13 episodes

“I still love him and I miss him.” Losing the thing you are most sure of and coming out the other side - a story about life, love and loss. A 12-part memoir by Sophie Townsend.

Goodbye to All This BBC

    • Personal Journals
    • 4.8 • 32 Ratings

“I still love him and I miss him.” Losing the thing you are most sure of and coming out the other side - a story about life, love and loss. A 12-part memoir by Sophie Townsend.

    12. Moving

    12. Moving

    He’s still here all the time. Yet he’s not. And a diary has more in it than expected.
    “I’ll feel his absence every day, like a bruise that’s tender to the touch.”
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 32 min
    11. The shoe

    11. The shoe

    “She hates me going into her room”. A pink, strappy, high-heeled shoe causes a big row. The girls are growing up – fast. And now Sophie is crying over a shoe.
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 19 min
    10. Appointment

    10. Appointment

    The washing machine breaks. The bills are mounting. Sophie almost electrocutes herself. And just as it couldn’t get any worse, it’s raining and there’s nowhere for the delivery men to park. Now she is going to be late for her appointment.
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 24 min
    9. Something new

    9. Something new

    “You’ll never find anyone if you’re not online.” Sophie is ready to start dating again but finds it’s done differently now. She meets a man who likes her shoes.
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 29 min
    8. Going under

    8. Going under

    “Mama, I can’t get to you!” There’s unexpected danger on a holiday, when the family is swept out to sea in Byron Bay, Australia.
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 31 min
    7. Port in the storm

    7. Port in the storm

    “His death is nothing like the worst thing. The worst thing is now.” Sophie is struggling after Russell’s death. Everyone is trying to help, but is saying the wrong thing – except one person, who knows what it’s like because his wife has died.
    A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.

    • 25 min

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5
32 Ratings

32 Ratings

RGM65 ,

Thank you Sophie

So beautiful and gut wrenching.

nanerador ,

Honest and moving

A beautiful true story about navigating life before and after the death of a husband and father.

@susanspokenword ,

Close to Home

When I stumbled across this podcast, I was immediately drawn into it, and couldn’t wait until the next episode was released on Sundays. Little did I know that less than a month ago, my soulmate and sister would be diagnosed with a rare and very aggressive cancer, and as we speak, she is in hospital making plans for palliative care. Her town is on lockdown because of COVID, so I can’t even go to her. I found this podcast strangely comforting, as I am reminded I will someone get through this. I have no idea how I will live without her. But I will find a way. I listened to the final episode just now, and will miss it.

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