Homeschool Mama Self-Care: Nurturing the Nurturer Teresa Wiedrick

“The Charge” by Brendon Burchard explores how individuals can activate their passion, purpose, and drive to live a more fulfilling and charged life, providing practical strategies for personal growth.







I want to incorporate the concepts from The Charge so you can live the charged homeschool mom life too!







In “The Charge”, Brendon Burchard argues that the only way to improve the quality of your life measurably is to learn how to activate the ten drives that make you human.







These drives are your desires for more control, competence, congruence, caring, connection, change, challenge, creative expression, contribution, and consciousness.







Also, these drives shape everything you think, feel, and do in life, so understanding and mastering them is critical to your success and happiness.







Strategically activating these drives consistently is the fastest path to living the charged homeschool mom life.

















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Sometime in January, our home power was out for a few hours. (This isn’t unusual during a snowstorm in the mountains where I live; in fact, sometimes this isn’t unusual in mid-summer with above-ground electricity and 100-feet coniferous trees).







Back in January, we dug out the candles, reminded ourselves how much stored water we didn’t have on hand, and my husband made grilled cheese on the natural gas single burner on our verandah.







I discovered what an enjoyable evening it was without the “buzz” of electricity and artificial lights. 







Naturally, I read, of course, I always read;) But I read by candlelight. Charming.







Later, when I got bored, I kidnapped my 15-year-old son’s cellular and we watched Netflix for an hour in front of the lit Christmas tree (yeah, well, not lit because no electricity, but the tree was still up).







It was delightful. 







Why am I sharing this with you? Because it was a powerful recharge evening.







WITHOUT sensory stimulation.







I highly recommend turning off all the lights, dishwasher, dryer, and your tree lights (ha, I’ll assume your tree is no longer up now in April) and discovering the quiet (oh, and the desire to go to bed at 7:30, ha). It was a retreat from the charge of electricity.







In our homeschool mom lives, though, we don’t want the electricity to go out.







We don’t want to lose our verve, our energy, our charge, because we have stuff to do.







Ultimately, we want to make this a meaningful life filled with interesting learning opportunities and Instagram-worthy memories. We want to enjoy it. And we want fuel to continue feeling fully alive, purposeful, and present in each of our days.

















In our homeschool mom lives, though, we don’t want the electricity to go out. We don’t want to lose our verve, our energy, our charge. We have stuff to do. We want to make this a meaningful life filled with interesting learning opportunities and Instagram-worthy memories.

In a world that teaches conformity, I hope to imprint uniqueness and individuality in my children.







Our children were created and designed for a unique purpose. And so were we.







So how do you become more you as a homeschool mama?

















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How to become more you beyond your role as a homeschool mama?







We get to be more us and our kids get to become more them.







How to unearth that unique purpose in our children?







We give our children experiences to explore, we give them books to engage their curiosities, we give them tools to discover their interests, we search for people who might mentor them, and we listen and watch them.







We affirm them and we guide them; we give all these opportunities to our kids.







And one thing we do, encourage them to be more them.







Life’s not better because we try to be someone else or try to be just like everyone else.







Each of us is inherently important and valuable. So our unique approach to life, our unique purpose, how our homeschool will look, and how we engage everything will look different.

















“To be yourself, in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson





























I must encourage myself to be me too.







Just as I affirm my children in what they were meant to do and be, I also recognize that I need to do the same for myself: I must be who I am and do the things I was meant to do.







In the beginning years, I didn’t know this truth: I am not only a homeschool mama.







So, who am I outside my homeschool mama identity?







I’ll tell you a few interests I’ve followed over my homeschool years, but I know that my interests and your interests might be as far from one another as Asia to America.









* Began writing in a lowly Starbucks every Wednesday evening for two hours with a pumpkin spice latte and scone.







* Designed a home on a big piece of construction paper. (I have been doing this since I was a little girl.)







* Researched laying hens and raised three batches.







* Researched meat birds and raised eleven (put eleven in the freezer last weekend).







* Didn’t research Large Guardian Dogs, but bought one anyway. (Should have researched her, Violet, our Great Pyr.)







* Built a vegetable garden, and fruit orchard, and learned to forage and preserve.







* Built a bed & breakfast business and opened last summer. (Learned that I love interacting with new people and sharing our peaceful homestead.)







* Researched goats and hope to, one day, bring a few home.







* Started an online homeschool coaching program as I love to encourage and empower homeschool mamas to do their thang. (Cause I believe if you want to do it, you can do it!)

Are you ready to press pause on your homeschool mom life, on the busyness of your daily homeschool, housework, and driving routines, and instead of racing to check off boxes before summer gardens invite you outdoors, take cues from the great outdoors, honour and acknowledge the shifting seasons—and honour and acknowledge a seasonal shift in your homeschool mom life too?







Picture this: a serene retreat where you can slow things down, breathe, create a space to spend time with you, to notice how this past homeschool year has been for you, to assess how you feel, to clarify your plan to address your big emotions, your needs, your interests, and your relationships; to clarify how it’s been working for your kids, to get clear on the next best steps for them, to reimagine your homeschool; a time away where you can refresh your strategies for nourishing your mind, your body, and your spirit.







I invite you to the 2024 Homeschool Mom Retreat—a virtual weekend retreat designed exclusively for the extraordinary women who wear the hat of educator, nurturer, and guide: you! It’s time to prioritize your, homeschool mama. 🌿✨







In this homeschool mom retreat, you can get away, take a breather, and dig deep into the things that are keeping you from enjoying the full charms of your homeschool so you can show up on purpose in your homeschool days.

















Get the free Homeschool Mama Mini-Retreat





































Dear Homeschool Mama,







This is the first of its kind: a virtual homeschool mom retreat to help lead you to take care of yourself.







In this retreat, you can get away, take a breather, and dig deep into the things that are driving your homeschool & your life.







(The things you likely don’t see at the surface).







…So you can show up on purpose in your homeschool & life.







In this retreat, I share the path I’ve taken to help me nurture myself, so I can help you nurture you so you can nurture those you homeschool.









* I share the most important self-care strategy, taking care of your thoughts.







* I help you grapple with and overcome your doubts about your homeschool choice.







* Also, I offer you ten simple self-care strategies to incorporate into your regular homeschool days.









If you want clarity, confidence, and vision in your homeschool & your life, set aside time to nurture you.





























Somewhere in my third-year homeschooling, I was done.







In my heart, I was mouthing the words “help me” as the school bus drove by.







I found myself reacting to kids’ squabbles or perpetually irritated that a child wouldn’t show interest in her studies, by saying, “If you don’t…then you’re getting on that bus Monday morning.”







I knew I didn’t actually want to research the local school’s telephone number, but I definitely didn’t know what else to do.







But I was done.









* I didn’t have time for myself.







* a href="https://capturingthecharmedlife.

I have the privilege of learning from so many homeschool mamas as I walk alongside them to encourage them & help them show up on purpose in their homeschools (& lives).







Join me in welcoming Britt Acciavatti, an eclectic homeschooler of three kids, who values nature, connection, intuition, presence, and play, and writes homeschool love notes to herself.

















Get your You Be You Checklist to become more you































So let’s chat with Britt Acciavatti, an eclectic homeschool mama of 3 kiddos.







Tell me when and why you began homeschooling.







When Covid hit and we entered the summer of decisions, I came across a Facebook post of an acquaintance sharing her plan to homeschool for the upcoming school year. I had an instant intuitive hit, a yes, this is right for us, so we gave it a go. We are 3 years into our adventure, and it’s by far been the most transformative decision we’ve made together as a family. My kids are now 5, almost 8, and 9.







What keeps you homeschooling?







Aside from the major one of giving us more time together as a family, the thing that keeps us homeschooling is the clear evidence of how beneficial it’s been for our kids.







We’ve been able to witness the unique ways each of our children is blooming.







At home, they have the space and freedom to be themselves, to discover who they are, what they like, and what feels important to them. The kids have the chance to have more agency and autonomy over their days. They’re able to nurture their strengths and process their challenges without rejection, shame, or ridicule to contend with. The relationship they have with themselves, each other, and with my husband, Tom, and I, feel like the most important and solid foundation for them to build upon.







Also, I truly enjoy that magic of being with them and learning with them all the time.





























Tell me about your greatest challenge.







It’s a combo pack: worry and fear.







And that would be my answer even if we weren’t homeschooling. It’s a constant practice to stay open, to trust the process, and to see what’s actually in front of me and meet the moment.







What are your top 5 self-care strategies?







a. Mindfulness and therapy for self-awareness, which lets me know when I need a break. But do I always listen? I hope to continue improving by heeding the call!







b. Self-compassion, a practice I’ve learned in therapy. I can’t effectively care for myself if I am constantly berating myself. Self-compassion is a prerequisite for being able to receive self-care and not just “do” it.







c. Yoga and meditation. Yes, really. I feel so well cared for and at peace after I give myself time for this. I used to practice every day, often twice a day. It’s easy for me to slip out of this habit, and I’ve slowly been making more space for it because it’s that transformative for me.







d. Researching and learning something new just for me. That included cooking, baking, gardening, and sewing.







e.

Laughing off homeschool mama guilt: can it be done?







I have a hard time laughing off parenting fails (said every homeschool mom, but definitely me).







But when I shared a genuine parenting failure with a friend, she laughed. She laughed!

















Get your Big Emotions Audit to clarify that guilt & get clear on your next step































I knew my heart was safe with her because she didn’t see my parenting fail as I did.







I also knew her well enough that I knew she would agree: I didn’t approach my child the right way. (The combination of the two made her laugh seem all the more surprising!) So how to deal with homeschool mama guilt?







My friend’s laugh wasn’t a laugh of mockery.







What I heard in her laugh, and what I learned afterward from her, was that I surprised her because it didn’t strike her that I would approach my child like THAT.







(Even I surprised MYSELF in my parenting fail moment. Welcome to parenting! You don’t do as you thought you would do before you were a parent.)







Her laugh spoke to me: “Relax, you made a mistake. Oh well! Your ineffective parenting strategy was not a sign that you should self-condemn, heaping tons of mama guilt onto yourself. Accept your reality: you’re a human, also a parent. You’ll make mistakes.”







ps Want to know how to deal with THOSE homeschool days?

















Grab your Homeschool Mama Daily Affirmations





















Instead of focusing on your past mistakes, focus on what you’re becoming, homeschool mama.















So how do we deal with homeschool mama guilt?







Being honest in moments of parental indiscretion keeps us humble (& also keeps us from judging other parents, because we know we’re not in a special league).







I might be Mother Teresa (Teresa is my first name, ha), but I’ll never live up to the perception of that icon. (Just ask my kids, wait, on the other hand, don’t.)







So when a different mama shared her guilty feelings with me: that she wasn’t measuring up (a gentle mom who stops to chat with her child whenever her child enters the room, answers questions with patience, doesn’t seem to get annoyed by the noise of her children playing loudly), and she suggests she’s probably not spending enough time playing games with her kids, I quickly tell her not to buy into mama guilt.







Guilt doesn’t propel us to make useful choices.







We’re more likely to hide when we allow ourselves to be consumed by guilt. We’re less likely to make intentional choices and shift in a healthier direction.







And that’s actually what we NEED to do when we’re making a parenting choice that makes us feel guilty.







Yes, we all have reasons to feel guilty.

Straight up, I can offer help for homeschool moms in this one thought: we homeschool mamas need to treat ourselves as kindly as we want to treat our kids.







(Because we can’t practice compassion toward our kids if we’re not practicing it toward ourselves.)







How do you address self-criticism, self-judgment, not good enough, or perfectionist tendencies as a homeschool mama?







Real help for homeschool moms starts from the ground up: dealing with our mindsets and emotions and building self-compassion techniques into our real homeschool mom life.

















Get the FREE Class for Self-Compassion for Homeschool Moms





































You could, on one hand, not address those emotions at all.







You could do the opposite of self-compassion for the homeschool mama:









* just beat yourself up, make yourself feel bad,







* remind yourself how horrible your parenting really is,







* or at the very least, remember that you are a wee bit incompetent or incapable.









Or, you could address that nasty mean person in your head saying all those things and declare, thanks, but no thanks, I’ve got to learn a new way to speak to myself.







How do I propose that you do that though?







(It’s hard to get yourself out of your own head). I know you have stuff to do homeschool mama! And self-compassion is likely not on the list.







I have had a chance to practice self-compassion….and I am committed to practicing it till the day I die.







I strongly suspect I’ll always have a chance to learn to speak kindly to myself and include these practices in my life.







What do we actually do to change those self-criticizing, self-judging, not good enough feelings and self-shaming, feelings inside our mind?







We need to practice self-compassion strategies.

















Check out the Self-Compassion Course for Homeschool Mamas































I dunno about you but I didn’t adequately plan for my kids’ big emotions.







Straight up, I assumed I could modify their behaviours, and their unpleasant emotions, and definitely decrease their angry reactions, so I wouldn’t have to experience their feelings at all.







Before you judge me (but I do get why you would), it wasn’t conscious. I wasn’t intentional about any of that last paragraph.







Obviously, I would want my kids to feel good, be prepared for life, know how to address their emotions, and know how to relate to others.







However, my training in big emotions was this: don’t feel your big emotions. And at the very least, don’t express them.







But if you do feel your big emotions, pretend they’re not there. There is a designated feeler of emotions in this home, and it’s not you.