Teenage Kicks Podcast Helen Wills

The big question in this episode is whether or not to give your child a smartphone, and what's the right age for your teenager to have a smartphones. 

Ofcom research in the UK in April 2024 claims that nearly a quarter of 5-7 year olds have their own smartphones, with 65% using WhatsApp and other messaging services.

Hannah Oertel is the Founder and CEO of Delay Smartphones [https://delaysmartphones.org.uk/about/], a pioneering initiative dedicated to protecting children from the dangers of smartphones. As a therapist and intervention coach, she says she's observed a concerning rise in anxiety among clients, and didn't want her own children to have a childhood based on smartphones.

Hannah developed a non-judgmental parent-to-parent approach that empowers parents with research and alternatives, encouraging them to delay smartphone access until age 14. With Hannah's leadership, Delay Smartphones has garnered support across the UK and recently expanded into the US.

More teenage parenting from Helen Wills:

Helen wills is a teen mental health podcaster and blogger at Actually Mummy [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/], a resource for midlife parents of teens.

Thank you for listening! Subscribe [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/teenage-kicks-podcast/id1501488455] to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear new episodes. If you have a suggestion for the podcast please email h [teenagekickspodcast@gmail.com]helen@actuallymummy.co.uk.

There are already stories from fabulous guests about difficult things that happened to them as teenagers - including losing a parent [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-do-you-cope-loss-parent-when-youre-teenager-ryan/id1501488455?i=1000495564421], becoming a young carer [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/danielle-on-being-a-young-carer-for-her-alcoholic-mum/id1501488455?i=1000468538022], and being hospitalised with mental health problems [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/emma-bradley-on-being-hospitalised-mental-health-problems/id1501488455?i=1000470008123] - and how they overcame things to move on with their lives.

You can find more from Helen Wills on parenting teenagers on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] and Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] @iamhelenwills.

For information on your data privacy please visit Zencastr's policy page [https://zencastr.com/privacy-policy]

Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about yourself or a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional.

Episode produced by Malloy Podcasts [https://www.fiverr.com/malloy_podcasts?source=order_page_summary_seller_link]. 

Think of this podcast as a reframe on your teenager's risky behaviour. By the end of the episode, you'll be able to put your teen's risk-taking into context, and you'll feel much more relaxed as you go through the rollercoaster with them. 

Who is Daphne Adler?

Daphne Adler has been described as "a mother rooting for all mothers." And I think we all need one of those in our camps when it comes to the teenage years. 

Daphne has used her analytical and consulting skills to support parents in a new book Debunking Teenagers [https://debunkingteenagers.wordpress.com/]. In it, she gives us 200 research-based parenting strategies to help adolescents successfully navigate what she calls the "tempteen" years.

The book answers the questions all parents of teens have:

· Why are teenagers constantly tempted to behave recklessly, and what can parents do about it?

· Why is telling your son or daughter to "just say no" a hopelessly ineffective strategy?

· Why are teens constantly taking selfies?

· And how can you keep your child safe behind the wheel?

Other books I recommend: 

* Hold on to your kids - Gabor Maté [https://amzn.to/44N6LLP]
* The teenager in the greenhouse - [https://amzn.to/3QyfknH] Graham Ramsden

More teenage parenting from Helen Wills:

Helen wills is a teen mental health podcaster and blogger at Actually Mummy [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/], a resource for midlife parents of teens.

Thank you for listening! Subscribe [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/teenage-kicks-podcast/id1501488455] to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear new episodes. If you have a suggestion for the podcast please email teenagekickspodcast@gmail.com.

There are already stories from fabulous guests about difficult things that happened to them as teenagers - including losing a parent [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-do-you-cope-loss-parent-when-youre-teenager-ryan/id1501488455?i=1000495564421], becoming a young carer [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/danielle-on-being-a-young-carer-for-her-alcoholic-mum/id1501488455?i=1000468538022], and being hospitalised with mental health problems [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/emma-bradley-on-being-hospitalised-mental-health-problems/id1501488455?i=1000470008123] - and how they overcame things to move on with their lives.

You can find more from Helen Wills on parenting teenagers on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] and Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] @iamhelenwills.

For information on your data privacy please visit Zencastr's policy page [https://zencastr.com/privacy-policy]

Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about yourself or a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional.

We've talked a lot about anxiety [https://zencastr.com/z/aRNrH8k7] on the podcast. In this episode, Marneta Viegas talks about how "crippling" self-esteem got the better of her as a teenager. If this is you - or your child - have a listen, and find out what can be done to help teenagers relax. 

Marneta tells me about her father's sudden death when she was a teenager, and how that filled her with guilt - another self-esteem thief. 

19:20 - Strategies for improving self-esteem and helping teenagers relax

Who is Marneta Viegas?

Marneta is the founder of Relax Kids Ltd [https://relaxkids.com/] - a leading expert on children's relaxation. She has been running her relaxation programme for the last 25 years and it has helped over 5 million children at home and in school. Marneta has written 20 children's meditation books and has recorded over 500 meditation audios. She has developed a unique (award winning) 7 step method to teach children to self-regulate and manage their anxiety. Marneta's father died suddenly when she was 18, just before she went to university. I'm going to ask her about her relaxation programme, and for her tips on how – as parent's – we can help our teens learn to relax more.

More teenage parenting from Helen Wills:

Helen wills is a teen mental health podcaster and blogger at Actually Mummy [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/], a resource for midlife parents of teens.

Thank you for listening! Subscribe [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/teenage-kicks-podcast/id1501488455] to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear new episodes. If you have a suggestion for the podcast please email teenagekickspodcast@gmail.com.

There are already stories from fabulous guests about difficult things that happened to them as teenagers - including losing a parent [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-do-you-cope-loss-parent-when-youre-teenager-ryan/id1501488455?i=1000495564421], becoming a young carer [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/danielle-on-being-a-young-carer-for-her-alcoholic-mum/id1501488455?i=1000468538022], and being hospitalised with mental health problems [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/emma-bradley-on-being-hospitalised-mental-health-problems/id1501488455?i=1000470008123] - and how they overcame things to move on with their lives.

You can find more from Helen Wills on parenting teenagers on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] and Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] @iamhelenwills.

For information on your data privacy please visit Zencastr's policy page [https://zencastr.com/privacy-policy]

Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about yourself or a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional.

"Loneliness is a condition that's just as bad for you as cancer", says Dr Richard Pile, a GP and specialist in loneliness. He goes on to say that the age bracket most affected by loneliness is young adults aged 16-24. 

Loneliness at a young age can leave mental health 'scars' in the same way that physical injuries stay with us for the rest of our lives. So it's important to help our teenagers identify when they're lonely, and learn what to do about it. 

What can we do to prevent loneliness in teenagers? 

* Try to mitigate the effects of academic pressure. Richard sees a lot of teenagers who are isolating thanks to the stress of expectations from schools and ambitious families. We need to help our kids work out what makes them happy, and encourage them to spend time doing more of that.  
* Help them realise that feeling lonely at times is normal. Boredom, stress and loneliness help kids learn who they are and work out what they want to do next. It's only a problem when it's long-term. 
* Digital connection is valuable [https://zencastr.com/z/z7fMD-Rv] (especially during the pandemic) but a lot of young people got out of the habit of connecting in a physical space because of the ease of online interactions. We need to help our kids learn how to enjoy being with other people more often.
* Fight the "cult of the individual". Wellbeing comes from interdependency with friends and family - community.  

Who is Dr Richard Pile? 

Richard is an NHS GP specialising in Lifestyle Medicine and Cardiology. Outside of the surgery, his other jobs include promoting lifestyle medicine amongst the public and health professionals, training & appraisal, and being a mentor and coach.

He has written for the national press and the British Medical Journal and is the author of a book on wellbeing.

More from Richard : 

* Listen to Richard's TEDx talk on loneliness in young adults [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPsvOd-kwVU]. 
* Get Richard's book Fit For Purpose [https://amzn.to/3U7eiRz] (affiliate link)
* His website Feel Good For Life [https://feelgoodforlife.uk/]
* Other links [https://linktr.ee/DrRichardPile], including Richard's newsletter, podcast and social media

More from Helen Wills:

Helen wills is a teen mental health podcaster and blogger at Actually Mummy [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/], a resource for midlife parents of teens.

Thank you for listening! Subscribe [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/teenage-kicks-podcast/id1501488455] to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear new episodes. If you have a suggestion for the podcast please get in touch [https://actuallymummy.co.uk/about/contact/].

You can find more from Helen Wills on parenting teenagers on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] and Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] @iamhelenwills.

For information on your data privacy please visit Zencastr's policy page [https://zencastr.com/privacy-policy]

Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about yourself or a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional.

Episode produced by Michael J Cunningham [https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-j-cunningham-245586266/].

In this episode, we talk about academic pressure and the anxiety it can create for our teenagers. But more than that, we talk about FAILURE. Fear of failure, what failure really means, and how to help our teenagers when they think they've failed. 

Amelie Moore is a former language teacher who thinks it's vital that kids learn to fail. Amelie says teenagers need to know that failure is not the end of the road, and that offering a safe, non-judgmental space for them to make mistakes and reflect, is how they will learn how to reach their goals and overcome challenges in their own way.

As someone who felt overwhelmed by academic anxiety in her own teenage years, Amelie believes there's a different way to help teenagers succeed whatever their school record.

She says to teenagers listening: "You are not broken, you don't need fixing, you are amazing, unique individuals full of potential."

Get more from Amélie Moore?

* Amélie's website It's Mindcraft [https://itsmindcraft.com/] coaching

More from Helen Wills:

Helen wills is a teen mental health podcaster and blogger at Actually Mummy [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/], a resource for midlife parents of teens.

Thank you for listening! Subscribe [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/teenage-kicks-podcast/id1501488455] to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear new episodes. If you have a suggestion for the podcast please get in touch [https://actuallymummy.co.uk/about/contact/].

You can find more from Helen Wills on parenting teenagers on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] and Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] @iamhelenwills.

For information on your data privacy please visit Zencastr's policy page [https://zencastr.com/privacy-policy]

Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about yourself or a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional.

Episode produced by Michael J Cunningham [https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-j-cunningham-245586266/].

TW: Self-harm

My guest  for this episode goes by the name of That Hoarder.

As a compulsive hoarder, she says she struggles with many aspects of hoarding behaviours, which she talks about on her own podcast That Hoarder - the first ever podcast by somebody who actually hoards rather than by a professional. She started her podcast to keep herself accountable and to help others with this stigmatised and hidden condition, as well as to raise awareness of hoarding disorder.

She says that very stigma is why she does this anonymously. This is a sensationalised and shamed mental illness and speaking more openly about it is an essential way to spread the word and help people. While a lot is still not understood, she told me that there can be signs of hoarding as early as childhood or teenage years.

2:45 - People judge hoarding as being about laziness, but it's a manifestation of something else that's wrong. That's why TV shows that sensationalise the condition aren't helpful. Why clearing the space isn't helpful. 

7:00 - Seeing hoarding as a coping strategy. My guest talks about feeling "wrong at her core" and having out of control emotions. 

12:00 - Understanding what might drive self-harm. 

14:38 - Signs of hoarding in a teenager. Which hoarding symptoms begin between the ages of 10-20, before escalating in later life. 

21:00 - What might have helped prevent hoarding disorder developing?

38:00 - Why professional help is needed to help someone combat their hoarding disorder, and what kind is most helpful. 

39:25 - An effective strategy for successfully managing self-harm. 

56:00 - When is it hoarding, and when is it just a messy teenager? How can parents help a teenager who hoards?

Resources: 

* Overcoming self-harm [https://zencastr.com/z/Qyl7tr2X]
* Overcome Compulsive Hoarding podcast [https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/]
* Advice for children of hoarders [https://childrenofhoarders.com/wordpress/]
* Hoarding Disorders UK [https://hoardingdisordersuk.org/]
* Mind [https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/hoarding/about-hoarding/]

More from Helen Wills:

Helen wills is a teen mental health podcaster and blogger at Actually Mummy [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/], a resource for midlife parents of teens.

Thank you for listening! Subscribe [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/teenage-kicks-podcast/id1501488455] to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear new episodes. If you have a suggestion for the podcast please get in touch [https://actuallymummy.co.uk/about/contact/].

You can find more from Helen Wills on parenting teenagers on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] and Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] @iamhelenwills.

For information on your data privacy please visit Zencastr's policy page [https://zencastr.com/privacy-policy]

Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about yourself or a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional.

Episode produced by Michael J Cunningham [https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-j-cunningham-245586266/].