Book of Boredom

Book of Boredom

Reading & Roasting the Book of Mormon, cover-to-cover. This podcast was started by two ex-religious friends: Paul (exmormon), and Patience (exvangelical). They met in high school when they were both still religious. Paul left the show after Episode 53, but Patience still wanted to know how the story ends! So, she's currently searching for a new co-host, and continues to ridicule this thing, with the help of exmormon randos from the internet. We read it, so you don't have to! #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/

  1. 21 FEB

    Roasting Saints 28: Don't worry, it's not for time.

    ** #131 Roasting Saints 28: Don't worry, it's not for time. ** :: At least for now! :: Divchina, Gigi and Patience listen and respond to some bonkers clips from the 28th episode of the LDS history podcast titled "Saints". :: Highlights: :: Learn how the "Relief Society" started, and how Joseph Smith twisted it his way. Discover how the Mormon secret-sacred-b******t temple rituals started. Then marvel at how the church deals with the rituals being modified Masonry by just admitting it in a smooth calm voice, with no explanation, like it's a totally reasonable thing. Joseph Smith had different kinds of plural wives. Learn about the palatable (adultery-less) kind of plural wife, which supposedly wasn't for this physical life on Earth (time), but rather for the after-life (eternity). Then marvel at how Joseph still gets something out of it now. Learn about a fundamental church concept: If you're not sure, pray and receive your own witness from God on the matter. Then marvel at how this un-coercive sounding principle has always been weaponised to result in leaders getting what they want. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

    52 min
  2. 30/12/2025

    Alma 12-13: Rock-Hard Hearts

    ** #130 Alma 12-13: Rock-Hard Hearts ** :: The Musical! :: :: LDS News Since Last Recording: :: False Prophet Russell Nelson died 27 Sep 2025. So feel free to spend less time in your local temple. Sadly, 4 humans were murdered in an attack on a Michigan ward building on 28 Sep 2025. LDS General Conference was on 3-5 Oct 2025. Fortunately, 0 humans died when a Sydney ward building caught fire on 6 Oct 2025. New False Prophet Dallin Harris Oaks announced on 14 Oct 2025. Expansions to Lancashire Temple announced on 16 Oct 2025. They want more room for youth activities. Seems like an attempt at "Build it and they will use it". But they're fighting against nature with this one. Evolution developed boredom to keep humans away from places where literally NOTHING of any REAL use happens. :: This podcast was recorded on 19th Oct 2025. :: :: Highlights from Alma 12-13: :: Sing-along to "Father Abraham paid many tithes". Joseph Smith gets stuck in "preamble" mode. Mormons love things "by proxy", and hate themselves. The Pants of Wrath! Sister Gigi tells us the correct way to wash blood out of garments. Sister Patience sings whole chunks of this horseshit out of sheer frustration. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

    1h 2m
  3. 07/10/2025

    Roasting Saints 27

    ** #129 Roasting Saints 27 ** :: People Ruin Everything :: Jones and Patience rip apart some "faith affirming stories" from episode 27 of the Saints podcast. :: Highlights: :: Orson Hyde pretends to be a Jewish patriarch and piles up some rocks in the Holy Land. Ben Godfrey gets over excited about the "amazing work" of Leslie Sherman and her team, as they sift through "hundreds" of sources. He asks Leslie what that process looked like using the story of Mary and John Davis as an example, and is informed there was only one source. Leslie corrects Ben Godfrey when he says John C. Bennet was elected to the county court, because he was appointed. Thomas Sharp calls Smitty out from his newspaper, and Joseph cancels his subscription to it... and tries to have the last word by attaching the most unintentionally hilarious silly prose. Including phrases such as: "the filthy sheet", "that tissue of lies" and "sink of iniquity". Leslie explains how they chose which of Joseph's plural wives to write about in Saints. The upshot is, there were so many, that you could categorise them. Then they picked the story with the best sources for each category of wife. :: Also discussed: :: Some True Believing Mormon women are having a difficult time shifting gears to the new clothing rules which finally allow them to show their shoulders. Politics J Wellington Wimpy from the Popeye comics. Creepy dolls. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

    39 min
  4. 12/09/2025

    Alma 11: Deconversion Brainworm

    ** #128 Alma 11: Deconversion Brainworm ** :: I'll see your SHUM and raise you an ONTI :: Gigi and Patience read Alma 11 from The Book of Mormon. It was pretty fun. The whole chapter is just so stupid. Smitty invents nomenclature for values of gold and silver and it all means nothing because we don't know how much a "measure of grain" is. It seems the only reason for this weak attempt at world-building was to explain the value of "six onties of silver" in Verse 22. This is where Judge Zeezrom tries to bribe Amulek. Or is it a purity test? Who knows! Was Joseph oxygen deprived inside his devining hat? Patience promised an algerbraic equation of Smitty's currency values. But it turns out, it's simpler than that! Several units have identical values, and everything is relative to that nebulous GRAIN MEASURE which is the only unknown, and we'll call it "g". :: Unique Units: :: LEAH = g/8 SHIBLUM = g/4 SHIBLON = g/2 GOLD ANTION = 3g/2 :: Duplicate Units: :: SILVER SENUM = GOLD SENINE = g GOLD SEON = SILVER AMNOR = 2g GOLD SHUM = SILVER EZROM = 4g GOLD LIMNAH = SILVER ONTI = 7g There is also some pretty bold and stupid doctrinal and eschatalogical statements in this chapter. In verse 39 Amulek even equates God the Father with the Son of God! Clearly the modern Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ignores this trinitarian doctrine from their own holy book. :: Other Discussions: :: Sister Gigi has been working with VC Defensa to help immigrants and their families impacted by the ICE crackdowns in California. Sister Patience blames socialism for being kicked out of her apartment for a year, and excessive immigration for why it's been so difficult getting a job. Ways of getting accurate news in a world of opinion shows and deep fakes. Sister Gigi doesn't understand why other people find Rachel Maddow so annoying. Sister Patience finds Rachel Maddow annoying, but struggles to explain why. Why do women send letters to dangerous men in jail AND fall in love with them? Is it the same mechanism that caused so many women to marry Joseph Smith? Could a cult be dismantled by separating the women from it? #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

    50 min
  5. 16/04/2025

    Alma 10: Morgy

    ** #127 Alma 10: Morgy ** :: You gotta have food at the Morgy :: Alma 10 prompts Gigi to ask AI what a Mormon orgy would look like. Benjamin confirms that you definitely need food at an orgy. And Patience has her mind blown when she learns that shredded carrot can be put in jello to make a salad. Smitty gives lawyers a hard time in this chapter, so we have 2 lawyers-in-recovery to serve it back to him! Sister Gigi felt prompted by the Spirit to write a poem after learning what a morgy might look like: :: Morgy :: | This now lives | in my mind rent free | thanks a lot | Chat GPT. | | Things I cannot | now unsee. | Thanks a lot | Chat GPT. Upon hearing the episode before it's official release, Brother Jones commented: "Ferrets, not weasels. Acid, not mushrooms." If anyone wants the full story, it was episode "#074 Melting Room, Angry Ferrets" where we read the only chapter of Omni. https://bookofboredom.com/episodes/2022-06-09/ Also, if anyone else is just like Sister Gigi and wants to know more about Brother Benjamin's life, go check out the podcast he does with his friend Lauren that we briefly referenced. It's called "The Examined Lives (ENM Vibes)" podcast. Mormonism comes up frequently during the first season of it. https://pod.link/1767688018 #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

    42 min
  6. 10/01/2025

    Alma 9: Face Off!

    ** #125 Alma 9: Face Off! ** :: The boring BUDDY-COP sermon without the BUDDY :: In this episode, Gigi and Patience dive into Christmas propaganda, and the eternal struggle of being a Lamanite in a Nephite world (or vice-versa because in a refreshing twist, Alma doesn't seem to see much of a difference in this chapter). Patience gets a job, then is fired for calling out someone's religious hypocrisy. And Gigi, suggests a career change as an "AI wrangler", like the kind potentially employed (but probably not) on the Church's suspiciously perfect "Light the World" campaign. The same campaign website has a silly "Kindness Randomizer," tool to suggest useless things to do over Xmas (that only make sense if you transposed the 1950s into 2024). Stuff like, making art for your dad, or sending a kind text. Gigi suggests productive ideas like "take in homeless people", or "clean your damn room." Patience suggests dad probably just wants 5 minutes alone. The duo tackle Oakes' recent devotional speech where he addressed accusations that LDS parents in Utah are excluding non-LDS peers from socialising with their spawn. Gigi suggests it's probably less intentional, and more a result of always being at church activities. But the real star of the show is Alma 9, where Alma and his "toy boy" Amulek deliver a fiery sermon full of threats, repetition, and stiff-necked insults. Gigi and Patience dissect the chapter, and Alma's obsession with being "cut off from the face of the earth", and his twist in favor towards the Lamanites. Turns out, God likes them better than the Nephites in this town, who are apparently just too blessed to function. But ultimately God seems to hate everyone he has made. Why doesn't he blame himself? The episode wraps with a wild tangent about Joseph Smith's probable adoration of itinerant preachers at tent revivals, his aversion to hard work, and his genius for turning religion into a lucrative business. Gigi and Patience fantasize about starting their own church, the "Church of the Big Fuck You," where tithes are replaced with "fuck you money." #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

    28 min
  7. 14/12/2024

    Alma 8: Amulek breaks Alma's fast (and his back)

    ** #124 Alma 8: Amulek breaks Alma's fast (and his back) ** :: Y'all get sleeveless garments for Xmas! So sell your sleeved garments on Depop? :: People try to make maps of the stories from the Bible and the Book of Mormon. But there's a difference. Smitty doesn't use real place names. So don't bother trying to picture any of the travels in Alma 8. Even true believers draw half-hearted squiggles. :: Apart from Alma 8, we discuss: :: In the last LDS General Conference, "Temporary Commands" were introduced as a way to explain away inconsistencies in Mormon revelation. Sister Patience thinks that's a new way to make your head explode. The LDS Church is buying up truckloads of land in Australia. So much in fact it may trigger a law change on how much land can be purchased in one go by a foreign entity. Brother Jones and Sister Patience imagine what a Hypercolor Graphic Novel edition of the Book of Mormon might be like. Sister Patience discovers a 70 person town in the center of Australa comprised entirely of Mormons: Mulga Bore. The air in Salt Lake City sucks right now because of a high-pressure system trapping all the temple dust (among other pullutants). Mouse (the ironically named massive dog) still drags Brother Jones outside for a walk. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

    38 min

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5
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About

Reading & Roasting the Book of Mormon, cover-to-cover. This podcast was started by two ex-religious friends: Paul (exmormon), and Patience (exvangelical). They met in high school when they were both still religious. Paul left the show after Episode 53, but Patience still wanted to know how the story ends! So, she's currently searching for a new co-host, and continues to ridicule this thing, with the help of exmormon randos from the internet. We read it, so you don't have to! #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/