12 min

Irreconcilable Change Lift As You Climb

    • Self-Improvement

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines irreconcilable difference as the inability to agree on most things or important things.

In my case, as for many ‘Grey Divorces’, that was the reason cited for the reason to end our marriage; irreconcilable differences.

No fault, no blame, no list of shortcomings, broken promises, or unrealized dreams, no litany of annoying habits, no explanations, no defense - just two words; irreconcilable differences.

No long-drawn-out court battle and big legal bills.

No mudslinging or blame-gaming. We’d done enough of that in the preceding years and realized that accomplished nothing except deepening the rift in our relationship, and making others who loved us uncomfortable.

Once we accepted that our marriage was no longer providing each of us what we wanted for who we are now, we could move forward as people who still cared about each other.

We drew up our own settlement terms, consulted with CPAs and employed a mediation lawyer to file the court documents. We accomplished this in weeks, respectfully and co-operatively.

Divorce is on the rise in my generation.

Stay tuned over the next few weeks and months as I share from my experience of ‘conscious uncoupling’ and the many facets of change that lead into and through divorce.

REFERENCES:

"Gray divorce," also known as "silver splitter" or "diamond divorce," is a term used to refer to the increasing trend of late-in-life divorces. This term first became mainstream in 2004, when AARP published a study on divorce at "midlife and beyond," and is generally used to describe adults aged 50 or older who are going through a separation.

In 2015, every 10 out of 1,000 couples aged 50 and over got divorced, which was double what their divorce rate had been in 1990. And for those over 65, the increase was even higher — it had roughly tripled in 25 years. In fact, while the overall rate of divorce has continually declined since then, the divorce rate of people over 50 is increasing.

Why are older people getting divorced? One soon-to-be-divorced woman told me that she sees her life in chapters. And although she thought her current husband would be part of her life through all of them, she now wants to do some of the writing on her own, and perhaps, one day, with another partner. She means no harm to her husband, and wants to free him up to find true happiness in his next chapters as well.

Couples aren't simply "drifting apart" over time anymore. One or both people in the marriage are making an overt choice to change course for the time they have left. And recognizing that life is short and precious, one or both partners choose what they feel is the most fulfilling path. They tend to believe that, if a marriage is not working for them, it really isn't working for their spouse either. So, they afford themselves the space to gain, or regain, happiness and fulfillment.

About the Host:

Isabel Banerjee - Your Next Business Strategist and Transformation Catalyst

Dynamic, a self-made entrepreneur who overcame obstacles with an unrelenting positive nature, a farm girl work ethic, and a conscious choice to thrive rather than survive, Isabel Alexander Banerjee cultivated an award-winning, $10 million+ global chemical business and grew it from dining room table to international boardrooms.

Isabel’s strengths include the ability to initiate and nurture strategic relationships, a love of lifelong learning and talents for helping others maximize their potential. An inspiring speaker within both industry and community, she is a driving force behind those with the courage to foll0ow her example of thriving against the odds.

With 50+ years of business experience across diverse industries, Isabel is respected as an advisor, a coach, a mentor, and a role model. She believes in sharing collective wisdom and empowering others to economic independence.

Founder of the Lift As You Climb Movement
and
Chief Encore Officer, The Encore Catalyst – an accelerat

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines irreconcilable difference as the inability to agree on most things or important things.

In my case, as for many ‘Grey Divorces’, that was the reason cited for the reason to end our marriage; irreconcilable differences.

No fault, no blame, no list of shortcomings, broken promises, or unrealized dreams, no litany of annoying habits, no explanations, no defense - just two words; irreconcilable differences.

No long-drawn-out court battle and big legal bills.

No mudslinging or blame-gaming. We’d done enough of that in the preceding years and realized that accomplished nothing except deepening the rift in our relationship, and making others who loved us uncomfortable.

Once we accepted that our marriage was no longer providing each of us what we wanted for who we are now, we could move forward as people who still cared about each other.

We drew up our own settlement terms, consulted with CPAs and employed a mediation lawyer to file the court documents. We accomplished this in weeks, respectfully and co-operatively.

Divorce is on the rise in my generation.

Stay tuned over the next few weeks and months as I share from my experience of ‘conscious uncoupling’ and the many facets of change that lead into and through divorce.

REFERENCES:

"Gray divorce," also known as "silver splitter" or "diamond divorce," is a term used to refer to the increasing trend of late-in-life divorces. This term first became mainstream in 2004, when AARP published a study on divorce at "midlife and beyond," and is generally used to describe adults aged 50 or older who are going through a separation.

In 2015, every 10 out of 1,000 couples aged 50 and over got divorced, which was double what their divorce rate had been in 1990. And for those over 65, the increase was even higher — it had roughly tripled in 25 years. In fact, while the overall rate of divorce has continually declined since then, the divorce rate of people over 50 is increasing.

Why are older people getting divorced? One soon-to-be-divorced woman told me that she sees her life in chapters. And although she thought her current husband would be part of her life through all of them, she now wants to do some of the writing on her own, and perhaps, one day, with another partner. She means no harm to her husband, and wants to free him up to find true happiness in his next chapters as well.

Couples aren't simply "drifting apart" over time anymore. One or both people in the marriage are making an overt choice to change course for the time they have left. And recognizing that life is short and precious, one or both partners choose what they feel is the most fulfilling path. They tend to believe that, if a marriage is not working for them, it really isn't working for their spouse either. So, they afford themselves the space to gain, or regain, happiness and fulfillment.

About the Host:

Isabel Banerjee - Your Next Business Strategist and Transformation Catalyst

Dynamic, a self-made entrepreneur who overcame obstacles with an unrelenting positive nature, a farm girl work ethic, and a conscious choice to thrive rather than survive, Isabel Alexander Banerjee cultivated an award-winning, $10 million+ global chemical business and grew it from dining room table to international boardrooms.

Isabel’s strengths include the ability to initiate and nurture strategic relationships, a love of lifelong learning and talents for helping others maximize their potential. An inspiring speaker within both industry and community, she is a driving force behind those with the courage to foll0ow her example of thriving against the odds.

With 50+ years of business experience across diverse industries, Isabel is respected as an advisor, a coach, a mentor, and a role model. She believes in sharing collective wisdom and empowering others to economic independence.

Founder of the Lift As You Climb Movement
and
Chief Encore Officer, The Encore Catalyst – an accelerat

12 min