247 episodes

Jamilah Lemieux and Dan Kois share triumphs and fails and offer advice on parenting kids from toddler to teens.

Mom and Dad Are Fighting | Slate's parenting show Slate Magazine

    • Parenting

Jamilah Lemieux and Dan Kois share triumphs and fails and offer advice on parenting kids from toddler to teens.

    The I Hate You Edition

    The I Hate You Edition

    On this week’s episode: Dan and Jamilah are joined by Isaac Butler to answer a question from a mom trying to make up for a verbal slip in a moment of frustration. And we have a question from a mom who wants to fend off family pressure to baptize her child. For Slate Plus: a mini Mom and Dad are Fighting reunion! Dan talks to Allison Benedikt about her adventure taking Sam to the Westminster Dog Show. Sign up for Slate Plus here.

    Recommendations:
     
    Dan recommends Every Kid Outdoors, a program that allows 4th graders to get into all federal lands for free. 

    Jamilah recommends Harlem's Little Blackbird: The Story of Florence Mills by Renee Watson and Christian Robinson.
     
    Isaac recommends digging into the Sondheim back catalogue, specifically Company, with your kids.
     
    Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to tell us what you thought of today’s show and give us ideas for what we should talk about in future episodes. Got questions that you’d like us to answer? Call and leave us a message at 424-255-7833.
     
    Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson.
     
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    • 41 min
    Let Black Girls Be Girls Edition

    Let Black Girls Be Girls Edition

    On this week’s episode: Dan and Jamilah are joined by poet, performer, and activist Staceyann Chin to field a question from a mom who’s worried she should give her son a year to grow before he starts kindergarten. Scott Brown, author of the YA novel XL and short guy, calls in to help. The hosts also discuss disproportionate expectations of maturity placed on black girls during childhood. For Slate Plus: a question from a mom wondering if she is can worry about her white son’s experience at a school that has predominantly black and Hispanic students. Sign up for Slate Plus here.

    Recommendations:

    Jamilah recommends The State of Black Girls: A Go-To Guide for Creating Safe Space for Black Girls by Marline Francois-Madden LCSW.

    Dan recommends the Newbery-winning comic New Kid by Jerry Craft.

    Staceyann recommends Ada Twist, Scientist by Andrea Beaty.

    Additional Reading:
    XL by Scott Brown.

    Why Won’t Society Let Black Girls Be Children? By A. Rochaun Meadows-Fernandez.

    Pushout: The Criminalization of Black Girls in Schools. By Monique W. Morris.

    Girlhood Interrupted: The Erasure of Black Girls’ Childhood by Rebecca Epstein, Jamilia J. Blake and Thalia González.

    End Adultification Bias by Georgetown Law Center on Poverty and Inequality.

    Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to tell us what you thought of today’s show and give us ideas for what we should talk about in future episodes. Got questions that you’d like us to answer? Call and leave us a message at 424-255-7833.

    Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson. Audio engineering by Chau Tu. 
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    • 52 min
    The Basketball Families Edition

    The Basketball Families Edition

    On this week’s episode: A question from a mom who is feeling like the only parent at home due to her husband’s time-consuming commitment to assistant coaching a high school basketball team. Also, Jamilah wrote about her experience talking about Kobe Bryant’s death in this week’s Care and Feeding column. The hosts discuss Bryant, his daughter Gianna, and the challenge of talking about death with kids. During the discussion Elizabeth recommended two books: Margaret Wise Brown’s The Dead Bird and Melanie Watt’s Bug in a Vacuum.
    For Slate Plus, the hosts answer a second listener question from a mother-to-be wondering how she can preemptively set family boundaries with her eager in-laws. Sign up for Slate Plus here.


    Recommendations:

    Dan recommends an adhesive whiteboard to transform your non-magnetic refrigerator into a centralized family bulletin board. Just don’t forget to remove the plastic lining!

    Jamilah recommends Cartoon Beatbox Battles on YouTube.

    Elizabeth recommends Stick-lets - little silicone rings that keep sticks together to help build things… like forts!

    Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to tell us what you thought of today’s show and give us ideas for what we should talk about in future episodes. Got questions that you’d like us to answer? Call and leave us a message at 424-255-7833.

    Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson.

    Hosts

    Dan Kois is an editor and writer at Slate. He’s the author of How to Be a Family and the co-author of The World Only Spins Forward.

    Jamilah Lemieux is a writer, cultural critic, and communications strategist based in California.

    Elizabeth Newcamp is a traveling mother of three boys who chronicles her misadventures at Dutch, Dutch, Goose.
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    • 1 hr 8 min
    The Odd Girl Out Edition

    The Odd Girl Out Edition

    On this week’s episode: Dan and Jamilah are joined by Elizabeth Newcamp to answer a question from a mom with sons who is bothered when people ask her if she wants a daughter. While she loves having boys, the questions are annoying because, deep down, she thinks having a mother-daughter bond would be nice. They also answer a question from a mom looking for an appropriate way to ask parents if they keep guns in their house before letting her kids go over to play. For Slate Plus, Dan, Jamilah and Elizabeth play Would You Rather—parenting edition! Sign up for Slate Plus here.

    Recommendations:

    Dan recommends two games good for gaggles of tweens and teens: Exploding Kittens and You’ve Got Crabs.

    Jamilah recommends facilitating time between your kids and your child-free friends. 

    Elizabeth recommends starting a book of centuries, a living document where you and your kids can fill in important dates. It helps your kids understand where they fit within a larger timeline. You can also download a free version to fill out.

    Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to tell us what you thought of today’s show and give us ideas for what we should talk about in future episodes. Got questions that you’d like us to answer? Call and leave us a message at 424-255-7833.

    Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson.

    Hosts

    Jamilah Lemieux is a writer, cultural critic, and communications strategist based in California.

    Dan Kois is an editor and writer at Slate. He’s the author of How to Be a Family and the co-author of The World Only Spins Forward.

    Elizabeth Newcamp is a traveling mother of three boys who chronicles her misadventures at Dutch, Dutch, Goose.
     
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    • 49 min
    Already Over the Christmas Presents Edition

    Already Over the Christmas Presents Edition

    On this week’s episode: Dan and Jamilah are joined by Care and Feeding columnist Nicole Cliffe. They answer a question from a mom whose brother’s suicide attempt is causing her to reevaluate her son’s relationship with his uncle. He’s recovering, but can she trust him to look after her eight year old? They also answer a question from a father whose kid regrets choosing an iPad over a Switch. Should he just break down and buy the Switch? And how can he teach his son that getting the next shiny thing doesn’t necessarily make you happy? For Slate Plus, special guest and Slate staff writer Ruth Graham discusses her parenting dilemma that included a highly anticipated trip and... barf? Sign up for Slate Plus here.


    Recommendations:

    Dan recommends two Oscar nominations for your tweens and teens: Knives Out and Parasite. Jamilah tossed in the Oscar-nominated short, Hair Love. Many art-house theaters screen the Oscar nominated shorts; so go see them in person.

    Jamilah recommends Trader Joe’s cauliflower products. Cauliflower au gratin, great! Cauliflower tot casserole, delicious! Plus, you don’t really have to cook.

    Nicole recommends Contigo water bottles for kids, which comes in blue and orange.

    Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to tell us what you thought of today’s show and give us ideas for what we should talk about in future episodes. Got questions that you’d like us to answer? Call and leave us a message at 424-255-7833.

    Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson.

    Hosts

    Jamilah Lemieux is a writer, cultural critic, and communications strategist based in California.

    Dan Kois is an editor and writer at Slate. He’s the author of How to Be a Family and the co-author of The World Only Spins Forward.

    Nicole Cliffe lives with her husband and three children in Sandy, Utah. She is the co-founder of the Toast and has written for the Guardian, Christianity Today, New York, and the Morning News.
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    • 50 min
    Pretty White Boy Edition

    Pretty White Boy Edition

    On this week’s episode: Dan and Jamilah are joined by Laura Tisdel to answer listener questions. A mom wonders how to deal with the privilege disparity between her biracial black daughter and her white son after she noticed her son getting preferential treatment at daycare. Plus, a mom asks about taking the fall for her daughter when her daughter feels uncomfortable standing up to a friend. For Slate Plus, the hosts talk about the parenting vices they won’t be giving up in 2020. Sign up for Slate Plus here.
     
    Recommendations:

    Laura recommends Rivers, Roads & Rails, a game where you collect pieces to make transportation pathways, plus Catherine Newman's list of her favorite games.
    Dan recommends Azul, a tile strategy game where you pretend to be building Portuguese tile art.
     
    Jamilah recommends Surviving R. Kelly Part II: The Reckoning on Lifetime.


    Additional Reading:
    The Color Complex by Kathy Russell, Midge Wilson and Ronald Hall.

    In 2020, Skip Your Resolutions—Embrace a Vice by Slate Staff.

    Join us on Facebook and email us at momanddad@slate.com to tell us what you thought of today’s show and give us ideas for what we should talk about in future episodes. Got questions that you’d like us to answer? Call and leave us a message at 424-255-7833.
     
    Audio engineering by Merritt Jacob.

    Podcast produced by Rosemary Belson.
     
    Hosts

    Dan Kois is an editor and writer at Slate. He’s the author of How to Be a Family and the co-author of The World Only Spins Forward.

    Jamilah Lemieux is a writer, cultural critic, and communications strategist based in California.

    Laura Tisdel is a book editor at Penguin Random House. 
    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    • 50 min

Customer Reviews

Mz_Kitty ,

Great podcast - like the new line up of hosts

I have always liked this podcast but it wasn't top of my list anymore until the shuffle with new hosts. As a parent with grown kids I still enjoy the thoughtful (and fun) discussions about the realities of parenting.

JansIphone ,

Way too many advertisements

I just listened to my first episode of this podcast and the content was great, but there are far too many advertisements.

scuba403 ,

Good but a bit of an echo chamber

There are some very interesting discussions on the show but as you listen more (I have listened for years now) it's too narrow in ideologies and views. They need to bring in people that disagree more as they mostly just echo each other or their guest. As is often a problem these days they just look for opinions that are similar to their own.

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