Back to the Barre Christi Lukasiak & Kelly Hyland

“You get so much accomplished without ever moving all that much. God he keeps bringing that up!” Christi and Kelly note as even the guests struggle to breath life into "Dance Moms Chatter: Part 2". Although Abby is still in LA filming Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition, she stuck around long enough for a sit down talk with Melissa, Jeff, guest comedian Alec Mapa and blogger Nadine Rajabi. But unlike last week where the producers could bring out Black Patsy and showcase drama clips in an attempt to enrage Chrisiti and Kelly into beefing, they can't go after Abby!
What remains is the guests attempting to drum up some fun with pre-scripted humor, which just can't compare to that off-the-cuff savagery of our Bitches! No attempts are made to engage with Abby's behavior or question Melissa at all. Instead we're presented with such colorful conversations as whose the worst dressed, which results in Abby somehow picking Kelly!? Even Christi will be the first to admit she dressed much worse than Kelly, and that's not even mentioning Jill!
Quotes
“And Brooke is buying for everybody at the bar. Well that’s because we have a per diem. So Brooke is like I’m buying everyone here a drink and I’m like it’s on Lifetime. Finally after all these years it’s on Lifetime!" (7:34-7:46 | Christi & Kelly)“I really, to this day, would love a download of what the rules of the Bible Game are. Exactly! I don’t know there was a Bible Game! Let’s play the Bible Game! What are the rules? I’m willing to play I just need to know the rules!” (18:11-18:29 | Christi & Kelly)“Have you ever met someone who is more observant of your face than Jill Vertes? No. Cathy always pointed out shit on our faces too. Jill took it to another level. Jill would be like, “Christi, you have one eyebrow about a third of the way in, one centimeter down that needs plucking.”’ She probably hates looking at me!” (36:33-36:59 | Christi & Kelly)“We were talking at the bar about how we knew if you had pick-ups because they made you use words that weren’t in your vocabulary. I tell you that all the time! I know it and your kids know it too. What’s with all this talking about me at the bar? Who all is there and why are you all talking about me? Listen it was fun. I’m sure it was for you.” (52:15-52:38 | Christi & Kelly)
Links
Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w 
Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre
Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510
Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak
Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"My obnoxious level in this episode escalates very quickly," notes Christi as before "Dance Moms Chatter Part 1" can even begin she's already pretty drunk. But in a rare occurrence, Christi and Kelly don't have to hide their booze in coffee cups because this week, martini glasses are out in the open! With Jeff Collins moderating it's clip-show week on Dance Moms with special guests Patsy, internet blogger Nadine Rajabi and comedian Lisa Arch. Christi is famously not a fan of these episodes as it served as little more than an excuse to get replay value out of their fights and trauma, but this week at least it appears Christi simply was too drunk. The amount of "Amen to that!" coming from Christi is enough to make anyone cringe, but especially Christi.
Segments include a Dance Moms trivia contest between the guests, with Jeff shilling out all of $10 for the winner! Plus what would a Jeff Collins hosted talk show be without some classic Jeff "comedy". We also get some quality hot-takes, like who Patsy thinks the biggest crybaby is on Dance Moms. However, do Christi and Kelly find themselves wishing they had made more of a connection with Patsy? Could she have been the ally against Abby they needed all along? Also is Kelly wearing Christi's clothes!?
Quotes
“Ok, my dress was ugly. You were wearing an ugly dress but it was my dress so it’s double ugly." (8:37-8:42 | Christi)“All of these compilations where it’s back to back… and I’m like oh my god that’s hard to watch: That’s exactly what the clip show is like. When I say the clip shows are hard for me to do it’s because that’s all it was. It was every freaking fight back to back to back. So there was no breathing in-between. It was go from one fight to the next fight and it was so aggressive.” (24:54-25:20 | Christi)“I love how foul language is Abby’s barometer for bad behavior. No you don’t use foul language, you just torture children.” (29:55-30:02 | Christi & Kelly)“And you’re like can I get an amen! What is wrong with me!? What is wrong with me? Please someone muzzle the blonde. In the Big Bird dress. It’s terrible.” (1:01:31-1:01:45 | Christi & Kelly)
Links
Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w 
Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre
Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510
Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak
Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"I could watch a 24 hour live stream of the shit that Cathy and Vivi talk about," remarks Christi as Season 3's "No Room for Rotten Apples" is another Cathy-centric episode. It's not the most eventful of affairs as the producers even included an inordinate amount of dance footage this week to compensate, but what is there is... deeply weird. For example: Cathy puts Vivi in charge of cataloguing her entire collection of ceramic bunnies. Why? Who knows!
Cathy introduces The Apple Tree, her Cathy-themed replacement for Pyramid, and Jalen and Mari are squarely at the bottom. If they don't shape up during this week's competition in Columbus, Cathy is threatening to remove one of them from the team. Why does she need to cut anyone though? She has an ideal seven kids to match Abby, is this a production developed conflict? To make the conflict extra needless, Cathy insists that Jalen perform his first contemporary and triple pirouette, something Jalen isn't remotely ready to pull off. The undue extra attention on Jalen's teaching starts to upset Mari's mother, who is worried her daughter will be comparatively unprepared for her solo. It's up to Anthony to prep them both, but the best he can do is give Mari a literal panic attack!
Meanwhile Abby continues filming for Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition, bringing Maddie out to LA to perform a solo. But where is the rest of the ALDC? Tune-in to find out how Maddie really ended up solo.
Quotes
“Paige heard [the crew] talking about Menage a Trois’ and Paige was like ‘Oh my mom loves that.’” She meant the wine, they meant something else." (6:05-6:15 | Kelly)“On her podcast, Abby said something nice about Kelly and I. Now guys, there was a freaking solar eclipse this week, so clearly everything is out of alignment.” (18:20-18:30 | Christi)“[Anthony] says that she hired him because of his resume so she needs to let him work. I’m pretty sure that she didn’t hire him. Well he’s related to Jimmy Chriss. WHAT?! I did not know that. How do you know that? Because I hate the guy.” (51:46-52:07 | Christi & Kelly)“Poop turds?! I’m like who’s poop turds?! And then she’s always on us about being classless and I’m like you just said the word poop turds on national television, and now I’ve said poop turds on our podcast 87 times. ” (1:07:08-1:07:21 | Christi)
Links
Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w 
Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre
Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510
Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak
Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this special episode of Back to the Barre, Christi and Kelly invite you to join them live from Mom's Weekend at Ohio University for a moderated Q&A in front of a nearly 1000 person crowd! With so many great questions from both the moderators and the audience, it only seemed fit to share them with our little Bitchettes as we're certain you've all been dying to ask some of these questions yourself! Like what do Christi and Kelly think of the Jojo Siwa rebranding? Do they care about the Jojo Siwa rebranding? Do they even really know Jojo Siwa? There are also many non-Jojo Siwa related questions that are certain to spill the tea you're searching for.
Quotes
“I just want everyone in this room to realize that we understand that Dance Moms would never be made today and the things I said on national television would not fly, ok? We apologize. We know that. We understand that it's problematic on many levels. Ok, you're the ones who keep replaying it." (7:09-7:27 | Christi & Kelly)“We knew that we could get mad at each other and that it was going to be ok. I think we all felt that way, all the moms on the show. Like we would fight with Melissa and everybody's like how does Melissa even talk to you guys, you were so mean? It's like if you have a sister. You fight with your sister and you hate her one second, but then like the next day you're going to be best buddies.” (22:21-22:45 | Christi & Kelly)“It was a top secret thing. Even the crew didn't know I was coming back!... If you ask the moms you know what they thought that they were waiting for? They thought they were waiting for a cake. There like we thought we were getting a cake because we won.” (36:34-37:01 | Christi)“Oh my god The Amazing Race. I actually applied for Kelly and I to be on The Amazing Race. I probably would have died. We would have both died!” (51:50-51:59 | Christi & Kelly)
Links
Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w 
Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre
Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510
Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak
Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“You were in Aruba and I had to work on my vacation, so I deserved a coffee cup,” Kelly says as she reflects on how unfair it was that even though the moms were ostensibly promised time off while Abby was filming Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition, she still got stuck being a stooge for the production this week while Christi enjoyed some R&R. Season 3's "An Apple a Day Keeps Abby Away" doesn't quite shake the ALDC entirely, but it's a Candy Apples centric episode this week as the producers see if Cathy might be able to sustain her own spin-off (spoilers she didn't).
The episode begins with Abby in Los Angeles searching for a new location for her LA studio. Not content to leave the moms with nothing to do, she send Kelly, Jill and Holly to spy on Cathy's team in order to see what she's up to. Cathy meanwhile is bringing on new talent to try and round out her team with recruits Hadley Walts, Mari Dudash and Campbell Reynolds. We also see the return of Nicaya and Black Patsy, who are ready to go toe to toe with the ALDC once more. It's a volatile mix of people that the producers hope will lead to some drama, or at the very least Black Patsy assaulting Jill's nose?
Quotes
“Yes, I think Maddie and Mackenzie would follow you [Abby] to LA because you’re looking out for them! I don’t think we’d even be asked. Wait, last week you sabotaged my daughter at a local dance competition and you think I’m going to go to LA with you and trust you? Ok!" (24:57-25:15 | Christi & Kelly)“If anybody is going to get my little girl known and get the doors open for her it’s Cathy. Ooorrr maybe it’s Dance Moms. I mean it’s just a guess. Just a thought. Yeah I’m thinking it’s Dance Moms.” (32:22-32:36 | Christi & Kelly)“Well we’re all talking about Abby abandoning her studio in Pittsburgh but that’s all she ever wanted. Yeah I don’t know why she ever started one there. You have a point. You know like she never wanted to be there; she was always like she should be in New York or LA and training people to be on Broadway and all that. Like I don’t know why she stayed in Pittsburgh so long.” (51:07-51:31 | Christi & Kelly)“I just need to point out that not everyone missed Abby. I didn’t miss her at all. I didn’t miss her at all either. I’m sure my kids didn’t either. ” (1:23:56-1:24:03 | Christi & Kelly)
Links
Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w 
Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre
Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510
Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak
Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.