Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Christian Parenting
  • 4.7 (19)
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As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

  1. How to stop procrastinating and get unstuck with Jon Acuff

    3D AGO

    How to stop procrastinating and get unstuck with Jon Acuff

    Procrastination is something every family faces. It shows up in our own lives and in our kids, often leaving us feeling stuck, overwhelmed, and unsure where to start. In this episode, Jon Acuff returns to share practical insight from his latest book, Procrastination Proof. The conversation explores why we procrastinate, the common traps that keep us stuck, and how to take small, meaningful steps toward progress. We also talk about how these patterns show up in our kids and what it looks like to guide them with understanding and encouragement instead of frustration. This episode is a helpful reminder that getting unstuck doesn’t require perfection—just a willingness to take the next step. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Procrastination and Its Universality 02:57 Jon Acuff's Journey to Writing 11 Books 05:56 Understanding Procrastination as a Solution 09:02 The Satisfaction of Completing Tasks 11:53 Four Permissions to Overcome Procrastination 15:05 Navigating New Seasons of Life 18:10 Encouragement for Moms Facing Identity Changes 19:14 Emotional Transitions of Parenting 20:04 Understanding Different Parenting Styles 25:45 Identifying Parenting Traps 30:30 Encouragement for Personal Growth Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo Resources from today’s show: Connect with Jon Acuff Procrastination Proof - Jon’s new book Four Traps Quiz Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide Sign up for Morning Minute Open a LearningRX center Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    34 min
  2. Week 32: Repentant heart - Zacchaeus

    6D AGO

    Week 32: Repentant heart - Zacchaeus

    If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) Zacchaeus was a very rich and corrupt tax collector who was disliked by the Jewish people. One day, Jesus was passing through town and Zacchaeus decided he wanted to see him! But as you may know, Zacchaeus was a “wee little man,” so he had to climb a tree to get a good view. Much to everyone’s surprise and dismay, Jesus pointed him out, spoke to him, and invited himself over. At that moment, Zacchaeus’s heart changed. He felt guilty, but he also acted on his guilt and repented. He vowed to give half his possessions to the poor and to pay back four times the amount to anyone he had cheated. This wasn’t just a small apology—it was a complete turnaround; salvation came to his house and his faith was real because it moved him to action. We all have a barrier to genuinely meeting and following Jesus. For Zacchaeus, it was his corrupt values and his size. But Jesus broke through those barriers, and when he did, Zacchaeus repented. For our kids, those barriers might be life situations, friends, or even distractions. But no barrier is too big for Christ to reach us. Jesus sees each of us and knows us personally. He invited himself into Zacchaeus’s life, though Zacchaeus was a known sinner, and he invites himself into our kids’ hearts too. But responding to Jesus isn’t just about hearing his call; it’s about repentance. Zacchaeus didn’t just listen, he changed. As parents, we want our kids to truly follow Jesus, and that means turning away from sin and choosing a new way of life with him. This week, let’s pray that our kids recognize the sin in their lives and repent of that sin, feeling confident that Jesus forgives them. Jesus, thank you for forgiving our sins. Help __________ to see the sin in their life and to feel convicted. Take away all their guilt and shame in a way that only you can as they experience your perfect forgiveness. And may they live their life in a way that reflects your grace. Amen. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    9 min
  3. The love language that matters most by Dr. Gary Chapman

    APR 9

    The love language that matters most by Dr. Gary Chapman

    Loving your family well isn’t always as simple as it sounds. There are seasons when connection feels easy, and others when you feel unseen, unheard, or like your efforts just aren’t landing. In this episode, Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, shares insights from decades of helping couples and families better understand how to give and receive love. With the release of his latest book, the conversation goes deeper into how love languages can shape stronger, more meaningful relationships at home. We talk about what to do when you don’t feel loved, how to better understand your spouse and children, and why taking the first step in showing love can shift the entire dynamic of a relationship. There’s also practical wisdom on how to approach hard conversations with care and intentionality. This episode is a powerful reminder that small, consistent choices in how we love can make a lasting impact on our families. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Dr. Gary Chapman 01:43 The Importance of Feeling Loved 03:43 Gary Chapman's Life and Work 04:58 Understanding Love Languages 08:42 The New Book: The Love Language That Matters Most 12:39 Communicating Love Effectively 16:46 Identifying Love Languages in Children 17:49 Understanding Love Languages in Early Childhood 20:55 Practical Parenting Tips Using Love Languages 24:38 Engaging with Teenagers: Navigating Independence 29:32 Adapting Love Languages for Teenagers 32:23 Legacy of Love: Reflections on Parenting and Faith Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo Resources from today’s show: Connect with Dr. Gary Chapman 5 Love Languages 5 Love Languages free test 5 Love Languages Premium Assessment The Love Language That Matters Most - new book 5 Love Languages of Children 5 Love Languages of Teenagers Open a LearningRX center Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube! Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    38 min
  4. Week 31: Focus on Jesus - Mary

    APR 6

    Week 31: Focus on Jesus - Mary

    Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. (John 12:3) In the story of Mary and Martha, Mary was the sister who understood the big picture and spent a lot of time at the feet of Jesus. First, she sat at his feet as a disciple would do and listened to Jesus as he taught. Later, she anointed Jesus’s feet with expensive perfume and washed them with her hair. It would have been easy for Mary to be distracted and overwhelmed like her sister became. There was a lot going on and there were a lot of people in her house! Jesus was staying with them and the end of his ministry was nearing. He had also just resurrected their brother! Mary could have multitasked her way through that dinner, but she focused her whole self on Jesus instead. We live in a culture that tells us we can have it all and do it all, and we can multitask and be more efficient. But we can’t multitask Jesus. Jesus was not suggesting that Mary (or Martha) completely disregard their responsibilities, but he was calling them to focus fully on the most important thing, which was him in that moment. What would it look like for our families to focus on Jesus without distractions? As parents, we can model abiding in Christ and encourage our kids to do the same—to experience the gift of learning from him about eternal things instead of rushing around focusing on the present. This week, let’s pray that our kids say no to distractions and grow in their ability to solely focus on Jesus and truly abide in his presence. Jesus, thank you for being our teacher and our Savior. I pray that __________ chooses to sit at your feet and focus on you. As they do the work you have called them to, help them to remember that you are the most important thing. When they are distracted, as they inevitably will be, draw nearer to them. Amen. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    10 min
  5. My Virtual Mentor: Leaving a legacy with Jeff Henderson

    APR 2

    My Virtual Mentor: Leaving a legacy with Jeff Henderson

    Legacy is something every family is building, whether intentionally or not. But in the middle of busy schedules and full lives, it can be easy to lose sight of what we’re actually passing down. In this month’s My Virtual Mentor episode, Jeff Henderson, author, pastor, and leader, shares wisdom on what it means to live and lead with legacy in mind. The conversation explores what truly matters at the end of our lives, the values we want to instill in our children, and how to be more intentional with the time we’ve been given. We talk about the tension between work and family, why choosing your family matters more than you think, and how everyday decisions shape the kind of legacy you leave behind. This episode is designed to not only encourage personal growth, but also spark meaningful conversations, with a mentor, spouse, or trusted friend, about the kind of life and family you want to build. If you’re just getting started - don’t miss the previous episodes: My Virtual Mentor: Why Mentorship MattersMy Virtual Mentor: Intimacy with GodMy Virtual Mentor: Personalities and TemperamentsMy Virtual Mentor: Stewardship & Generosity My Virtual Mentor: Time Management & Creating MarginMy Virtual Mentor: Identity in Christ (Part 1 and Part 2)My Virtual Mentor: Prioritizing Your Marriage  Chapters: 00:00 Reconnecting at Chick-fil-A Headquarters 05:01 Lessons on Leadership and Legacy from Truett Cathy 12:50 End-of-Life Perspectives: What Truly Matters 17:04 Navigating Parenting with Encouragement and Wisdom 18:20 The Weight of Words 22:14 Preparing for Impact 23:35 Defining Legacy and Values 28:01 Carrying on Family Traditions 34:20 Leadership and Influence in Parenting 37:43 A Prayer for Parents MY VIRTUAL MENTOR GUIDE (MARRIAGE) Scripture to memorize: Deuteronomy 6:5-7 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Scriptures for prayer and study: Psalm 78:4, Matthew 6:20-21, Psalm 103:17, Proverbs 29:18 Books for further study: Eat Mor Chikin: Inspire More People by Truett CathyChoosing to Cheat by Andy StanleyThe Legacy Life by David GreenDivine Disruption by Tony Evans and children Discussion questions: What do you want to pass down from your parents? What do you want your kids to say about you when your life is over?  What values matter most to you?  Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeo Resources from today’s show: Connect with Jeff HendersonWhat To Do Next by Jeff HendersonFOR by Jeff HendersonResources from Titus 2 MentoringOpen a LearningRX center Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube! Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    40 min
  6. Week 30: Salvation - the thief on the cross

    MAR 30

    Week 30: Salvation - the thief on the cross

    Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:42–43) As Jesus was led to his crucifixion, he was surrounded by two men on crosses next to him, all three of them facing death. One man was mocking and doubting Jesus, but the other man turned to Jesus in his final moments and was promised eternity with Jesus. Although not much was shared in this interaction, the thief did proclaim Jesus was Lord. It’s a powerful reminder that it’s never too late to repent and accept Jesus. There is always hope; in fact, the Bible says that everyone who calls on his name will be saved (Romans 10:13). This story also reminds us that doing good works or earning our way to heaven is not what Jesus offered us; it is a free gift. As believing parents, our hope is that there is more distance between our kids’ salvation and their death than there was for the thief on the cross. We know that true peace, joy, and hope is found in following Jesus, and we want our kids to have that for a lifetime; we want them to experience a full life of faith. We want them to spend many years drawing others to faith. However, we must never count out a child that is full of sin and far from God. God is still reaching for them up until their last breath. This week, let’s pray that our kids accept the free gift of salvation and spend their lives following Jesus. Jesus, thank you for the gift of salvation. Lord, please draw __________ to you. Help them to understand what following you means, that there is nothing they can do to make you love them less or more, and that you give them the gift of peace on earth now and eternal life with you later. Amen. If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes.  Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    9 min
  7. Marriage reconciliation and restoration with Cheryl Scruggs

    MAR 26

    Marriage reconciliation and restoration with Cheryl Scruggs

    Marriage can be both deeply challenging and incredibly beautiful, and many couples experience seasons of disconnection along the way. In this episode, Cheryl Scruggs shares her powerful story of reconciliation after walking through divorce and finding her way back to her husband years later. Together, the conversation explores the realities of marriage, the slow drift that can happen over time, and the hope that restoration is possible, even after deep hurt. We talk about the importance of communication, the danger of letting resentment grow in silence, and the role of community in helping marriages stay healthy. There is also practical encouragement for women who want to be more intentional in their relationships and create space for honesty and healing. This episode is a reminder that while marriage takes work, it is also a place where God can bring growth, redemption, and renewed connection. Here are the verses she shared! Matthew 19:26 With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible. Deuteronomy 8:2 (read full chapter too) Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. Chapters: 00:00 Navigating Life's Challenges 03:02 The Journey of Marriage Ministry 06:02 Crisis in Marriage: Recognizing the Signs 09:09 Building a Stronger Connection 11:59 The Importance of Vulnerability in Relationships 19:20 Navigating the Transition to Empty Nesting 22:02 The Importance of Nurturing Intimacy 24:34 Overcoming Disconnection in Marriage 27:32 The Role of Counseling in Strengthening Relationships 29:59 Practical Steps to Show Love and Respect 31:54 Finding Hope and Redemption in Marriage Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Pardon The Mess  Courtney DeFeo Resources from today’s show: Connect with Cheryl and Jeff Thriving Beyond Belief - Cheryl’s podcast Thriving Beyond Belief - Cheryl’s newest book I Do Again - Jeff and Cheryl’s book Open a LearningRX center Sign up for Morning Minute Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    37 min
  8. Week 29: Let go of perfection - Martha

    MAR 23

    Week 29: Let go of perfection - Martha

    “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41–42) Martha kind of gets a bad rap. In her story, Jesus and the disciples were staying at her home. Martha spent her time making food and busying herself to make her home hospitable, while her sister Mary sat at the feet of Jesus and listened to him. We all want to be Mary, choosing time with the Lord over the busyness of life (more on that in two weeks), but it’s important to remember that as disciples of Jesus we are called to sit and serve. In Martha’s case, it was all about priorities. Creating a hospitable home and serving others is important. In fact, Martha served Jesus and his disciples again at a dinner given in Jesus’s honor before Passover. But when it comes to serving others are we focused on Pinterest perfection or on making people feel comfortable and pointing to Jesus with our actions? It’s more about our attitude than our actions. Taking care of Jesus and his disciples was a good thing—but it seems as though Martha was seeking perfection. The truth is, seeking perfection is setting ourselves up for failure because it means we are depending more on ourselves than on Jesus. We can’t be perfect, only God is perfect. Today’s world looks like perfection and our kids are growing up right in the middle of it. But we can encourage them to keep their eyes on Jesus and serve him and others because it’s what’s in their hearts, not what makes them look best. This week, let’s pray that our kids can let go of any pressure for perfection and learn to rest in Jesus and his perfection. Let’s pray that when they are overwhelmed by the things of life they redirect their hearts toward the most important thing. Jesus, when __________ feels overwhelmed by the busyness of the world, help them to focus their heart back to you. Give them the peace to let go of perfection and expectation, and to rely on you instead. May they serve others out of a response to your love, not out of obligation, pride, or image. Amen. If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes.  Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses today Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESS Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

    8 min
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As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org

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