#5: an introduction to comedy‪?‬ The ITunix Show

Hello everyone, my name is Emily and I'm a standup comedian.
I'm sure a lot of you are thinking, "What the hell does that mean?"
Well, it means I stand up on stage and make you laugh.
I'm not sure why you're all so surprised, because it's not like I'm the only one doing it.
There are other standup comedians out there, and they're all pretty damn funny.
I mean, sure, I'm not as funny as Don, but I'm still pretty damn funny.
In fact, I'm so funny, I make Don look like a goddamn amateur.
But I don't want to brag, because I'm not here to talk about me.
I'm here to talk about you.
Yes, you, the person who's thinking, "What the hell does that mean?"
You're probably wondering what you're doing here.
You're probably wondering why you're at a standup comedy show.
Well, the answer is simple.
You're here because you want to be entertained.
You're here because you want to laugh.
And that's what I'm here for.
To entertain you and to make you laugh.
So please, sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.
Thank you.