DESTROY ALL CULTURE Aidan and Adam

That’s one live dog right there facing off with two virtual lions.

















Every so often, a movie comes along that so perfectly embodies the moment of its release that it should be taught in history courses as the purest emanation of a given age. Such a movie is Jason X, a movie so 2001 that Stanley Kubrick is lucky he never lived to see it. A space ship with an interior that looks suspiciously like a Laser Quest franchise, populated by hot people in improbable knitwear getups? Hell yes. It’s the turn of the millennium, people. It’s time to take our horror franchises into space on a reasonable budget. Listen below as Aidan and Adam enjoy the hell out of themselves.
Also, there’s a David Cronenberg cameo. I don’t know what else you want from a movie.

she’s f****d. she’s so fucked.

















Spoiler alert: Karen Crowder (Tilda Swinton) is f****d. She’s so fucked. Michael Clayton (George Clooney) isn’t the guy you kill. He’s the guy you buy. If this movie is about any one thing in particular, beyond the moral abyss of corporations and the ways in which community and meaning will pop up like connected air sacs on a sheet of bubble wrap, it’s about the wisdom of proportionate response. You can’t kill Michael Clayton because his kind is unkillable. He’s an interchangeable part of the machine. And if you don’t get that? If you push the Michael Claytons out of the moral abyss and leave him on the lip, casting his eyes around as he remembers the truth of humanity? Then you’re f****d. You’re so fucked.

It’s time for Three Days of the Condor, Sydney Pollack’s masterpiece of Cold War paranoia, a film which suggests that mild-mannered English majors can hold their own in a cat-and-mouse spy game - if they look like Robert Redford, that is. Listen to Adam and Aidan as they dissect the politics of their childhoods and place bets on how long they’d survive if Max von Sydow tried to murder them.

never has a live dog live dogged more.

















Hold on a moment. Did they make a decent Terminator sequel, at long, long last? Well, kind of. It’s largely great! Linda Hamilton and Arnold Schwarzenegger are back, Mackenzie Davis is great as always, Diego Luna makes for a great robot. Even Natalie Reyes, who takes a bit of a back seat in the midst of all this nostalgic star power, acquits herself well.
No amount of quality was going to rescue Terminator: Dark Fate, which tanked at the box office and seemed to hand reactionary fodder over to the Dipshitosphere. Nonetheless, we talk about the highs and lows as the Terminator story draws to a close. Until the next time someone tries to kick at this metallic can. Listen below or find us on your podmachine of choice.

whatever.

















Ahahahaha. This movie sucked.
“But,” you ask, “how exactly did it suck? Was it an earnest attempt to reboot the franchise with yet another trilogy-starter? (yes) Was it an egregiously miscast snorefest that tried to hit all points on the graph but somehow missed every single one? (yes) Did it convince you that Skynet is Genisys? (no, Skynet is Matt Smith) Is it a fact in the movie that Sarah Connor’s father used to take her to a concrete bunker under a bridge? (yes) Is that bizarre fact ever explained or explored?” (no)
Glad you asked that very long-winded multi-part question. Listen below for the answers, or find us on your podcast machine of choice.

hello domino’s? Do you deliver to the apocalypse?

















Hey! Who wants a new Terminator movie? It’s got everything! It’s got the original T-800… with Arnold’s face CGI’d onto a bodybuilder. It’s got Sarah Connor… on a series of audio cassettes. And it’s got John Connor - in several scenes! Oh, and Kyle Reese pops up. But most importantly, it’s got *checks notes* fan favourite Marcus Wright, played by Sam Worthington. Who’s Marcus Wright? Oh, I thought you were a real Terminator fan. You could be forgiven for not hearing about Wright, because this is the first time the character’s appeared in the franchise. He’s the main character.
Oh yeah! Terminator Salvation is the story of Marcus Wright, a guy who was sentenced to death before the Machine-Human War but finds himself mysteriously alive in the future. Who is he? Really? Who is Marcus Wright? I hope you’re invested in the answer to that question, because that’s what you’re getting in Terminator Salvation. Listen below or find us on your podcaster of choice.