I Feel Snitty with Craig Rozniecki Craig Rozniecki

"Griftin'" (to the tune of Clarence Carter's "Strokin'")
When he’s not grabbing butts
And mute, judging stuff
He be griftin’
Morning, noon, insurrection
He be griftin’
 
He grifts from the living
And then he grifts from the dead
He’ll grift from anyone on this planet or the next
He be griftin’
 
He’s ‘bout to sell somethin’
How much money are you willing to give him?
Would you buy a quarter for a quarter-mill?
Would you give up your farm for a lifetime of Swiss cheese?
He’s ‘bout to sell you this
“Trade your cows for a gallon of milk”
He’s ‘bout to sell you this
“Give me 15 million and I’ll stop windmill cancer”
He ‘members when his mistress was diagnosed with windmill cancer
He started a GoFundMe; laughed; and said, “April Fool’s, y’all”
He’s griftin’, yeah, he always does, he be griftin’
 
He grifts from the living
And then he grifts from the dead
He’ll grift from anyone on this planet or the next
He be griftin’
 
He’s ‘bout to sell somethin’
Would you believe anything he tells ya?
That a knife was a sandwich?
Jesus was a white man?
A robe was a puppy?
Or how about that he and his wife are all cute and innocent?
‘Member, no puppy is full of that much sh*t
He spews it every which way
Yeah, he’s griftin’
He be griftin’
 
He grifts from the living
And then he grifts from the dead
He’ll grift from anyone on this planet or the next, sh*t
He be griftin’
 
Now, when this guy starts dealin’, I mean stealin’
He doesn’t care who in the hell he’s hurtin’
Because a creepy smile appears when this happens
Whenever that creepy smile appears, we do start dealin’
We say, “Clarence Thomas, Clarence Thomas, Clarence Thomas
Clarence Thomas, f*ck you, Clarence Thomas”
Other day: “Celebratin’ Christmas early!”
“Gonna get me a grift box and grift certificate”
Went to the store to screw people over
He held a box with a blank certificate
Said, “Hundredth donor gets the prize; you’ll be surprised as…” Woo!
 
He be griftin’… Cloak and dagger
He be griftin’
 
He grifts from the living
And then he grifts from the dead
He’ll grift from anyone on this planet or the next, sh*t
He be griftin’
He be griftin’… Cloak and dagger
He be griftin’, oath
He be griftin’
 
And he grifts from the rich
And he grifts from the poor
He grifts from everyone
He even grifts from his whores, ooh
 
He be griftin’
He be griftin’
He be griftin’
 
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
 
Twitter
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
 
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
 
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
 
YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOPLDCBGkbzDh0PMUneNQ3A

In this episode I snarkily dissect my joyous experience interacting with Trumpers since joining Twitter Blue in recent weeks.
 
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
 
Twitter
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
 
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
 
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
 
YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOPLDCBGkbzDh0PMUneNQ3A

So you didn't have to, I read the 44-page Trump indictment. Here is my modest, hilarious, brilliant take on it all. Hey, as I've always said, "You can't spell 'awesome' nor 'modest' without 'ME.'"
 
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
 
Twitter
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
 
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
 
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
 
YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOPLDCBGkbzDh0PMUneNQ3A

“Right the Right”
Been off course for a while
Siri’s a woman
So, they go in the opposite direction
They don’t know where they are
Or where they’re heading
But would rather wreck than admit they were wrong
 
Let’s control the wheel and right the right
They need our help; they’re too drunk to drive
Let’s control the wheel and right the right
They should prob’ly sleep it off tonight
 
Approaching a red sign
Instead of stopping
They shout “OCTAGON!”
Sirens flashing
Figure they’re for someone else, so they speed up
Start firing guns, yelling “BLUE LIVES MATTER!”
 
Let’s control the wheel and right the right
They need our help; they’re too drunk to drive
Let’s control the wheel and right the right
They should prob’ly sleep it off tonight
 
They’ve been off course too long
Tank’s about empty
Yet still believing thoughts and prayers will refill it
So, they then close their eyes while behind the wheel
‘Cause apparently cars don’t drive cars; Jesus does
 
Let’s control the wheel and right the right
They need our help; they’re too drunk to drive
Let’s control the wheel and right the right
They should prob’ly sleep it off tonight
 
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
 
Twitter
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
 
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
 
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
 
YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOPLDCBGkbzDh0PMUneNQ3A

“Orwellian Poetry” (A. “Woke Insomnia” / B. “Project Real”)
[Part 1: Orwellian Poetry]
It was the con of the century
It read like Orwellian poetry
Too blinded by their own hypocrisy
To see the dystopian irony
Their delusions quickly became quite clear
The con “will set us free”
 
[Part 2: Woke Insomnia]
Insomnia
Woke insomnia
Woke insomnia
Woke insomnia
 
They’re wide awake and unable to sleep
 
For days on end, they can no longer think
Dwindled is perception of reality
Woke, but not alert to their surroundings
“Truth isn’t truth,” “Don’t believe what you see”
“You’ll grow a third arm with the vaccines”
“The lone cure for COVID is Febreze”
This is what happens when Trump leads the GOP; they come down with
 
Insomnia
Woke insomnia
Woke insomnia
Woke insomnia
 
‘Nother day, ‘nother denial of truth
Masked with the flag and other comfort food
Empty-rhetoric symbols, no follow-through
A lack of sleep, mentally weak
“Doctors don’t know science”
“It’s not guns; drag-shows cause gun violence”
“Democracy will be saved if we destroy it”
MGT, Cruz, Graham, Gaetz, Bobo, and Jordan have all contracted
 
Insomnia
Woke insomnia
Woke insomnia
Woke insomnia
 
Completely sober, yet their speech is slurred
Can’t see straight; their vision’s blurred
Trouble moving, they try to call Uber
Awareness – an all-time low
“The bottom is the top”
“Fauci’s leader of the mob”
“With the most votes, Biden lost”
Will they ever sleep to wake up?
 
[Part 3: Project Real]
Accusations are confessions – project real
Accusations are confessions – project real
Accusations are confessions – project real
Accusations are confessions – project real
 
When they said to lock “her” up, they actually meant “Trump”
When Trump claimed that Biden interfered, he meant himself
“You stole candy!,” as they munch on “free” M&Ms
“O.J. killed his wife!” is just them saying “We did it!”
 
Accusations are confessions – project real
Accusations are confessions – project real
Accusations are confessions – project real
Accusations are confessions – project real
 
Get ahead of the story and blame someone else
But like a gymnast named Kama Sutra – you f*cked yourself
 
They point their fingers with a mirror staring back
A giant reflection of their guilt, about to crack
Their string of good luck is getting ready to end
As all of their allegations come right back to them
You hate Kaepernick, yet you took a knee
Gay men don’t hump sheep, but you f*cked one just last week
You call blacks lazy when you don’t work at all
The GOP tries to lie, yet projects the real
 
Accusations are confessions – project real
Accusations are confessions – project real
Accusations are confessions – project real
Accusations are confessions – project real
 
(Woke insomnia) Accusations are confessions – project real
(Woke insomnia) Accusations are confessions – project real
(Woke insomnia) Accusations are confessions – project real
(Woke insomnia) Accusations are confessions – project real
(Woke insomnia) Accusations are confessions – project real
(Woke insomnia) Accusations are confessions – project real
(Woke insomnia) Accusations are confessions – project real
(Woke insomnia) Accusations are confessions – project real
(Woke insomnia) Accusations are confessions – project real
(Woke insomnia) Accusations are confessions – project real
 
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
 
Twitter
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
 
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
 
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
 
YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOPLDCBGkbzDh0PMUneNQ3A

“Slim-to-None Funds”
Do you know who they’re stealing from?
Charities named after them
The dollars keep rolling in
Diverted to greens and bogey-men
Claiming donations as grifts
They’ve sunk lower than piles of sh*t
The depths of Satan’s fiery pit?
Lower than it
 
None, slim-to-none funds
Take from children
Give to themselves
None, slim-to-none funds
They are the world’s biggest grassholes
Pulling for hell
 
Driving around in their gold carts
Crashing before they even start
As they blame Soros and RuPaul
News breaks of their organization’s scam
They don’t know irons from woods
Yet stole from the kids for these goods
Than the South Pole is cold, they’re
Lower than it
 
None, slim-to-none funds
Take from children
Give to themselves
None, slim-to-none funds
They are the world’s biggest grassholes
Pulling for hell
 
They’re always slicing to the right
Their white balls they can never find
“Mark us down for two,” they will say
Flipping birdies to youngsters on the front and back nine
 
Further than you could ever attempt
Even the devil is impressed
At a point where nothing can drop
Lower than it
 
None, slim-to-none funds
Take from children
Give to themselves
None, slim-to-none funds
They are the world’s biggest grassholes
 
None, slim-to-none funds
Take from children
Give to themselves
None, slim-to-none funds
They are the world’s biggest grassholes
 
Pulling for hell
 
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
 
Twitter
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
 
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
 
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
 
YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOPLDCBGkbzDh0PMUneNQ3A