking in those sweet, sweet tuition dollars. But, as it turns out, the Art Institutes were about as legit as a three-dollar bill. The Education Department discovered that the school had been pulling some serious shenanigans, like claiming 80% of their graduates were employed in their field within six months. In reality, that number never even hit 60%. Talk about a creative interpretation of the truth!
But wait, there's more! The Art Institutes also had a knack for inflating their graduates' earnings. In a move that can only be described as "bold," one campus even included tennis superstar Serena Williams' annual income in their calculations. Because, you know, every Art Institute grad is just one Grand Slam away from making it big.
Well, the jig is finally up, and the Biden administration is swooping in to save the day. They're forgiving a whopping $6.1 billion in student debt for 317,000 unfortunate souls who attended the Art Institutes between 2004 and 2017. The best part? It's automatic, baby! No need to fill out any pesky paperwork or jump through hoops. The government will just wave its magic wand and *poof* - your debt disappears faster than a plate of donuts at a police station.
Now, let's move on to the other big news: the potential reclassification of marijuana. That's right, the DEA might finally be ready to admit that maybe, just maybe, marijuana isn't quite as dangerous as they've been making it out to be for the past 50 years. The plan is to move marijuana from a Schedule I drug (you know, the ones with "no accepted medical use" like heroin and LSD) to a Schedule III drug (the ones with "low to moderate potential for abuse" like ketamine and codeine-laced Tylenol).
This change would be a pretty big deal. For starters, it would mark the first time the U.S. government has acknowledged that marijuana might actually have some medical benefits. Shocking, we know. It's not like people have been saying this for decades or anything. But hey, better late than never, right?
If the reclassification goes through, it could open up a whole new world of possibilities. Researchers could finally study marijuana's potential medical uses without having to jump through a million bureaucratic hoops. Pharmaceutical companies could get in on the action and start selling marijuana products in states where it's legal. And, perhaps most importantly, marijuana businesses would no longer be subject to that pesky federal tax law that treats them like common drug dealers.
Of course, not everyone is thrilled about the idea of having to register with the DEA. Some cannabis dispensary owners are understandably wary of inviting the feds into their world. But hey, that's the price you pay for legitimacy, we suppose.
Now, before we all get too excited, let's remember that this is the government we're talking about. The proposal still needs to go through more red tape than a mummy at a bureaucracy convention. It has to get the White House's approval, go through a public comment period, and survive potential legal challenges and future political shenanigans. So, don't go throwing out your dealer's number just yet.
In the meantime, we'll be over here, munching on our government-subsidized Art Institute degree and waiting for the day when we can buy our medical marijuana from the same place we get our flu shots. What a time to be alive!
Well, that's all we've got for you today, folks. Tune in next week, when we'll be discussing the latest developments in the thrilling world of tax law. Just kidding, we wouldn't do that to you. Or would we? You'll have to tune in to find out!
---
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/what-are-we-doing-pod/message
Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/what-are-we-doin
First up, let's talk about the Art Institutes. This for-profit college chain had been happily chugging along, allegedly misleading students and raking in those sweet, sweet tuition dollars. But, as it turns out, the Art Institutes were about as legit as a three-dollar bill. The Education Department discovered that the school had been pulling some serious shenanigans, like claiming 80% of their graduates were employed in their field within six months. In reality, that number never even hit 60%. Talk about a creative interpretation of the truth!
But wait, there's more! The Art Institutes also had a knack for inflating their graduates' earnings. In a move that can only be described as "bold," one campus even included tennis superstar Serena Williams' annual income in their calculations. Because, you know, every Art Institute grad is just one Grand Slam away from making it big.
Well, the jig is finally up, and the Biden administration is swooping in to save the day. They're forgiving a whopping $6.1 billion in student debt for 317,000 unfortunate souls who attended the Art Institutes between 2004 and 2017. The best part? It's automatic, baby! No need to fill out any pesky paperwork or jump through hoops. The government will just wave its magic wand and *poof* - your debt disappears faster than a plate of donuts at a police station.
Now, let's move on to the other big news: the potential reclassification of marijuana. That's right, the DEA might finally be ready to admit that maybe, just maybe, marijuana isn't quite as dangerous as they've been making it out to be for the past 50 years. The plan is to move marijuana from a Schedule I drug (you know, the ones with "no accepted medical use" like heroin and LSD) to a Schedule III drug (the ones with "low to moderate potential for abuse" like ketamine and codeine-laced Tylenol).
This change would be a pretty big deal. For starters, it would mark the first time the U.S. government has acknowledged that marijuana might actually have some medical benefits. Shocking, we know. It's not like people have been saying this for decades or anything. But hey, better late than never, right?
If the reclassification goes through, it could open up a whole new world of possibilities. Researchers could finally study marijuana's potential medical uses without having to jump through a million bureaucratic hoops. Pharmaceutical companies could get in on the action and start selling marijuana products in states where it's legal. And, perhaps most importantly, marijuana businesses would no longer be subject to that pesky federal tax law that treats them like common drug dealers.
Of course, not everyone is thrilled about the idea of having to register with the DEA. Some cannabis dispensary owners are understandably wary of inviting the feds into their world. But hey, that's the price you pay for legitimacy, we suppose.
Now, before we all get too excited, let's remember that this is the government we're talking about. The proposal still needs to go through more red tape than a mummy at a bureaucracy convention. It has to get the White House's approval, go through a public comment period, and survive potential legal challenges and future political shenanigans. So, don't go throwing out your dealer's number just yet.
In the meantime, we'll be over here, munching on our government-subsidized Art Institute degree and waiting for the day when we can buy our medical marijuana from the same place we get our flu shots. What a time to be alive!
Well, that's all we've got for you today, folks. Tune in next week, when we'll be discussing the latest developments in the thrilling world of tax law. Just kidding, we wouldn't do that to you. Or would we? You'll have to tune in to find out!
---
Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/what-are-we-doing-pod/message
Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/what-are-we-doin
1 Std. 1 Min.