Christ-Dependent Single Motherhood: Encouragement and Hope for Christian Single Moms, Separation, Biblical Divorce, Biblical Sarah Sparrow

Forgiveness isn’t intended to be a heavy burden for those who have been deeply wronged.  Jesus’ invitation was, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you REST.” (Matthew 11:28-30)  The invitation of the Lord Jesus Christ is to come to Him and find REST for our souls!
 
Here's the definition of forgiveness: it’s a commitment by the offended to pardon graciously the repentant from moral liability, and to be reconciled — though it doesn’t mean that all consequences are necessarily eliminated.
 
What’s the hardest part of forgiveness? — To STOP THINKING about the offense; to keep going over and over it in one’s mind.  It’s a huge problem to be thinking about it, because then we’re DEFINED by the wrong committed against us.  Bitterness is like taking poison to get back at someone else.
 
By the way, this is where we need the Psalms; this is where we need the Psalter.  See Psalm 73 where Asaph is seeing how the wicked prosper, and he seems to have done the right thing for nothing.  If we move through this Psalm, it will change our world.
 
Steps to be free from bitterness and resentment after divorce, even if your husband has never repented:
 
Wait for God’s justice, and trust His providence.  Think of Joseph in Genesis: “You intended this for evil, but God intended it for good.”  This is why it’s SO CRITICAL to be in a local church with a high view of Scripture.
Listen to wise people — you need community!  And you need the community of the Redeemed. 
Pursue God’s blessing for yourself and those close to you.  Psalm 73:15 is the turning point of the chapter — “If I had said, ‘I will speak thus,’ I would have betrayed the generation of Your children.”  Also Hebrews 12:15 … “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled.”  Bitterness can poison those around us, as well as ourselves!
Call bitterness what it is — it’s sin.  It’s not justified.  We don’t have a right to be defined by anger and hatred.  One of the most difficult times to repent of our own transgressions is when we’ve been deeply wronged… it’s a dangerous place to be.  Be careful, when you’re sinned against, that you don’t fail to deal with the things you need to deal with in your own world.
 
Also important: be in a good church, hear the Word preached, meditate on JESUS — you will NOT be disappointed. 
 
Please check out Pastor Brauns' book, Unpacking Forgiveness from Crossway: https://www.crossway.org/books/unpacking-forgiveness-tpb/
 
Visit his website here: https://chrisbrauns.com/
 
Join our Christ-Dependent Single Motherhood Facebook community, for Christian single moms like you, whether you're divorced, separated, widowed, or never married! https://bit.ly/CDSMFacebook
 
Send us a note at christdependentsinglemoms@gmail.com
 
 
 
 
 

Forgiveness isn’t intended to be a heavy burden for those who have been deeply wronged.  Jesus’ invitation was, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you REST.” (Matthew 11:28-30)  The invitation of the Lord Jesus Christ is to come to Him and find REST for our souls!
 
Our culture has fundamentally misunderstood forgiveness — we tend to regard it in a therapeutic way, seeing it as a private coping strategy for resentment and anger.  “Forgiveness is something you do for your own benefit,” some say  — but that’s not biblical forgiveness.
 
Forgiveness is not an emotional strategy; it’s a commitment by the offended to pardon graciously the repentant from moral liability, and to be reconciled — though it doesn’t mean that all consequences are necessarily eliminated.
 
What  do we do when the offense is grave, as in marriages that end in separation or divorce, and the offender does not display true repentance?  Pastor Brauns offers these principles:
 
Proactively show love — in abusive situations, how this will work out needs the wisdom of the local church.  Don’t do this alone!  There is such a great need for the community of the redeemed; we need that protection.  We do NOT put ourselves in a position to be abused further.  This showing of love will be situation-specific.
Take no revenge — "Never take your own revenge, beloved" (Romans 12:19), but
"Leave room for the wrath of God"— “Vengeance is Mine; I will repay,” says the Lord.  We can trust God to see that justice is done.
 
Also, look at Psalm 37 and Psalm 73 when battling bitterness.  We're going to come back next week to revisit this topic!
 
Please check out Pastor Brauns' book, Unpacking Forgiveness from Crossway: https://www.crossway.org/books/unpacking-forgiveness-tpb/
 
Visit his website here: https://chrisbrauns.com/
 
Join our Christ-Dependent Single Motherhood Facebook community, for Christian single moms like you, whether you're divorced, separated, widowed, or never married! https://bit.ly/CDSMFacebook
 
Send us a note at christdependentsinglemoms@gmail.com
 
 
 

I’m going to be completely honest, I almost didn’t want to talk about what I’m going to talk about today.
 
A big reason is because this has been such a hard lesson for me to learn.  It has taken so much for me to let go of this issue and leave it in God's hands.
 
I have wanted, for many years, to retain control of work and money and material provision when it came to taking care of my family following separation and divorce as a Christian single mom. 
 
But what I have found is that when I have tried, by applying my human wisdom, to almost prayerlessly control my work (whether it was work from home or work outside the home) and my financial circumstances, refusing to completely release these matters to the Lord, things have gone so poorly.  
 
BUT, when God brought me to the place where I recognized that he knew better than I did exactly what I needed, and that I could absolutely, unreservedly obey God's instruction to "trust in the Lord with all your heart," (Proverbs 3:5-6) to provide for all my needs according to his riches in glory as Philippians 4:19 says, and when I began to affirm my trust in his provision day by day, literally just praying, “I trust in you Lord. I am looking to you to provide the income I need. Please show me the way. I rest in you.” … I have seen a huge weight lifted off and I have seen the faithfulness of Jehovah Jireh in a way that I have never seen before!  Will God provide?  A thousand times, yes!
 
So let’s talk about this matter — can we trust our heavenly Father to provide for us financially? (HINT: YES) Praying you are edified by these devotional thoughts!
 
Scriptures quotes in this episode:
2 Corinthians 9:8
Matthew 6:31-32
Matthew 6:33
Psalm 34:10
Philippians 4:6
James 1:5
Colossians 3:23-24
Psalm 139:16
 
Join our Christ-Dependent Single Motherhood Facebook community, for Christian single moms like you, whether you're divorced, separated, widowed, or never married! https://bit.ly/CDSMFacebook
 
Send us a note at christdependentsinglemoms@gmail.com
 
 
 
 
 

Six Biblical Truths About Loneliness That Help You Apply Proverbs 3:5-6, And Trust In The Lord With All Your Heart In Separation, Divorce, Or Widowhood: A Devotional For Christian Single Moms
 
Hey! As I prayed about what to discuss this week, it was strongly on my heart to talk about learning to trust God with our futures, especially a future that may be filled with loneliness due to being single.
 
I know you’re going to be blessed by being reminded of what God says in his word regarding loneliness, and there are a few related books I’d really like to share with you that have had a big impact on me. 
 
In fact, we’re doing a giveaway this month of these three books as a bundle in a drawing for people who share a written review of our podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or any one of the podcasting platforms, then screenshot their written review, and post it in our Christ-Dependent Single Motherhood Facebook Group.
 
The first book in the bundle is Elisabeth Elliot’s Suffering is Never for Nothing, the second is Mark Vroegop’s book, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, which explores biblical lament, and the third is Unpacking Forgiveness by Pastor Chris Brauns.  I highly recommend reading all three of these books if you want to be encouraged in your experience of suffering!
 
My friends, being on your own as a single mother is painful and dark at times. But remember that you’re not alone in your loneliness, God hasn’t abandoned you, God knows the longings of your heart, God is always with you, God has a plan for your loneliness, and he will give you the strength to endure, exactly one day at a time.
 
Join our Christ-Dependent Single Motherhood Facebook community, for Christian single moms like you, whether you're divorced, separated, widowed, or never married! https://bit.ly/CDSMFacebook
 
Send us a note at christdependentsinglemoms@gmail.com

Hi there! I can’t believe it’s September already. This year is definitely flying by. In honor of this new fall season, where most of us are watching the weather and the landscape start change, and people are getting back to school or homeschooling, we are offering a fall giveaway!  The book bundle that we’re offering is Elisabeth Elliot’s book, Suffering is Never for Nothing, Chris Brauns’ Unpacking Forgiveness— by the way, Pastor Brauns is going to be joining us on the podcast in a few weeks, very excited about that— and the third book is Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy by Mark Vroegop, which we discussed on episodes 9 and 10, when we were talking about biblical lament with Ryan Higginbottom.  I know that all three of these books are going to be as much of a blessing to you as they have been to me, so if you’d like to be entered in in the drawing, go ahead and leave us a written review over on Apple podcasts or the podcasting platform of your choice. Take a screenshot of that written review and post it in our Facebook group Christ-Dependent Single Motherhood!
 
Apple podcast reviewers will get 2 entries, and all the other podcast platform reviews will get one entry. You can leave a written review for us on as many podcast platforms as you like! And if you’ve already done one, you can write a review on others - that’s totally fine!  Now, this is just for the month of September, so write those reviews now if you want a chance to get these excellent books for free!
 
Last week we had Kelli Russell with us, talking about what the Bible says about narcissists and narcissism, and today she’s joining us again to answer this question, “How do I spot a narcissist as I prepare for dating after divorce or widowhood?” 
 
This was such a great conversation. Two of the biggest takeaways I walked away with were to bathe the whole situation thoroughly in prayer, and to refuse to walk in fear, trusting that the Lord will lead and guide as we seek Him and use His wisdom in dating.
 
This is definitely an episode to share with people you know might benefit, so go ahead and be sure to send them a link!
 
For women who have had experience with narcissistic marriages or relationships in the past, remember - the heart-work (or healing!) needs to be done in *you* before you’re ready to date, and another essential element is building a safe community around you.  God’s people in our local congregations are indispensable here.
 
Never date someone in isolation.  Bring in godly, wise people to weigh in with their opinions.  Also, look at the man’s FRUIT (Luke 6:43-46), his FAMILY relationships, his FRIEND groups, and his CHURCH community.
 
Kelli mentions Warren Lamb’s book, Behind the Veil, as a great resource: https://amzn.to/3ATrbUA
 
For counseling information from Grace Matters, Kelli Russell's biblical counseling ministry, visit https://www.gracemattersministries.org/
 
Join our Christ-Dependent Single Motherhood Facebook community, for Christian single moms like you, whether you're divorced, separated, widowed, or never married! https://bit.ly/CDSMFacebook
 
Send us a note at christdependentsinglemoms@gmail.com
 
 

What does the Bible say about these people we call “narcissists,” what do they look like, and how can abuse-informed biblical counseling help in a marriage with a narcissistic spouse?
 
Listen to this episode and learn:
 
-One of the main things you DON’T see in a narcissistic individual
 
-One of the biggest signs a woman is in a narcissistic relationship
 
-Why marriage counseling doesn’t work when you’re married to someone with narcissistic tendencies
 
More takeaways:
We want to be cautious about using the term “narcissism” in the same way secular psychology does for a couple of reasons: first, we’re dealing with people created in the image of God, and second, there is always a possibility of change in Christ.  We’re not to walk in fear or hopelessness with these people, even if we end up needing to separate from them.
 
Narcissism is what the Bible calls selfishness and pride, and it occurs on a scale.  One thing that distinguishes narcissists from your average sinner who struggles with anger, selfishness, and arrogance is an unwillingness to receive counsel— they evade counsel time and time again.
 
A person can be narcissistic without being perniciously oppressive.  Oppression is a problem with power and control; narcissists don’t always evidence a problem with power and control, but they always demonstrate an exceptionally high desire for self-protection.  They want to be seen as “having it all together,” and will do anything to protect the image of who they are.
 
So, the two things that define narcissism are not so much the degree of pride and selfishness, but the self-protection and unwillingness to receive counsel.
 
Goals for individual (NOT marital) counseling: strengthen the base of the survivor, and hold the spouse with narcissistic tendencies accountable, that they may begin to see their heart the way God sees their heart.
 
For counseling information from Grace Matters, Kelli Russell's biblical counseling ministry, visit https://www.gracemattersministries.org/
 
Join our Christ-Dependent Single Motherhood Facebook community, for Christian single moms like you, whether you're divorced, separated, widowed, or never married! https://bit.ly/CDSMFacebook
 
Send us a note at christdependentsinglemoms@gmail.com