Guest Post (Slow): the Bespoke Joke Bloke - Office Gossip (Series 004, Episode 002) Hear English (from the Full English Experience)
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Hear English presents a guest post from professional comedy writer: Joel, aka the Bespoke Joke Bloke www.bespokejokebloke.co.uk OFFICE GOSSIP (Slow) You can get the mp.3 here. Too slow? Try the faster version in the following post. Normal 0 0 1 264 1506 12 3 1849 11.1282 0 0 0 Cooee, nice to see you. How’s your first day? How’s everyone treating you? Nicely? Really? Even Jill? Oh that’s nice. I’m amazed she can still smile; she says it was Bell’s palsy but I think it was Botox. So you can see how special it was for her to smile for you. Have you got a boyfriend? You can tell me I’m really discreet. I mean just ask Jennifer. I didn’t tell anyone when she was going out with Brian from reprographics, who was married to Jessy in accounts. They ended up getting divorced and Jennifer had a telling off from HR. I mean who’d gossip about that and get her into trouble? I reckon it was Harry the guy who does security. It’s not his fault, he just likes a drink. At lunch time, tea time, well most of the time. Poor guy stuck on that desk all day long. Do you like a drink? Oh, me? No, never. Ever come into work with a hangover? Me? No, never…so, do you have a boyfriend? Do you think any of the guys working here are hot? Oh no, workplace romances are always trouble. Take Jennifer: I mean, she had to take 2 months off work. She said it was back strain, but, my mate, who works down the pub and knows someone in the NHS, said she had a breakdown and was in a mental hospital. Like that Jill, who went on a 6 week holiday to see her cousin in Australia, but, I reckon she was having a boob job. She went out a C and came back a D; I don’t think the sun made them grow big. So have you heard any good gossip? C’mon you’re new; everyone’s indiscreet with the newbie. It’s about me? What could there be about me? Oh, that I’m on a final written warning and performance improvement notice for bullying and harassing other staff members. Well if having a chat is what the company views as harassment that’s their problem. Do I have a boyfriend? That’s none of your business! www.bespokejokebloke.co.uk
Hear English presents a guest post from professional comedy writer: Joel, aka the Bespoke Joke Bloke www.bespokejokebloke.co.uk OFFICE GOSSIP (Slow) You can get the mp.3 here. Too slow? Try the faster version in the following post. Normal 0 0 1 264 1506 12 3 1849 11.1282 0 0 0 Cooee, nice to see you. How’s your first day? How’s everyone treating you? Nicely? Really? Even Jill? Oh that’s nice. I’m amazed she can still smile; she says it was Bell’s palsy but I think it was Botox. So you can see how special it was for her to smile for you. Have you got a boyfriend? You can tell me I’m really discreet. I mean just ask Jennifer. I didn’t tell anyone when she was going out with Brian from reprographics, who was married to Jessy in accounts. They ended up getting divorced and Jennifer had a telling off from HR. I mean who’d gossip about that and get her into trouble? I reckon it was Harry the guy who does security. It’s not his fault, he just likes a drink. At lunch time, tea time, well most of the time. Poor guy stuck on that desk all day long. Do you like a drink? Oh, me? No, never. Ever come into work with a hangover? Me? No, never…so, do you have a boyfriend? Do you think any of the guys working here are hot? Oh no, workplace romances are always trouble. Take Jennifer: I mean, she had to take 2 months off work. She said it was back strain, but, my mate, who works down the pub and knows someone in the NHS, said she had a breakdown and was in a mental hospital. Like that Jill, who went on a 6 week holiday to see her cousin in Australia, but, I reckon she was having a boob job. She went out a C and came back a D; I don’t think the sun made them grow big. So have you heard any good gossip? C’mon you’re new; everyone’s indiscreet with the newbie. It’s about me? What could there be about me? Oh, that I’m on a final written warning and performance improvement notice for bullying and harassing other staff members. Well if having a chat is what the company views as harassment that’s their problem. Do I have a boyfriend? That’s none of your business! www.bespokejokebloke.co.uk