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- Education
Some advice you didn't ask for but I'm so generous, here, have one!
Sit down kid and listen, you might just learn something.
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Voice your desire
We all have a natural tendency of presuming what others will answer if we ask for something. We generally fear rejection, being told “no” and the awkward moment that follows. And instead of being direct, we insinuate, we try to finesse our demand. Let me tell you kid, people are clueless and will not understand your subliminal messages.
Go direct, simple, polite and open to the negative.
I remember when I was in my late teens, living with my mother and she’d ask what were my plans for the week end. I would go on with a bunch of stuff I wanted to get done. After 10-15 minutes of laying out my plan for those 2 glorious days, then I’d stop and ask why she wanted to know, she replied that she’d
“like a lift to go buy coffee on the other side of town but seems like the schedule is already quite filled”.
- How about going now ?
- Sure.
- Let’s roll!
if she had only directly asked, it would have been more simple. After a few times, I recognized the pattern and I’d simply tell her to “Express her need”.
There is a video of the beginning of Steve Job that he actually send a letter to a company’s president to have electronics parts for one of his project, that was way before Apple. He got a positive response and even got a summer job there, if my memory is good.
You have to realize that you are asking for a specific thing, a negative response only applies to the request. You, yourself are not denied or rejected. In time you’ll figure that Being refused a favor isn’t the end of the world, All this being said, you’ll find out that, most of the time, people are willing to go out of their usual ways to help someone who dares to ask. I don’t recall any time someone refused to boost my car and I usually don’t refuse to help someone asking for a small favor.
Take the positive with gratitude and the negative with grace and respect. Voice your desire fearlessly kiddo -
Never let your struggles define yourself
Never let your struggle define yourself.
There is a reason people don't get tattoo written "Stupid", "Weak" or "Useless".
It's because is not a permanent state, it's not a memory worth cherishing. or it does not inspire, it does not elevate, it may be how you feel, but deep down, that is not what you are.
Nobody puts "Socially awkward", or "Lazy", on their resumé because that is not the way the game is played, focus on your strength.
We all have our shortcoming in life, stuff we need to work on to grow, to become better human. Define yourself by your goals, by your achievement, by what inspires you, by your deepest beliefs and by the human qualities you bring forth in your journey.
When you present yourself to the world announcing your flaws, as courageous as it may be, you are also letting everyone know the weakest card of your hand; some will take advantage of this and you don't need that.
A friend of mine said "I've been obese all of my life" and I've replied: "You've been looking fine since I met you, and that was 5 years ago. When will you move on from that mental state, from that perception of yourself? " Long after she was healthy and fit, she still had her struggle as a self definition. Obviously, the whole story is a bit more complicated than that.
A while back, I saw a licence plate written "Anxiety" and I felt sorry for that person out of compassion. Keep in mind that custom plates cost money so that person made a decision to expose her shortcoming so directly. I know you can get rid of a car easily, but the way you define yourself will stick to your skin, and won't wash away on the first wash.
Label yourself with what makes you shine, what you're proud of. Broadcast loudly all the positive you carry into this world. -
Do the Best you can
Let me share a little secret I learned from my late father.
First, you need to understand that you cannot do more than your best and secondly, you cannot compare days as not all days are the same/equals.
You ready? here goes: Each day, do the best you can for that specific day. that's it.
This is as powerful as it is simple. Your best effort right now will not produce the same results as your best in a year if you practice a craft on the daily, but for today, you cannot expect to do more than your best.
A crappy days will turn into a "modest" best; An amazing days, when everything flows, when you're in the flow, then it's an amazing best.
So, you do your best, the rest is out of your control, but you, at the end of the day, you shall have no regrets as you did your best. -
Doing the right thing
Doing the right this is always the right thing.
This is taken from Gary Vaynerchuk. I heard that on his podcast/audio experience way back when.
I think it is self explanatory but still worth a few words. -
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You don't want anyone to tell you what to do, well youpidoo, that's not what you're in for. I've live a bit and seen enough to give you some advice you didn't ask for.