228 episodes

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey explores the glorious and unique language of football: the words, the phrases, the mannerisms and, above all, the clichés.
Featuring 'Mesut Haaland Dicks' interviews with the likes of Jamie Carragher, Nedum Onuoha, Tom Rosenthal and many more too.

Football Cliches - A show about the language of football The Athletic Football

    • Sports
    • 4.9 • 14 Ratings

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey explores the glorious and unique language of football: the words, the phrases, the mannerisms and, above all, the clichés.
Featuring 'Mesut Haaland Dicks' interviews with the likes of Jamie Carragher, Nedum Onuoha, Tom Rosenthal and many more too.

    Picking up the pieces in the cathedrals of football

    Picking up the pieces in the cathedrals of football

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Duncan Alexander for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: Brendan Rodgers talks about his 50th birthday in the most football way possible, the point at which goals compilations can go from "best" to "greatest", whether a fullback can be described as "box-to-box" and some far-fetched movie references on the BBC for Wrexham's FA Cup Hollywood heroics.
    Meanwhile, the panel decide the threshold for a stadium to become a "cathedral of football" and the precise location for a player to be "picking up the pieces".
    ***
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    • 39 min
    Interrogating celebrity fans and post-victory highlights binging, with Matt Lucas & Elis James

    Interrogating celebrity fans and post-victory highlights binging, with Matt Lucas & Elis James

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by British comedy royalty Matt Lucas and his Fantasy Football League sidekick Elis James for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks.
    Among Matt's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are using football small talk to win over your other half's dad, the schadenfreude of watching the opposition's Fan TV YouTube channels after a win and the interrogation techniques faced by celebrity fans of big clubs.
    Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy some research-based, middle-class football chanting from the National League South.
    ***
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    • 43 min
    Deconstructing (and reassembling) the most "silencing the critics" goal celebration of all time

    Deconstructing (and reassembling) the most "silencing the critics" goal celebration of all time

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: the optimum order of the components of the "ignoring the outside noise" goal celebration, whether a goalkeeper can ever be a "passenger", an ambitious attempt to document all the types of footballing "stuff" and a potential successor to the outdated goalmouth-scramble descriptor of "Keystone Cops".

    Meanwhile, the panel enjoy Mikel Arteta being brought to touchline justice and pick apart a curious chant during Southampton vs Aston Villa.
    ***
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    • 56 min
    FA Cup sex noises, combined XIs and the elegant pointlessness of centre circles

    FA Cup sex noises, combined XIs and the elegant pointlessness of centre circles

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller field January's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, where the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.
    Among the selections are the need to explain dramatic football moments to nearby people who don't care, the provocative scourge of Combined XIs, the functional pointlessness of centre circles, and the underreported confusion of "Last 5 Matches" form graphics.
    Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel assess the aftermath of the unprecedented live "sex noises" scenes on the BBC's FA Cup coverage.
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    • 54 min
    Lovely little NBA players and outfieldery-looking goalkeepers

    Lovely little NBA players and outfieldery-looking goalkeepers

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: How and where players can "tear it up", whether it's possible to be a "lovely little player" in the NBA and transfer reporters clashing over the linguistic nuances of the January window.
    Meanwhile, the panel attempt to standardise one of the most cluttered punditry cliches of all and decide which Premier League goalkeeper most looks like an outfield player forced to go in goal.
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    • 57 min
    The "dog on pitch" protocol with Duncan Alexander

    The "dog on pitch" protocol with Duncan Alexander

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by former Opta ace Duncan Alexander for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks. Among Duncan's selections for his footballing fascinations and irritations are lesser-known football-influencing dogs, the exact threshold at which an act of showboating triggers widespread hand-wringing and the poor souls who volunteer as assistant referees in youth football.
    Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel mull over a third dimension to send a goalkeeper the wrong way with a penalty.
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    • 1 hr 2 min

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5
14 Ratings

14 Ratings

Stickdoggydogg1245 ,

Top notch

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