16 episodes

These podcasts are a reflection of Ruth & David’s on-going conversations which are both intimate and professional and touch on complex topics like how systems fail victims and children, how victims experience those systems, and how children are impacted by those failures. Their discussions delve into how society views masculinity and violence, and how intersectionalities such as cultural beliefs, religious beliefs and unique vulnerabilities impact how we respond to abuse and violence. These far-ranging discussions offer an insider look into how we navigate the world as professionals, as parents and as partners. During these podcasts, David & Ruth challenge the notions which keep all us from moving forward collectively as systems, as cultures and as families into safety, nurturance and healing.Note: Some of the topics discussed in the episodes are deeply personal and sensitive, which may be difficult for some people. We occasionally use mature language. We often use gender pronouns like “he” when discussing perpetrators and “she” for victims. While both and men and women can be abusive and controlling, and domestic abuse happens in straight and same-sex relationships, the most common situation, when it comes to coercive control, is a male perpetrator and a female victim. Men's abuse toward women is more closely associated with physical injury, fear and control. Similarly, very different expectations of men and women as parents and the focus of Safe & Together on children in the context of domestic abuse makes it impossible to make generic references to gender when it comes to parenting. The Model, through its behavioral focus on patterns of behavior, is useful in identifying and responding to abuse in all situations including same-sex couples and women's use of violence. We think our listeners are sophisticated enough to understand these distinctions.

Partnered with a Survivor: David Mandel and Ruth Stearns Mandel Ruth Stearns Mandel & David Mandel

    • Relationships
    • 5.0, 5 Ratings

These podcasts are a reflection of Ruth & David’s on-going conversations which are both intimate and professional and touch on complex topics like how systems fail victims and children, how victims experience those systems, and how children are impacted by those failures. Their discussions delve into how society views masculinity and violence, and how intersectionalities such as cultural beliefs, religious beliefs and unique vulnerabilities impact how we respond to abuse and violence. These far-ranging discussions offer an insider look into how we navigate the world as professionals, as parents and as partners. During these podcasts, David & Ruth challenge the notions which keep all us from moving forward collectively as systems, as cultures and as families into safety, nurturance and healing.Note: Some of the topics discussed in the episodes are deeply personal and sensitive, which may be difficult for some people. We occasionally use mature language. We often use gender pronouns like “he” when discussing perpetrators and “she” for victims. While both and men and women can be abusive and controlling, and domestic abuse happens in straight and same-sex relationships, the most common situation, when it comes to coercive control, is a male perpetrator and a female victim. Men's abuse toward women is more closely associated with physical injury, fear and control. Similarly, very different expectations of men and women as parents and the focus of Safe & Together on children in the context of domestic abuse makes it impossible to make generic references to gender when it comes to parenting. The Model, through its behavioral focus on patterns of behavior, is useful in identifying and responding to abuse in all situations including same-sex couples and women's use of violence. We think our listeners are sophisticated enough to understand these distinctions.

    Episode 16: Family and Friends Guide: How to be an ally to a loved one who is being abused

    Episode 16: Family and Friends Guide: How to be an ally to a loved one who is being abused

    In this episode, David interviews Ruth about the Safe & Together Institute's Family and Friends Ally Guide. This guide was created out of the direct experiences of survivors of domestic violence, coercive control and child abuse. It outlines what...

    • 1 hr 4 min
    Episode 15: Coercive Control, Entrapment & Isolation: An interview with Luke & Ryan Hart

    Episode 15: Coercive Control, Entrapment & Isolation: An interview with Luke & Ryan Hart

    Before he murdered their mother Claire and their sister Charlotte, Luke and Ryan Hart's father spent years justifying his control by telling them the world is a dangerous place. All the while, he was the one who was dangerous to their lives and liberty....

    • 58 min
    Episode 14: Caring for self while caring for others: An interview with Laura van Dernoot Lipksy

    Episode 14: Caring for self while caring for others: An interview with Laura van Dernoot Lipksy

    In this episode, Ruth and David have a discussion with Laura van Dernoot Lipsky, author and director of the Trauma Stewardship Institute.  David, who has known Laura for a long time, has seen and felt the power, practicality and simplicity of her...

    • 41 min
    Episode 13: Mapping domestic violence perpetrator's use of COVID-19 pandemic to increase coercive control

    Episode 13: Mapping domestic violence perpetrator's use of COVID-19 pandemic to increase coercive control

    In this episode Ruth & David outline an emerging checklist for professionals and families to help them map perpetrator's patterns of behavior in the context of the COVID-19 pandemic and our social response.

    • 59 min
    Episode 12: COVID-19: Helping families impacted by domestic abuse in a time of crisis

    Episode 12: COVID-19: Helping families impacted by domestic abuse in a time of crisis

    Ruth & David Discuss how to continue to keep families safe during this Covid-19 crisis. What are the considerations for understanding perpetrator patterns of control and abuse in this context? How do social workers set up best practices and create a space for gathering vital information?

    • 58 min
    Episode 11: Getting Inside the Mind of Men who Use Violence

    Episode 11: Getting Inside the Mind of Men who Use Violence

    In this podcast, David & Ruth get inside the mind of men who use violence and abuse. The Five Elements in the Profile of Abusive Men was developed to guide group interventions with domestic violence perpetrators. This "operational profile," which...

    • 1 hr 13 min

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