27 min

4 Behaviors of Pornography Users Betrayal Trauma Recovery - BTR.ORG

    • Relationships

Do you suspect that your partner is using porn? Have you discovered pornographic material on his phone or computer? These 4 tell-tale behaviors of pornography users will validate you and help you understand how his behavior is harming you.



Tiffany Barnes join Anne Blythe on the free BTR podcast to share her insights and experience regarding the ways pornography users abuse women. Read the full transcript below and listen to the free BTR podcast for more.



Pornography Users Gaslight Victims



Gaslighting is a universal tool of abusers. By distorting the victim's reality, porn users can avoid accountability and shift blame onto the victim.



Gaslighting is also known as crazy-making.



When Tiffany would confront her abusive ex-partner about his pornography use, she was gaslit:



He just tried to make me feel like I was being crazy, and I did. I questioned it a few times; am Icrazy? Is this just me being ultra-paranoid or something?



Pornography Users Attempt To Normalize Their Porn Use



Often, pornography users employ tactics to make their sexually depraved behaviors appear normal to avoid accountability and make the victim feel "prude", boring, or immature.



Some of the ways that pornography users attempt to normalize porn are:



"Hiding" pornographic material in plain sightCalling pornographic material "art"Saying things like, "Everyone does this"; "I'm a guy, that's what guys do"; or "No other woman would have issues about my porn use."Saying that they use pornography to help the marriage/relationship become strongerBlaming the victim by saying things like, "If you would have sex with me more, I wouldn't do this."



Pornography is NOT a healthy and natural piece of human sexuality: it is abuse and exploitation. When victims can ground themselves in this truth, their partner's manipulation won't work any more.



Pornography Users Dehumanize Their Partners



Many women report being photographed, videotaped, or even live-streamed by their abusive partners. Women are sexually coerced, degraded, and physically harmed when phonography users demand sexual contact.



Pornography itself is objectification: selling women's bodies for money. When men choose to view pornographic material, they are by default objectifying other human beings. This rarely stays compartmentalized.



Pornography users dehumanize their partners by:Fantasizing about themAsking them to perform sexual acts that the victims are not comfortable withAsking victims to view pornography with themDemanding or guilting partners into having sexual contactFilming, photographing, or otherwise sharing sexual photos of victims, with or without consent



Pornography Users Sexually Coerce Partners



Any time a man has sexual contact with his partner without fully disclosing his sexual history, including pornography use, he is guilty of sexual coercion.



Healthy sex is consensual. Women cannot give informed consent when men withhold key information about their own sexual behaviors. This is sexual coercion, a serious form of sexual abuse.



If you think you are being sexually coerced by your partner, ask yourself: Have we ever had sexual contact when he had used phonography but hadn't told me? If the answer is yes, then you are a victim of sexual abuse.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkPH4zkxJYw




Betrayal Trauma Recovery Supports Victims of Pornography Users



At BTR, we understand the confusion, fear, and devastation that women experience when their partner is using porn.



That is why we created the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group: so that women can have access to multiple, live sessions every day.



The BTRG gives women the opportunity to process trauma, ask questions, and share difficult feelings in a safe place. Join today.



Full Transcript:



Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery, this is Anne.



I have some amazing news! We just surpassed 1 million downloads to the podcast, which I never everimagined would happen,

Do you suspect that your partner is using porn? Have you discovered pornographic material on his phone or computer? These 4 tell-tale behaviors of pornography users will validate you and help you understand how his behavior is harming you.



Tiffany Barnes join Anne Blythe on the free BTR podcast to share her insights and experience regarding the ways pornography users abuse women. Read the full transcript below and listen to the free BTR podcast for more.



Pornography Users Gaslight Victims



Gaslighting is a universal tool of abusers. By distorting the victim's reality, porn users can avoid accountability and shift blame onto the victim.



Gaslighting is also known as crazy-making.



When Tiffany would confront her abusive ex-partner about his pornography use, she was gaslit:



He just tried to make me feel like I was being crazy, and I did. I questioned it a few times; am Icrazy? Is this just me being ultra-paranoid or something?



Pornography Users Attempt To Normalize Their Porn Use



Often, pornography users employ tactics to make their sexually depraved behaviors appear normal to avoid accountability and make the victim feel "prude", boring, or immature.



Some of the ways that pornography users attempt to normalize porn are:



"Hiding" pornographic material in plain sightCalling pornographic material "art"Saying things like, "Everyone does this"; "I'm a guy, that's what guys do"; or "No other woman would have issues about my porn use."Saying that they use pornography to help the marriage/relationship become strongerBlaming the victim by saying things like, "If you would have sex with me more, I wouldn't do this."



Pornography is NOT a healthy and natural piece of human sexuality: it is abuse and exploitation. When victims can ground themselves in this truth, their partner's manipulation won't work any more.



Pornography Users Dehumanize Their Partners



Many women report being photographed, videotaped, or even live-streamed by their abusive partners. Women are sexually coerced, degraded, and physically harmed when phonography users demand sexual contact.



Pornography itself is objectification: selling women's bodies for money. When men choose to view pornographic material, they are by default objectifying other human beings. This rarely stays compartmentalized.



Pornography users dehumanize their partners by:Fantasizing about themAsking them to perform sexual acts that the victims are not comfortable withAsking victims to view pornography with themDemanding or guilting partners into having sexual contactFilming, photographing, or otherwise sharing sexual photos of victims, with or without consent



Pornography Users Sexually Coerce Partners



Any time a man has sexual contact with his partner without fully disclosing his sexual history, including pornography use, he is guilty of sexual coercion.



Healthy sex is consensual. Women cannot give informed consent when men withhold key information about their own sexual behaviors. This is sexual coercion, a serious form of sexual abuse.



If you think you are being sexually coerced by your partner, ask yourself: Have we ever had sexual contact when he had used phonography but hadn't told me? If the answer is yes, then you are a victim of sexual abuse.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkPH4zkxJYw




Betrayal Trauma Recovery Supports Victims of Pornography Users



At BTR, we understand the confusion, fear, and devastation that women experience when their partner is using porn.



That is why we created the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group: so that women can have access to multiple, live sessions every day.



The BTRG gives women the opportunity to process trauma, ask questions, and share difficult feelings in a safe place. Join today.



Full Transcript:



Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery, this is Anne.



I have some amazing news! We just surpassed 1 million downloads to the podcast, which I never everimagined would happen,

27 min