Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't Tony Santore

In this episode we talk with Hunter Martinez of the Cactus Quest YouTube Channel about how he got into growing cacti from seed and lurking on them in habitat. We discuss the spirituality of loving plants and deserts, the pros and cons of the collector habit common among this family of plants, why so many cacti grow on limestone geology, and the benefits of growing from seed over purchasing full-grown plants.

A series of extended rants about "F*ck the Honeybees", trying to settle beefs between friends, Male Primate Rivalry, Riding Trains in Mexico in 2005 & Brakemen with gold fronts, spreading the cult of native plant gardening via demonstration by example and killing lawns.

A long-winded rant about the social media phenomenon known as Instagram Drug Bros™️ and trying to encourage them to seek spiritual refuge (como se dice nice) in education about plant ecology and evolution rather than just the hoarding and collecting of plants that may have been sourced through somewhat unethical means. Why is plant habitat just as, if not more important than the plant itself? How is the ecological context in which a plant evolves inseparable from the plant itself? Can we get Instagram Drug Bros ™️  to start studying and collecting data on things like native solitary bees? What are the means through which Instagram Drug Bros™️ can expand their scope of interest to include things like phylogenies, breeding systems, pollination ecology, and geologic substrate? Why are so many cacti obligate out-crossers? Why is peyote self-fertile? Why do so many angiosperms produce bisexual flowers and what the hell is a breeding system?

Also includes a nice rant about  a vestigial population of Agave unvittata found growing on a limestone cliff face above a freeway in San Antonio. Was there ever a basement in the Alamo or was that just a BS story that that huckster psychic conjured up in order to milk PeeWee out of cash?

This is a science-heavy episode with Dr. Michael Windham, specialist in Cheilanthoid Ferns curator at Duke Herbarium. Even if you're not interested in this group, they're a great case study in numerous fascinating phenomena including convergent evolution, biogeography (dispersal vs. vicariance), why DNA sequencing is important to taxonomy, self-cloning to escape the limitations of being a fern in a desert, etc. 


"Cheilanthoid Ferns" are a remarkable group of ferns - they grow in habitats where ferns seemingly shouldn't be able to grow - out of cracks in rocks and cliff faces in regions that are both usually very hot and very dry. Genera like Astrolepis, Myriopteris, Notholaena, Argyrochosma, Pellaea (the "coffe fern" in California), Cheilanthes, and more have been blowing my mind years as I frequently encountered them co-occurring in habitats with Cacti and spiny legumes. To the East, Myriopteris alabamensis grows all over drier rocky "microsites" throughout the Eastern half of North America. 
These ferns are often either fuzzy as hell or blue, chalky-mint-green, and waxy with a wirey rachis. It'd be hard for anybody who takes a look at them to not be taken with how cool they look. 

But how do they get it done? What are some of their adaptations? What is the evoutionary age of the family and where is the origin of diversity? What the hell is a "gametophyte" and are they unisexual or the fern equiavelent of being protogynous (and what the hell does "protogynous" mean anyway?). Why is molecular sequencing (looking at the DNA) so important for figuring out how all these plants are related to each other? What is convergent evolution and why have so many genera in this subfamily evolutionarily converged on the same strategies to cope with life in a dry environment? How do you identify species when so many of them look superficially alike and don't produce flowers (what we normally use to identify plants)? How long can their damn spores last (answer : centuries, in some cases). 


We cover it all in this two hour podcast.  If there's a term we use that you're not familiar with, look it up or join the Crime Pays patreon and send me a message. A brief list of topics somewhat sloppily-arranged in an "episode map" is below. Note: until I can alienate the casino advertisers, they seem to be especially herpetic on this episode. Ad-free episodes can be found on the Patreon.

apomixis : 1 hour 20

evolutionary age ; 75 ya

synapomorphies : revolute margins and pseudo-indusia

convergent evolution

center of diversity indicates center of origin

no farina in Notholaena, but flavonoid compounds on capitate hairs resembling cotton-candy

talking about cheilanthoid ferns to explain convergent evolution and how dna can resolve evolutionary relationships 

difference between eusporangiate ferns and leptosporangiate

age of viability of fern spores

alternation of generations

antheridiogen

dispersal vs. vicariance 1:31

apomixis 1:36

This episode consists of a rant about code-switching and friendship/cordiality through friction and being a pain in the ass, along with why dissecting flowers (and not just taking them at face value) with a razorblade or knife is important for understanding evolution, plant breeding systems and pollination ecology, what being "protogynous" is and why so many early-braching angiosperms do it, trying to offend advertisers, helping cacti bang in order to produce seed, and how an undescribed Gymnopilus species found growing on a shrubby Ambrosia species in the Baja California Desert  (thumbnail photo for this episode on spotify) actually contains the psychoactive compound Psilocybin (albeit at very small amounts) as confirmed through HIgh Pressure Liquid Chromatography

A conversation with Tony Figueroa, Senior Manager for the Invasive Plant Program at the Tucson Audubon Society (no affiliation with the National Org) about preventing Buffelgrass and Stinknet from smothering fragile Desert Ecosystems in Arizona. We also discuss why some in the "online permaculture community" (oh gahd) have such an aversion to any and all glyphosate use due to a misunderstanding about how it's used. Other topics include using an electric chainsaw to vandalizeCallery Pears and Crepe Myrtles and other hotricultural atrocity street trees, Why Texas is so uptight, how an invasive arugula-like plant is invading the desert near Gila Bend, and the growth rate of Saguaro Cacti.