18 episodes

This podcast is for those of us who are parenting teenagers.
Cai Graham’s straight-talking insights and tools & techniques are designed to equip parents (and teenagers) with the tools for navigating adolescence.

The Parent & Teen Toolbox Cai Graham

    • Parenting
    • 4.0, 1 Rating

This podcast is for those of us who are parenting teenagers.
Cai Graham’s straight-talking insights and tools & techniques are designed to equip parents (and teenagers) with the tools for navigating adolescence.

    Ep 17 - Is Your Child Under Achieving

    Ep 17 - Is Your Child Under Achieving

    You have tried to support your child by helping them develop good study habits and showing them the importance of a well balanced daily routine.
    But their grades are dropping and they just seem disinterested.
     
    “What’s the point?”

    “Schoolwork is boring.”
     
    In this episode, I discuss the difference between Under-Achieving and Not Performing.
     
    I explain why, more often than not - your child’s lack of interest in their studies and schoolwork is more a result of Fear rather than Laziness.
     
    This is not about making sure your child gets straight A’s all the time - it is about helping your child reach their full potential ( inside and outside the classroom ) whatever that means for them
     
    I leave you with 4 pointers to ensure your child feels properly supported :


    What’s their MOTIVATION
    2. PRAISE the Effort Avoid Using Labels Set Realistic Expectations


    If you need to get in touch - please email me at toolbox@caigraham.com
     
    If Anxiety Levels are running high in your home - then I have a couple of resources for you:
     
    My Anxiety course provides you with support by :

    ✔️ Recognising the triggers
     Understanding Anxiety - and why we don’t want to get rid of it all together  Learning a couple of techniques to help you stop a panic attack in it’s tracks How as a parent, you can support your anxious child  
    📍www.caigraham.com/anxiety



    If you or your child are struggling with your emotions at the minute - then I have a great online course that introduces you to 7 different breathing exercises that a can get you out of many sticky situations :
     
    📍www.caigraham.com/breathe



    Details of all further podcasts can be found on my website :
    📍www.caigraham.com/podcast

    Music Credits : MBB : https://soundcloud.com/mbbofficial/happy

    • 19 min
    EP 16 - Boundaries

    EP 16 - Boundaries

    As our children approach adulthood, they are so desperate to gain and develop their newfound independence - so the last thing they want is parental restrictions being thrust upon them to cramp their style!

    BUT - in this fast-paced world - Boundaries are EXACTLY what our children need.
     
    In this episode, I discuss the importance of sticking to your guns and having healthy boundaries for your child to adhere to.
     
    Boundaries are often be greeted by teenagers with repeated objections - but our children do indeed thrive when there are clearly defined parameters to live by  (just like motorists adhering to the Highway Code) - without specific rules, family life would be chaotic.
     
    Boundaries bring clarity.

    I explain why boundaries need to be child-centered and not an attempt for parents to maintain the upper hand!
     
    Children feel safer with boundaries in place - though teenagers are highly likely to admit to this. Without particular ‘standards’ being put into place, each decision and course of action turns into a negotiable tug-of-war. This just builds resentment as each power struggle escalates.
     
    I talk about what parents can do to ease the friction in the home so that healthy boundaries can be put in place and give way to a calmer atmosphere in the home.
     
    If you need to get in touch - please email me at toolbox@caigraham.com
     
    If Anxiety Levels are running high in your home - then I have a couple of resources for you:
     
    My Anxiety course provides you with support by :

    ✔️ Recognising the triggers
     Understanding Anxiety - and why we don’t want to get rid of it all together  Learning a couple of techniques to help you stop a panic attack in it’s tracks How as a parent, you can support your anxious child  
    📍www.caigraham.com/anxiety



    If you or your child are struggling with your emotions at the minute - then I have a great online course that introduces you to 7 different breathing exercises that a can get you out of many sticky situations :
     
    📍www.caigraham.com/breathe



    Details of all further podcasts can be found on my website :
    📍www.caigraham.com/podcast

    Music Credits: MBB : https://soundcloud.com/mbbofficial/happy

    • 22 min
    EP 15 - The Importance of Sleep

    EP 15 - The Importance of Sleep

    Why it’s OK to let your child sleep in!
     
    In this episode, I talk about the importance of sleep.
     
    How teenagers have a different sleep cycle than parents and why it’s important for us to adjust to this.
     
    16 million adults say that they have sleep problems - so I offer some suggestions on how to reduce the stress of trying to get a good night’s sleep
     
    I explain :
    ✔️ Why sleep is important.
    ✔️ What to do if you cannot get to sleep
    ✔️ What to do if you wake in the night
     
    In this episode I give you 3 practical exercises that will help you :
    ✔️ 4-7-8 Method
    ✔️ Chalkboard Exercise
    ✔️ 5-4-3-2-1 Happy Place
    I also give you my own Sleep Routine: LASTS:


    L - Learnings
    A - Actions
    S - Set the Scene
    T - Thankfulness
    S - Socks
    Sleep well x

    If you need to get in touch - please email me at toolbox@caigraham.com
    If Anxiety Levels are running high in your home - then I have a couple of resources for you:
    My Anxiety course provides you with support by :

✔️ Recognising the triggers
    ✔️ Understanding Anxiety - and why we don’t want to get rid of it all together
    ✔️ Learning a couple of techniques to help you stop a panic attack in it’s tracks
    ✔️ How as a parent, you can support your anxious child
    📍www.caigraham.com/anxiety

    If you or your child are struggling with your emotions at the minute - then I have a great online course that introduces you to 7 different breathing exercises that a can get you out of many sticky situations :
    📍www.caigraham.com/breathe

    Details of all further podcasts can be found on my website :
    📍www.caigraham.com/podcast
    Music Credits : MBB : https://soundcloud.com/mbbofficial/happy

    • 23 min
    EP 14 - How to Create a Brighter Future

    EP 14 - How to Create a Brighter Future

    “There’s nothing to look forward to.”
    “ There’s no end in sight.”
    “I’m stuck in a rut.”
    Does any of this sound familiar?
     
    When we don’t have anything to look forward to we can feel discouraged and despondent. Every day feels like Groundhog Day.
     
    

In this episode, I talk about the importance of taking responsibility and planning your own future.
     
    It might feel as though the future looks dreary - but only if you let it!
     
    The trick is convincing your monkey mind that you’ve got something great on the horizon.

It could be a new job or moving house. Perhaps you want to take up a new hobby or get on with something that you have been putting off for too long.
     
    Whatever it is - planning really helps.
     
    So grab a pen and a notebook and start writing.
    ✔️ Decide what you DON’T want.
    ✔️ Decide what you DO want.
    ✔️ What are the pros and cons of each option?
    ✔️ Who can help you?
    ✔️ How much time do you have?
    ✔️ How will you feel when you achieve what you want?
    Your Unconscious Mind needs to have things to focus on. Things to look forward to. Things to work towards. These pointers will help.
    If you need to get in touch - please email me at toolbox@caigraham.com
     
    If Anxiety Levels are running high in your home - then I have a couple of resources for you:
    My Anxiety course provides you with support by :

✔️ Recognising the triggers
    ✔️ Understanding Anxiety - and why we don’t want to get rid of it all together
    ✔️ Learning a couple of techniques to help you stop a panic attack in it’s tracks
    ✔️ How as a parent, you can support your anxious child
    📍www.caigraham.com/anxiety

    If you or your child are struggling with your emotions at the minute - then I have a great online course that introduces you to 7 different breathing exercises that a can get you out of many sticky situations :
    📍www.caigraham.com/breathe

    Details of all further podcasts can be found on my website :
    📍www.caigraham.com/podcast
    Music Credits : MBB : https://soundcloud.com/mbbofficial/happy

    • 24 min
    EP 13 - How to Talk to your Child about Racism

    EP 13 - How to Talk to your Child about Racism

    There is so much unrest at the moment following the death of George Floyd - a black man who died from asphyxiation whilst in police custody because a white police officer knelt on his neck for 9 minutes.
     
    Understandably there is anger and protests are appearing across the globe.
     
    In this episode, I give guidance to Parents in how best to talk to their children about racism and how the deep-rooted bigotry within many of our societies has to change. There is no going back to the “status quo.”

    As parents, we are our child’s first role model. We help them shape their values and their beliefs - we can, therefore, shape how we heal systemic and historic racism. The change starts with us, parents. 
     
    What can we do as parents?
    1. Practice Self Care and Self Awareness
    2. Educate Yourselves - Understand White Privilege
    3. Have Age-Appropriate Conversations
    4. Acknowledge Your Child’s Curiosity
    5. Mind Your Language - What to Say
    6. Validate Everyone’s Feelings
    7. Address Past Mistakes
    8. Nurture Respect
    9. Develop a Growth Mindset
    10. Be the Voice of Change The internet is full of suggestions on how to learn more and how to make a difference. Here are a few suggestions which are only the tip of the iceberg :
     
    MOVIES to Watch :
    13th
    The Innocence File
    The Help
    Dear White People
    When They See Us
    Hidden Figures
    12 Years a Slave
    The Butler
    American Son
     
    Books to Read :
    I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings – Maya Angelou
    White Fragility – Robin Diangelo
    Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race - Reni Eddo-Lodge
    Their Eyes Were Watching God - Zora Neale Hurston
    I Am Not Your Baby Mother - Candice Brathwaite
    So You Want to Talk About Race - Ijeoma Oluo
    Petitions to sign: Justice for George Floyd on change.org
    Social Accounts :
    @blklivesmatter
    @stop_hate_uk : www.stophateuk.org/donations
    @showracismthecard
    @colorofchange
    @theconsciouskid
     
    Details of all further podcasts can be found on my website :
    📍www.caigraham.com/podcast
    Music Credits : MBB : https://soundcloud.com/mbbofficial/happy

    • 26 min
    EP 12 - How to Communicate with an Uncommunicative Teen

    EP 12 - How to Communicate with an Uncommunicative Teen

    In this episode, I talk about how to communicate with a teenager who doesn’t really want to talk to you.
     
    When teenagers are in the home - communication suddenly takes on a different form!
     
    Perhaps the only communication going on at the moment is yelling and door slamming. It’s not unusual.
     
    Maybe there is silence - as everyone appears to be trying to avoid one another.
     
    Let’s face it - teenagers often become less keen to share what’s going on in their heads - and they tend to retreat to their room for peace and quiet. That’s normal.
    

But despite all this - it is important for parents to keep the lines of communication open - so that you can help them and support them when they need you.
     
    The key points to remember are :


    ✔️ Building Rapport :

    More about this here: https://www.caigraham.com/rapport/
    ✔️ Developing Your Listening Skills :
    More about this here: https://www.caigraham.com/listeningskills/
    ✔️ Minding Your Language:
More about this here: https://www.caigraham.com/mind-your-language/
     
    I have a fantastic exercise that will help you with this :
    📍www.caigraham.com/3questions
    Details of all further podcasts can be found on my website :
    📍www.caigraham.com/podcast
    Music Credits:
    MBB: https://soundcloud.com/mbbofficial/happy

    • 32 min

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