64 episodes

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey explores the glorious and unique language of football: the words, the phrases, the mannerisms and, above all, the clichés

Football Cliches - A show about the language of footbal‪l‬ The Athletic

    • Soccer
    • 5.0 • 4 Ratings

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey explores the glorious and unique language of football: the words, the phrases, the mannerisms and, above all, the clichés

    Dominik Diamond on match-going priests, training ground bust-ups and the state of footballer's socks

    Dominik Diamond on match-going priests, training ground bust-ups and the state of footballer's socks

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by TV and radio presenter and former GamesMaster host Dominik Diamond for another edition of 'Mesut Haaland Dicks'.
    Dominik waxes lyrical about ticket-touting priests in Barcelona, 10-year-old matchday gangsters in Glasgow, hilariously polite Canadian soccer fans and how he was partly responsible for David "Calamity" James' Liverpool blunders.
    Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel discuss who Line of Duty's DI Steve Arnott supports, rate Gary Neville's Andy Gray impression out of 10, and wonder why "training-ground bust-up" has become so enshrined in the language of football.
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    • 1 hr 18 min
    The Sunday League XI

    The Sunday League XI

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker celebrate the return of grassroots football by taking a voyage through the classic Sunday League lineup, an XI of precious goalkeepers, dutiful right-backs, reluctant left-backs, chatty centre-halves, spherical but untouchable midfield playmakers and The Big Man Up Front.
    They also examine the anatomy of every half-time Sunday League team talk ever, why the words "All day!" can ruin an entire weekend, and the most important skill of all: getting yourself a lift home afterwards.
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    • 1 hr 26 min
    Getting "in and around" with Doc Brown

    Getting "in and around" with Doc Brown

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by rapper, comedian, actor and writer Ben Bailey Smith, aka Doc Brown, for another edition of 'Mesut Haaland Dicks'.
    Among the things Ben can finally get off his chest are weirdly old-fashioned football chants, the pure joy of Ian Wright and a deep, deep dive into the mandatory punditry phrase that is "in and around".
    Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel also explore Martin Tyler's obsession with "the Croydon De Bruyne", a very peculiar pronunciation of "Cantona" and poor Joe Hart's post-match Instagram hell.
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    • 1 hr 15 min
    Pele, Zlatan and the small matter of global thermonuclear war

    Pele, Zlatan and the small matter of global thermonuclear war

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller convene for an extended meeting of the Adjudication Panel, in which they try and untangle the statistical chaos of Pele vs Cristiano Ronaldo, celebrate the phrase “basement boys” and decide which footballing things would survive a nuclear apocalypse.
    They also decide if anyone has the patience for a summer of “Zlatan” at the Euros, ponder the age-old clichés of retired footballers, before Charlie and Nick go head-to-head in the first edition of new quiz format “Out of Control”.
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    • 55 min
    Tom Rosenthal on World Cup balls and celebrating goals that didn't actually go in

    Tom Rosenthal on World Cup balls and celebrating goals that didn't actually go in

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Jack Pitt-Brooke are joined by actor and comedian Tom Rosenthal for the latest edition of 'Mesut Haaland Dicks'.
    Tom's gloriously niche picks for his loves and hates of modern football include teams wearing emergency kit combinations, the humiliation of celebrating goals that don't actually go in, and fans who shout futile tactical advice from the stands.
    Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel also discuss whether commentators should be allowed to mention rival broadcasters during a game and whether there can ever be such a thing as "textbook trademark header"
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    • 1 hr 11 min
    Expected goals and the unexpected sounds of empty stadiums

    Expected goals and the unexpected sounds of empty stadiums

    The Athletic's Adam Hurrey and Charlie Eccleshare are joined by the Mirror's chief football writer John Cross for the latest edition of 'Mesut Haaland Dicks'.
    John's picks for his loves and hates of modern football include eavesdropping on the mundane chats of substitutes, the eternal magic™ of the FA Cup, glorious retro football TV shows and a deep dive into why commentators keep using the word "footrace".
    Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel also decide which young England starlet's career should be doomed to failure by selecting him in a speculative 2030 World Cup XI and select the most perfect few seconds of that Sky Sports stand-off between Jamie Redknapp and Roy Keane
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    • 1 hr 16 min

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