321 episodes

Advice for smart men on how to succeed with women in sex, dating, relationships, and marriages. Beautiful women give you a peek behind the curtain into what the feminine really craves from the masculine ... and how to give it to us. Personal growth is sexy, haven't you heard? Get in touch at dearmenpodcast@gmail.com. Take our free training for men at https://evolutionary.men/dearmen

Dear Men: How to Rock Sex, Dating, and Relationships With Women Melanie Curtin

    • Health & Fitness

Advice for smart men on how to succeed with women in sex, dating, relationships, and marriages. Beautiful women give you a peek behind the curtain into what the feminine really craves from the masculine ... and how to give it to us. Personal growth is sexy, haven't you heard? Get in touch at dearmenpodcast@gmail.com. Take our free training for men at https://evolutionary.men/dearmen

    317: What exactly IS codependency? (How do you know if you’re codependent?) (ft. Jason Lange)

    317: What exactly IS codependency? (How do you know if you’re codependent?) (ft. Jason Lange)

    "It felt kind of like a trap, but at the same time felt like a soothing warm blanket to feel safe and ruminate within."
    "The codependent relationship is filled with drama. There is blaming, a victim and the rescuer/protector. That rescuer is filled with needing to be needed. That’s where it began for me."
    "It was years of trying as hard as I could to make things better but never being good enough to matter how hard I tried."
    The word "codependence" gets thrown around a lot, but it's not always clear what it means. How do you know if you're codependent? How do you know if your partner is codependent? Can one person be codependent while the other isn't?
    Here we delve into our own personal experiences of codependency, as well as the experiences of some of our clients. We aim to provide clarity on codependent dynamics and how to overcome them.
    In Jason's words, "Too many men stay in a place of perpetual suffering." If your love relationships have never felt quite right -- if they've always felt off, or you've felt like you were just taking care of your partner (she couldn't take care of herself), or you've never felt like you could get it right with your partner (nothing was ever enough), this will be relevant for you.
    A lot of the men we work with are aching for MORE, and I just want to say -- that's available. You don't have to stay stuck. Growth is always possible.
    Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.
    To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
    ---
    Memorable quotes from this episode: “We’re deeply entwined with each other where there’s almost no agency or independence.”“While the relationship was ‘safe’, we were both suffering deeply inside.”“As long as my partner was approving of me, there was a sense of, ‘I’m OK.’”“There was a fear — if I’m not with her, I’ll be alone.”

    • 1 hr
    316: Where do you find quality masculine role models? (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]

    316: Where do you find quality masculine role models? (ft. Jason Lange) [replay]

    Did you have a deeply present, emotionally aware father who took the time to attune to you and teach you how to be a trustworthy, integrated man?
    If so, you're in the minority. ;) Most of our clients had far-less-than-ideal role models when it came to the masculine -- which makes becoming a trustable adult man challenging.
    For example, do you feel equipped to lead hard conversations with your woman partner, and help the two of you navigate repair? Are you able to stand up for yourself in a deep, grounded way without getting defensive or shutting down? Did you ever see any of those things role-modeled in your family of origin?
    The fact is, we learn how to be in the world from our caregivers. If you were raised by people who were abusive, alcoholics, neglectful, or just not emotionally attuned to you, then there are gaps in your understanding of sex, dating, and relationships. Here we talk about how to fill those in -- and how to replace bad role models with good ones.
    If you're someone who wants to grow beyond how he was raised -- this one is for you.
    Themes from this episode:
    The impact of having an emotionally volatile dad vs. absent/passive dadIf you don't want to be "that guy" -- the angry guy, the shut-down guy, the guy who makes women uncomfortable -- how do you act instead?How do you reclaim your manhood if you grew up with women who badmouthed men? (i.e. "Don't be like your father")The power of men's work---
    Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.
    To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

    • 1 hr 6 min
    315: What happens once you’ve recovered from Nice Guy Syndrome? (ft. Dr. Robert Glover)

    315: What happens once you’ve recovered from Nice Guy Syndrome? (ft. Dr. Robert Glover)

    There's a lot out there about Nice Guy Syndrome. But what happens after? What is the magical land of Boundaries, for example?
    If you’ve figured out you’re a Nice Guy, you’ve likely been in a love relationship or two (or five) where you felt like your partner walked all over you, or where you developed resentment after overextending yourself. Or perhaps you've consistently felt used in your relationships. 
    If you’ve ever had thoughts like, “When’s it going to be my turn? Why doesn’t she want to have sex with me?” or, “I’ve done so many good things, nobody should ever be mad at me.” — then you’re plenty familiar with Nice Guy Syndrome!
    But what happens after you’ve recovered? What’s the dream? What happens once you’ve mastered things like asserting yourself, knowing what you want and need and how to speak up for it, and how to set healthy boundaries?
    Here, Dr. Glover and I go through the before, during, and after states of Nice Guy Syndrome. It gets spicy in places, so get ready for a fun ride!
    Memorable quotes from this episode:“Nobody ever taught me, ‘Say what’s on your mind.’ In my family, that was actually punished.”“You begin to realize that a lot of the patterns in your life are triggered by unconscious toxic shame, and deep anxiety states.”“In the process of having good guy friends, my love relationship has improved dramatically.”“This is the most productive, satisfying year of my life.”“We’re healing for humanity.”

    • 1 hr 15 min
    314: Can microdosing help you develop better relationships? (ft. David Romero)

    314: Can microdosing help you develop better relationships? (ft. David Romero)

    Ever contended with anxiety, depression, chronic pain, ADHD, or OCD ... and had that affect your sex or love life?
    Ever suspected that you have generational trauma, or thought you were broken?
    Ever felt like there was something wrong with you because you just can't seem to get it together when it comes to relationships?
    Spoiler alert: There is nothing wrong with you, and you are not broken. Sometimes we just all need some support to break through big blocks.
    Here, I talk with David Romero, psychedelic integration coach, about how microdosing psilocybin can help human beings live fuller, richer lives -- including in relationship.
    So-called "magic mushrooms" have huge potential when it comes to healing. And with all the stresses of modern life, we can use all the advantages we can get when it comes to helping us to have more regulated nervous systems, heal attachment issues, and overcome chronic pain.
    If you've ever been curious about microdosing psilocybin as a therapeutic modality, you won't want to miss this one.
    ---
    Memorable quotes from this episode:"More often than not, the root causes of physical pain are deeply psychological.""We’re byproducts of the stress that took place before we even arrived in this world.""These things do amazing things because they help give you a different perspective.""It allows us to take a step back from the crisis our mind is putting us into.""I can confidently say it has made a profound impact on my life and my love relationship."---
    Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.
    To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
    ---
    Mentioned on this episode:How to Change Your Mind -- mini-series on psychedelics used for healing, streaming on NetflixFantastic Fungi -- excellent documentary on mushrooms (psychedelic as well as other kinds), streaming on Netflix

    • 1 hr 2 min
    313: GuyTalk: Life after being with a BPD partner (Borderline Personality Disorder)

    313: GuyTalk: Life after being with a BPD partner (Borderline Personality Disorder)

    "I took responsibility for things that wasn’t mine to take."
    So begins the brave stories of four men who share their personal experiences of what it was like being in relationship with a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder (or with traits of it).
    If you've ever been unsure about whether your partner may have traits of BPD, this is a good one to listen to. For example, ever felt like your role in your relationship is solely that of a caretaker? In one man's words, "I felt like a caregiver and she was my responsibility."
    Thrillingly, this episode is about more than just the intensity of being in an unhealthy relationship. It's also the story of freedom, expansion, and joy. It's how these men got out, and the brightness, love, and peace that's possible on the other side.
    In one man's words, a turning point was interacting with someone who treated him with kindness and respect: "It was a healing moment and I began to imagine a different life for myself."
    What does it take to get out of an unhealthy relationship? What is life like after you do personal growth work and heal? Sex, dating, and relationships are complex, and here we delve into all the dynamics at play from beginning to end.
    ---
    Memorable quotes from this episode:“Anything I shared about myself was eventually used against me, and sometimes in cruel ways.”“My life in the relationship was like being on a rollercoaster with no safety harness.”“My self-worth started to come back, and that’s what made me think, ‘What am I doing in this situation?’”“In my current relationship, I feel grounded, safe and loved. It’s a world of difference.”“Now life is pretty fucking great.”---
    Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.
    To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
    ---
    Other resources mentioned on this episode:National Domestic Violence hotline (includes a live chat feature, if you don't want to get on the phone yet): TheHotlineDear Men episode 128: Feel like you're walking on eggshells? Recognizing Borderline Personality DisorderDear men episode 289: Do Nice Guys attract volatile women?

    • 1 hr 31 min
    312: GirlTalk: How much money do you make, and how much does that matter?

    312: GirlTalk: How much money do you make, and how much does that matter?

    Have you ever felt like you needed to make a lot of money to impress women?
    Ever had a dynamic shift around money in a relationship, and not known how to deal with it (for example, she starts making more than you, and you have unexpected feelings about that)?
    Have you wondered who should pay on a date (do you offer to? Is that considered sexist now?)
    If you've wanted to be a fly on the wall and hear the unvarnished truth about how women feel about men, money, and masculinity, then this one's for you! Of course we don't represent all women, but you'll likely appreciate the diversity of perspectives. Get ready for vulnerability, depth, and some good laughs along the way.
    ---
    Work with usWant to go deeper than the podcast? Jason and I are ready to work with you! We specialize in helping men break old patterns and transform their sex & love lives for good.
    To see if there's a fit for our flagship program Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

    • 1 hr 6 min

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