Struggle Care KC Davis

Welcome to Struggle Care, where we talk about all things individual and systemic that affect your life, wellness, and mental health. Joining me is Derrick Hoard, a licensed marriage and family therapist, TikTokker, and video game aficionado. I’ve followed him since 2020, and I love his thoughts and perspectives. Today’s topic, video games and relationships, stirs up some strong reactions and opinions, but you will walk away from this episode with a fresh and thoughtful view of the hobbies we all enjoy in our lives. Let’s get into it!

Show Highlights:

Video games are misunderstood and not recognized for what they are—the most beautiful, immersive forms of storytelling that exist.

Men can get in touch with emotions through playing video games.

Video games get unjustly blamed for communication problems in relationships.

Video games comprise a safe space of non-judgment where one can feel confident and competent. 

Thoughts about men in therapy, gender dynamics, and emotional labor

Consideration and honesty in relationships about our hobbies

Society’s expectation of productivity leads us to feel shame and guilt about our hobbies. This is so wrong!

Understanding how to have honest and authenticity in our relationships—from the start

Red flags to look for when video games (or other obsessive hobbies) become our ONLY coping skills in life3


Resources and Links:
Connect with Derrick Hoard: Website, TikTok, and the Mindful Gaming Podcast
Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Do you want to bring sexy back into your life? This concept encompasses much more than actual sex, but it reaches to the inner depths of a woman’s core identity, vitality, and attitudes about life. This episode was prompted by the response to a recent TikTok in which I commented about how I’ve rediscovered things about myself here in my late 30s as my kids are a bit older and I have more time to myself. The response was big, with many questions about what I’ve done. I hate to say that there really is no big secret, but this topic is well worth exploring, so I’m bringing in my good friend, Lindley Gentile, a licensed marriage and family therapist. She is an expert who works specifically with women around rediscovering their sexiness, or perhaps, learning to discover it for the first time. 

Show Highlights:

Contributing factors to why women lose their individuality and sexiness

The roles women fall into throughout life’s phases—without any renegotiation with their partner

Sexiness in identity is about MUCH more than having sex.

Being “turned on” is about aliveness, vitality, positivity, and a vibration of your soul.

Care tasks create a barrier to pleasure.

Sex is like a playground for fun and pleasure, and the aging woman can have more fun at the playground.

Aging women, what they wear, and feeling sexy

Sexiness is about energy and how you feel.

False messages from society around fatphobia, suppression, and ideology

Fantasy is a gift and a power that can overcome our tendency to overthink.

Lindley’s starting point with women who want to rediscover their sexiness

Lindley’s recommended reading for every woman: Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski


Resources and Links:
Connect with Lindley Gentile: Website, TikTok, and Austin Couples Concierge Counseling
Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

As usual, we are talking about all things mental health, wellness, and topics that matter to us both individually and systemically. I’m excited to be joined by Parker Bushman, the founder and CEO of Ecoinclusive Strategies and the Inclusive Journeys Guide. Ecoinclusive Strategies is a consulting firm that works with conservation-based organizations, environmental organizations, and nonprofits around diversity, equality, and inclusion. Join us!
Show Highlights:


Nature should be free and accessible to ALL!

The existing disparities in neighborhoods, tree cover, park access, and open spaces

Racist roots of the conservation movement

Messages of elitism among “outdoorsy” people

Things that have been baked into our ideas about who gets to be outside and enjoy it–We need to break down the barriers!

Thoughts about able-ism and outdoor spaces

Parker’s consulting work with organizations doing wildland restoration, community engagement, and DEI work

Building community through engagement, information, collaboration, and empowerment

Systemic issues that prevent outdoor access

Parker’s advice to everyone about finding outdoor activities that you enjoy


Resources and Links:
Connect with Parker Bushman and Ecoinclusive Strategies: Website, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok
Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

We are continuing with the topic of trad wives, but we are taking a different angle in this conversation. I’m joined by Professor Neil Shyminsky, who is an English professor at Cambrian College in Sudbury, Ontario. He doesn’t teach a lot about literature but likes to focus on media studies, gender/sexuality studies, and socio-political thought. We begin with a clip of Professor Neil explaining the concept of the “leisure class” as it relates to trad wife content. Join us!

Show Highlights:

The “other” side of trad wife content: an idealized performance of domesticity and romanticization of a woman’s role

Professor Neil defines “the leisure class.”

Don’t always believe the story the camera shows! (It’s all carefully curated content!)

Social signals in how we “perform” our gender

Trad wives as the moral purity status symbol of their husband’s godliness and enjoyers of God’s richest blessings from living a life of submission

Thinking critically is key to understanding the truth about the values they promote.

The difference between liking traditionally feminine things and being a content creator who makes active choices about how they present their enjoyment of traditionally feminine things

The comparison between trad wife content and MLMs

Professor Neil’s advice: “Be thoughtful and self-reflective in what you consume.”


Resources and Links:
Connect with Professor Neil Shyminsky: TikTok, Instagram, X, and LinkedIn
Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Buckle up for this one! We are discussing the interesting topic of trad wives, the psychology of anti-feminism, and the pushback/feedback we are seeing on TikTok. If you aren’t sure what any of that means, stay with us, and we will explain. I’m joined by my good friend and frequent guest on the show, clinical psychologist, Dr. Lesley Cook. 

Show Highlights:

A montage of trad wife audio content

The overriding philosophy of trad wife content: the good way vs. the bad way (with no in-between)

KC’s definition of a trad wife: “a woman who chooses to stay home, submit to her husband, and embrace traditional gender roles because they believe God says they will be happier” (usually with undertones of homeschooling, homesteading, and political/religious agendas)

The correlation between mainstream marketing, multi-level marketing, and trad wife philosophy: they all create the myth around what they are trying to sell

The psychology of instability, isolation, loneliness, vulnerability, and a lack of belonging common in the trad wife movement

Too much feminism OR not enough feminism??

Our responsibility as a global community of women to the problems of patriarchy

Patriarchy, the myth, and the marketing campaign

Scenarios in which a trad wife is trapped, isolated, overtaxed, and overwhelmed—but still believes the myth

Traps that pop up in many areas with exploitive systems that can all be tied to money

How we are consuming trad wife content with a romanticized view of the false narrative


Resources and Links:
Connect with Dr. Lesley Cook: TikTok
Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.

Please be advised that today’s episode is adult content; it’s not safe for work or little ears. We are talking all things kink with Sunny Megatron, a clinical sexologist, kink educator, and consultant. Join us for an interesting and informative conversation!

Show Highlights:


Understanding what kink really is—and how it measures up to the assumptions we have

The difference between kink and a fetish

Sunny explains “kink done well” and “kink done wrong”

The concept of “aftercare” in kink

Societal messages around sex that lead to shame, embarrassment, and an overall lack of open communication

We don’t understand our sexual motivations.

Stigma busting around sexual assault, trauma, and fantasy

Red flags to look for in sexual power dynamics

The slippery slope of fear (of what kink may lead to)

Problems in kink relationships are the SAME problems in “vanilla sex” relationships! 


Resources and Links:
Connect with Sunny Megatron: Website, TikTok, and Instagram 
Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.