It Burns Eli Young
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- Society & Culture
I am an angry, angry man. I loathe pretty much everything. And so I invite you to feel the fire of my hatred.
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Episode 9: Cruise Ships and Elephant Cocks
Because I am spoiled, I occasionally go on cruises. Because I am an ungrateful, whiny bitch, I complain about them. Because I am easily distracted, I then talk about things completely unrelated. My brother contributes by playing Katamari Damacy on his PSP (see spoiled).
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Episode 8: In Which Age Limits Are Instated
In this extremely delayed episode, I forbid people from doing things. On an unrelated note, please let me know if you have a better idea for how I should end these.
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Episode 7: The Television of Yesteryear
Once upon a time, children's television didn't suck. I'm not really sure what happened between then and now. All I know is that my brother Abe and I are not happy about the change.
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Episode 6: Not So Much Delicious As Annoying
If you somehow don't already know, believe me when I tell you that food, while tasty, is a huge pain in the ass. Popcorn in particular can fuck right off.
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Episode 5: The Ragemobile
This marks the beginning of my systematic rejection of all modes of transportation. I probably won't follow through with that, but that's not the point. What I'm trying to say is that I have much hate for automobile-related bullshit.
I really do need a Ragemobile, though. -
Episode 4: The Forbidden Fruit
In this much-delayed episode of It Burns, I tell you that Apple sucks. So great is my hatred for Apple that it took almost sixteen minutes to get me to quiet the hell down.