The Shameless Mom Academy: Motherhood, Motivation, and Mindset Tips for Busy Moms Sara Dean

Work-life balance is not a thing. Not only is it not a thing, but the idea of it is founded on a lie. It is an idea and philosophy that the Patriarchy feeds to women as something to be desired, something to be attained, something to aspire to.  
As feminism has evolved over the last few decades, many of us have been told that, “This is your time! Finally, women can have it all.” Sounds great in theory. But we have been given no resources and no support. But without resources, support, and systemic restructuring (philosophical and logistical) there is no way for this to be lived. It’s an idea and a lie that allows the Patriarchy to look like they care. Cute, huh?
We have been conditioned that because we can have it all, we should go after it all. And then once we go after it all and fill every millimeter and pore of our metaphorical plates, we should also keep it all balanced in some picture-perfect mathematical ratio - as if our lives are as simple as some sort of formula or squeaky clean quadratic equation.  
We are told if we have better balance, we wouldn’t be so stressed out all the time.  
We are told if we have better balance, we will be better moms and our kids will be more likely to thrive.  
We are told we are lucky to live in an era where we can work full time (if not more) and also parent full time - cramming 48 hours of work into every 24-hour day.  
Because we are told this lie is true and possible, we are left to feel inadequate, guilty, and resentful when we cannot figure out how to make it work.  
When we are working, we feel guilty that we aren’t parenting. When we are parenting, we feel guilty that we aren’t working.  
If you feel like you don’t have a work-life balance, it’s because there is no such thing. You are not the only one who feels inadequate in your constant journey toward this farce. Millions of us are standing beside you. And, we are tired too.  
This Greatest Hits episode is an invitation to exhale, see a new truth, and give yourself permission to start living in a reality that allows you to release all feelings of failure and inadequacy because they were never yours to own.  

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Parijat Deshpande is the founder and CEO of Ruvelle, the only trauma-informed wellness company specifically dedicated to improving high-risk pregnancy outcomes, reducing preterm birth, and supporting parents on the entire high-risk pregnancy journey. On a mission to end the high-risk pregnancy crisis, she has served and supported thousands of clients through her live events, one-on-one work, her bestselling book, Pregnancy Brain: A Mind-Body Approach to Stress Management During a High-Risk Pregnancy, and the Body Language Journal.
I am thrilled to welcome Parijat back to the show as a second-time guest. I have watched her work evolve over the years since she was last on the show and I had a sense that now is just the right time to have her come back - this time to talk about traumatic stress and collective trauma.  

Listen in to hear Parijat share:

Her path to working in women’s health and serving women who are enduring health trauma

The significance of trauma-informed medical care and where we are currently going wrong without it

What it’s like for people with medical trauma to navigate the world without people understanding their experience

How the pandemic created a situation of global collective trauma that we are still very much living in

What needs to happen for us to heal from collective trauma

When we don’t have collective safety, how we can find support at any given moment by addressing our own physiological needs 

How we have shifted from living in collective trauma to living in a collective functional freeze

What trauma-sensitive medical care actually looks like


Links mentioned:

Connect with Parijat and Ruvelle: www.ruvelle.com


Parijat and Ruvelle on IG


We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes life is messy, ugly, and downright cruel. Currently, I have a number of loved ones going through really big, messy, unfair, hard things. When we find ourselves in these moments or seasons it can be so hard to keep going. The overwhelming emotions of frustration, disappointment, fear, and fatigue can make it really hard to rise and shine and face each day.  
I certainly don’t want to suggest you bypass these hard feelings. That won’t help you. In fact, that will only harm you in the long run. But, I do want to encourage you to find a way to make space to hold multiple truths and multiple layers of feelings and emotions. Life can be absolutely awful and full of beautiful moments at the same time. We experience this regularly in motherhood. And, we certainly experienced this during the pandemic.  
In the middle of your very worst day, your toddler finds a precious rock or stick and is filled with utter delight. This creates delight for you too. In the middle of a stressful season of work, your teen says, “Mom, I love you - even if I’m a jerk sometimes.” Your heart melts. In the middle of a nasty fight with a loved one, your dog or cat comes and cozies up on the couch next to you to show love and alliance. You know they always know what you need most. 
Being able to notice these little magical moments amidst the messy ones is what keeps us moving forward. In this episode, I talk you through how to use unconventional gratitude practices to get through sticky emotions.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com
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Many of my coaching clients, business and executive coaching clients alike, come to me to talk through the options that lie in front of them. Often times, it seems they are faced with two options and both have pros and cons. While the pros might look exciting, the cons are just the opposite. They can fill one with dread, if not total anxiety. 
What I have noticed time and time again is that when we think there are only two options, we are telling ourselves a little lie. The truth is, in most situations, there are more options. They just might not be as obvious. It might take some creativity, and outside influence to see that they exist. 
I was recently working with an executive coaching client who had two options in front of her. Both had some serious pros - exciting components she hadn’t seen coming. And… both had some serious cons. As we talked through which option might be the best for her right now, we both felt unsettled with each option. So, I asked her a simple question, “What would be an ideal outcome for you in this situation?” 
In talking through what she really wanted out of this situation, a third option begann to arise. As we talked through the third option, she started to get excited. She realized she could make up a third option out of the best parts of the two options that had been presented to her. We left this call with her feeling so much clarity and optimism. 
In this episode, I walk you through three questions to ask yourself when you’re on the brink of making a decision. Then, I give you three ways to dig deep to discover options that might not be immediately presenting themselves. 

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kristi Coulter is the author of the acclaimed memoirs Exit Interview: The Life and Death of My Ambitious Career and Nothing Good Can Come From This, and a finalist for the Washington State Book Award. Her writing has appeared in The Paris Review, New York Magazine/The Cut, Elle, Glamour, DAME, Big Technology, and elsewhere. She has been a guest and commentator for media outlets ranging from Kara Swisher and Scott Galloway's Pivot podcast to the Evercore Investor Forum to NPR's Live Wire Radio. Coulter has taught creative writing at the University of Washington, University of Michigan, and Hugo House. She lives in Seattle and Los Angeles.
EXIT INTERVIEW tells the story of Kristi’s twelve-year career at Amazon, where she held numerous leadership roles in an obsessively driven, punishing work culture that was particularly unfriendly to women (though not exactly great for men, either!). Her experience included thrills and exhilarating achievements along with alcohol abuse, burnout, and disillusionment. Ultimately, Kristi recognized that for her ambition to live and thrive, she would need to leave the alpha-male rigidity of Big Tech. Her story is incredible. I could not put this book down!  

Listen in to hear Kristi share:

Her deeply thoughtful and personal story of professional endurance within the “alpha-male rigidity of Big Tech”

The significance of unconscious sexism in the workplace and the impact on men and women

Her nerves around the publication of the book and what her co-workers and fellow Amazonians might think

How her ambition didn’t die when she left Amazon, but it outgrew Amazon and corporate spaces

The messaging she received around success as a Gen Xer and how she sees this shifting for younger generations

How she had to overcome people pleasing to write honestly and ethically about other people who may feel called out when reading book

What burnout looked like and how easy it was to not see it or acknowledge it

How her gray area drinking impacted her career at Amazon


Links mentioned:

Connect with Kristi: www.kristicoulter.com


Book: Exit Interview: The Life and Death of My Ambitious Career


Book: Nothing Good Can Come From This


Kristi on IG

Kristi on LinkedIn


We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am often asked, "Sara, how do I discover my passion?" It's a question typically accompanied by a sense of frustration over not having found it yet.
We're often led to believe that unless we're wholly devoted to something we're passionate about, we're squandering our time and talents. However, I propose that it's sometimes acceptable to engage in pursuits that don't ignite our passion entirely, especially if they offer security and stability—like a steady paycheck and benefits.
Of course, pursuing meaningful work that resonates with our passions and provides a sense of purpose is undeniably appealing. Additionally, the world eagerly awaits the gifts you have to offer, so withholding them would be a disservice.
So, how do you discern when to pursue your passions? How do you identify the endeavor you want to pursue passionately? And when is the right moment to pivot or make a strategic shift?
For 20+ years, I've dedicated considerable effort to building businesses centered around work that deeply resonates with me—work that fills me with purpose. However, there have also been times, even seasons, when I've found myself in less-than-thrilling situations as I strategically plotted my next move. In this episode, I'll recount a few examples to illustrate what this process looks like in reality.
Whether you're contemplating a pivot or shift right now or crafting a five-year plan toward your purpose, I've got you covered. This episode will give you great insight.

Link mentioned:
Interested in Business Coaching with Sara? Email us at info@shamelessmom.com with the subject line: Business Coaching and we will send you details on Sara’s 6 month One-on-One Business & Coaching Package! 

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor
Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices