The Imperfects Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg

After his sister, Niki, was murdered by her ex-partner, Tarang Chawla made a decision - that he wouldn’t allow Niki to be remembered as just another statistic. Since then, Tarang has become an activist, working to reduce incidents of all forms of violence and abuse towards women in Australian.

In this episode of the IMPERFIX, we reflect on a conversation we had with Tarang back in 2022. Here, Tarang discusses the importance of believing and supporting women when they disclose abuse, and understanding the role of power, control, and gender inequality in such scenarios. Tarang also emphasises the need to separate individuals from their potentially abusive behaviour, underscoring the collective responsibility of men in combating violence against women.

Here are some important links from this episode.

🎧 Previous episodes of The Imperfects


Tarang Chawla - Men talking about mens violence https://link.chtbl.com/9ps_S1kW
An imperfect chat about men - https://link.chtbl.com/BVlSy3Kf

📱 Things to follow


Tarang Chawla’s Instagram - https://bit.ly/4bQa8Up

🎧 Things to listen to


There’s no place like home, with Tarang Chawla https://bit.ly/3yst5Oq

🚨 For support


Our watch https://bit.ly/3w0BQhV
White Ribbon https://bit.ly/3W6nMhs
No To Violence https://bit.ly/3UlyiA5

If you feel like you are in immediate danger please call 000. If you need someone to talk to we recommend calling the national 24-hour sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling line 1800 RESPECT on 1800 732 732.The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Taking a risk, by definition, is hard. A lot of us spend most of our life avoiding risks, under the assumption that it’s the ‘safe’ thing to do.

As Dr Em explains, we have an evolutionary instinct for self-preservation; tendencies to overestimate danger and underestimate our ability to cope; and we often have early childhood experiences and messages around safety that can coalesce into ‘playing it safe’ behaviours.

In this episode, Dr Em reveals that paradoxically, if we spend our whole life avoiding risk, then we are guaranteeing a less engaged, less fulfilling, less ‘lived’ life than we are capable of. That in fact, avoiding risk, is the biggest risk of all.

Dr Em, also offers strategies to guide us in the direction of letting a little more risk into our everyday lives.

To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://bit.ly/4dMUP0l

There is a lot mentioned in this episode, find it all below:

 

🎧 Previous episodes of The Imperfects


Tim Minchin - Lucky to be here https://link.chtbl.com/6kCw7ZR0
Adam Grant - The potential of your potential https://link.chtbl.com/eUA4IJCh
Gina Chick - Don’t fight life https://link.chtbl.com/Ginachick
Pat Cummins - Love, loss & Life https://link.chtbl.com/o_uN8l_H
Martin “Rac” Heppell - The other F word…FAILURE

📺 Things to watch


Tim Minchin - Play it Safe https://bit.ly/44PnJc4
Moana https://bit.ly/4bJZyy2

🎧 Things to listen to


How i work - Amantha Imber, https://bit.ly/3WNGxXw

📖 Things to read


Acceptance and Commitment Therapy -  https://bit.ly/3wE7nqm

🛒 Things to buy


The Resilience Project & Dr Em’s - 6 Month Wellbeing Journal https://bit.ly/3K8Z9cK

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We mean no disrespect to any of our other guests, but when Hugh says that Dr. Kiran Martin, is the most impressive person he has ever met, it’s hard not to agree.

Dr. Kiran Martin is the founder of ASHA in India. It’s a not for profit, that for over 35 years, has provided healthcare and education to millions of people living in slums in India.

In this clip, Dr Kiran tells us of the time she decided to wash the feet of a Dalit woman (an ‘untouchable’ in the caste system of India) in order to demonstrate humility. And it was this moment of true leadership that lead to a feet washing movement throughout ASHA, breaking down caste barriers in the process.

You can learn more, or support Dr. Kiran Martin and ASHA’s work here. https://bit.ly/44Fl1WP.

To listen to the full episode with Dr. Kiran Martin, click here https://link.chtbl.com/OjRxhECI
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

All too often when talking about infertility, we only tell one side of the story. Traditionally in the public discourse, it has very much fallen into the category of a ‘women’s issue’. However, as our guest this week Reece Conca can all too painfully attest, 40% of infertility issues are actually male factor related.

Reece Conca is a former Australian Rules Footballer, who played over 150 games for Richmond and Freemantle.

When Reece and his partner Bell were finding it difficult to conceive, it took them far too long to discover that Reece has a condition called Azoospermia, which effects 1% of men - a condition where in Reece had no sperm in his semen.

In this Vulnerabiltea House, Reece speaks openly and honestly about the physical and emotional toll of a fertility journey he is very much still on, the hormone injections, the surgeries and much, much more. 

To follow Annabelle and Reece on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@annabelleandreece
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of the IMPERFIX, we revisit our chat with Australian comedian Luke McGregor. Many of us live with Anxiety, Luke McGregor has for a lot of his life. For Luke, his anxiety became so overwhelming that it resulted in him having panic attacks on stage in front of audiences. In this clip Luke explains what anxiety looks like for him and what he now does to manage his anxiety, allowing him to continue to work and to get the most out of life.

You can hear the original episode in full, with Luke McGregor, here https://link.chtbl.com/5Izyw-wD
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every Thursday over 3 million people want to hear what James Clear has to say. They do so in the form of his ‘3-2-1 newsletter’, one of most popular newsletters on the planet. In 2018 James Clear published his book Atomic Habits, a comprehensive, practical guide on how to change your habits and get 1% better every day. And that book has now sold over 15million copies. So you won’t be surprised to hear how excited we were to have Jame Clear as this weeks guest lecturer in The Academy of Imperfection.

In this episode we learn about the importance of habits. Both the good and bad ones. We learn James’s four laws of behaviour change (make it obvious, make it attractive, make is easy, make it satisfying); the value of goals; we discuss Josh, Hugh and Ryan’s own personal history with habit setting; and how small incremental changes to your habits can set you on the path to achieving your goals and ultimately becoming the kind of person you would like to be.

You can purchase James Clear’s best selling book - Atomic Habits here, https://bit.ly/3UKx0in.

If you would like to subscribe to James’ 3-2-1 Newsletter, click here, https://bit.ly/44swR6o.

And you can find James’ habit tracking app ‘Atoms’ here https://bit.ly/4b1Pq41
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.