28 episodes

Most people haven't read the whole bible, we think you should so we're doing it for you! The hosts are overqualified, Ones mom is a famous prophet and evangelist the other hasn't even cracked the cover. Start at the beginning or jump into the middle! New episodes released every Monday.

Bible Beater‪s‬ Canada Comedy

    • Comedy Interviews
    • 4.8 • 44 Ratings

Most people haven't read the whole bible, we think you should so we're doing it for you! The hosts are overqualified, Ones mom is a famous prophet and evangelist the other hasn't even cracked the cover. Start at the beginning or jump into the middle! New episodes released every Monday.

    Harbor Freight J’s (1 Kings 15 -16)

    Harbor Freight J’s (1 Kings 15 -16)

    Ep169 (1 Kings 15 -16) Me and my homies talk about revisiting old movies that you thought were good but are actually just a premake of a newer movie with the same characters and the drug trips are fake af. The Jewish civil war continues even after the death of King Jeroboam. Caleb makes a huge mistake and has to apologize. Nadab takes the throne and does some bad stuff. He is assassinated two years into his kingship. This somehow prompts Kyle to talk about Jesus’ blue balls. Baasha takes the throne and guess what he does? That’s right makes god so angry he lets it happen for 22 years. Please send us emails Caleb promises to be nicer but Kyle is an angry man.

    • 1 hr 22 min
    I Thought We Were Friends (1 Kings 15)

    I Thought We Were Friends (1 Kings 15)

    Ep168 (1 Kings 15) It’s Caleb’s birthday so everyone gets handjob because we are close buddies. We get into the reign of Asa no not the pornstar. Asa has a civil war with the Jeroboam in the north. Unfortunately all the details are recorded in another book which we do not have access to. This leads to a long debate on biblical interpretation and what parts of the book are necessary. We talk about Austin 3:16 and Jake the Snake Robert’s coming to Caleb’s church. There is a BIG announcement at the end.

    • 1 hr 13 min
    If You Can Read This… (1 Kings 14)

    If You Can Read This… (1 Kings 14)

    Ep16 (1 Kings 14) Happy Valentines day dipshits. We reinvestigate the story of Steve and Larry the lying prophet and how this relates to biblical interpretation. So king Jeroboam’s kid gets sick. The king tells his wife to don a disguise and go visit a blind prophet. Why she needs a disguise for blind man we will never know. The lord sees through the disguise and give a terrible warning that her son will die and god will smite the kingdom and sends her back to her husband. Yahweh kills the boy but then doesn’t follow up on any of his other threats. The boys have make an announcement.

    • 1 hr 14 min
    Here Comes The Bride (1 Kings 13)

    Here Comes The Bride (1 Kings 13)

    Ep166 (1 Kings 13) Caleb has had his balls removed. In Bible times, king Jeroboam is worshipping cows will nilly so god sends a man from Judah to put a stop to it. The man uses his god powers to wither the king’s hand and then restore it. The king tries to repay the jesus wizard with food but for some inexplicable reason god says no way Jose. Then, a second prophet comes along and tricks the man from judah into eating. Of course, god is pissed and sends a lion to maul the man from Judah to death. The priesthood adds a bunch of new members. It’s all very confusing.

    • 49 min
    Jeroboam Rehoboam

    Jeroboam Rehoboam

    Ep165 (1 Kings 12) Kyle gets beat down worse than Connor Macgregor. Solomon has died and the Kingdom is passed to his son Rehoboam. His first order of business is to tell all his dad’s advisors to go fuck themselves and hire his buddies. Next, he tells his subjects that the beatings will continue until morale improves. Morale hits rock bottom and there is a rebellion under the similarly named Jeroboam. Jeroboam realizes that he does not have god on his side so he does the next best thing... makes new god’s out of gold in the shape of a baby cow. It totally works. We get into flat earth and its correlations to anti-Semitism.

    • 1 hr 23 min
    Justice B***r (1 Kings 11)

    Justice B***r (1 Kings 11)

    Ep 164 (1 Kings 11) Much like christ, the Lord of Hosts has been forsaken by his father. The King of Tardness finds this hilarious and bullies him. 3000 years ago Solomon has finished notching his bed post for the literal thousandth time. Dem asses makes Solomon worship the wrong god(s) by accident and this really enrages yaweh. He’s so mad that he punishes Solomons children for it but Solomon gets to do whatever he wants. My justice b***r can’t get any harder. Solomon dies and they don’t bother writing down any more things he did. A listener thinks has some notes for us.

    • 1 hr 17 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
44 Ratings

44 Ratings

A Page from Paige ,

You’ll Laugh

You’ll either be giggling or pleasantly offended by something one of these two say! Recommend 10/10!

felted sheep ,

The Greatest Story Ever Told

Came for the Bible, stayed for the sacrilege. I love tuning in to hear two men, who clearly both love and hate each other, have a non academic discourse on the Bible, feminism, and comedy.

Djsolimene ,

The Only Podcast People Should Be Listening To

I searched high and low for a podcast where I could learn more about the Bible. Then I found this. As an academic historian I was thrilled and relieved to know that there was a podcast that combined knowledge about the Bible with historical, political and comedic commentary. There’s nothing more Canadian, wholesome and good-hearted than this enlightening podcast.

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