Scorpio Stoner Astrological Horoscope

Stoner Scorpio you are a resilient amazing creature.  This month will test every astrological characteristic flowing within you.  Remember your resiliency stoner Scorpio.  As waves of positive and negative charges lap at your internal beachfront, it will be your ability to plot forward toward progress that sees you through this turbulent time.



Whoa, that was dramatic.  Perhaps the month won't play out like an action film, but more like a romantic comedy.  The bottom line is to prepare for wide arcs of influence from celestial bodies.





Nobody knows you better than yourself, my secretive stoner Scorpion.  Stock the stash jars with a wide range of cannabis strains.  This wide selection will allow you to pack the right bud at the right moment.  Trust yourself to be your own bud tender for the month.



You are the cannanaut of your own terrestrial experience.  But if I could create a guide for the month within the sacred herbal species, I would suggest:



First Decade:  Energetic Sativa.  This will be a phase of learned growth.  The more energy the better!



Second Decade:  Indica Dominant Hybrid.  Your stinger will be sharpest during this phase.  Blend clear communicative outpouring with measured contemplative thought.



Third Decade:  High CBD Strain.  Feelings will come rushing in at this stage.  Balance and clarity of thought must stabilize your sphere.



A wide range of emotions may seem daunting, but with the assistance of the sacred herb you will be able to view this month from a thirty thousand foot view.  You will emerge stronger stoner Scorpio. 

Oh stoner Scorpio, what an interesting life you live.  The final Spring month will be no different.



The itch for change remains.  But universal energy is strengthening the key trait of solitude.  I had to take an extra pull on my own joint to work on this reading!



Toke time for yourself in the first half of May stoner Scorpio.  Your private nature is strengthened by cosmic winds of internal contemplation.  However, with these early smoke sessions, please take note of the marijuana smoke.  Your fellow terrestrial cannanauts cannot know your intentions or plans without your communication.





Yes, decisions and direction must come from internal contemplation my persnipity Scorpion; but everyone can use some guidance and assistance from their canna-crew.  Toke about it and talk about it stoner Scorpio.



May is split in two by the total Lunar eclipse on the 15th.



Even though the month is split, the work put into the beginning of the month will assist you at the end of the month.  Powerful energy will surround the stoner Scorpio after the Full Moon.



The itch for change and the potential repression of feelings could come pouring out.  Make sure to have your stash jars loaded with Indica strains surrounding this Lunar event.



Your stinger is sharp stoner Scopio.  Be careful not to injure your cannabis companions with undesired collateral damage from high energy surges during this time.



The sedative nature of the Indica species might help soothe your sharp instincts, and find contemplation over attack.



However, stoner Scorpio hear me now:  Switch to Sativa strains after the few days of energy overload are over.  We are meant to be in balance; the peak in energy will be followed by a valley.



Wow what a month my valiant Scorpion.  Take care of others, and be sure to toke time with yourself.  Seek wisdom and balance.  Everything is going to be ok.

Stoner Scorpio change is in the air this Spring!  Turbulent cosmic winds have knocked you back and forth for what must seem like an eternity.  Important celestial movements this month will create a new period of calm that should soothe the stoner Scorpio like a mellow edible that reaches the perfect level.



New beginnings my stable stoner Scorpion.  There is a bit of celestial magic operating at the dawn of April.  The New Moon rises in March and sets in April.  Pack a celebratory bowl of cannabis to welcome in this new phase early in the month.



Perhaps you have been working on new beginnings in your personal life.  Agents of chaos might have slowed you down.  Breathe in the calming nature of the sacred herb.  Use your ganja gifted third eye sight to see the roadmap of destiny as it unveils before your eyes.





Now is the time to use free will to progress toward your destiny stoner Scorpio.



In the work sphere there is more potential for positive change.  Whether it is a project or an occupation, many stoner Scopio’s have been feeling as if there may be new opportunities or a change in direction that could set them free from a stagnant routine.



Yes stoner Scorpio, this may be the month where meditative daydreaming turns into terrestrial action.



Keep your cannabis consumption to Sativa strains this month.  There will be a lot to do, and a lot to think about.  The creative properties of the Sativa species could loosen those mental gears obstructing progress.



One foot in front of the other stoner Scorpio.  You are marching toward your destiny.  And everything is going to be ok.

It will be hard to deny the positivity stoner Scorpio.  The days are getting longer, and that fresh Spring feeling is traveling through the air.  I warned you that the first couple months of 2022 would be a test of internal fortitude; but now it's time to open the curtains, smile at your neighbors, and seek out communal ganja gatherings once again!



Toke time to seal the blessings from the universe with a solo meditative smoke session on or around the New Moon of the 2nd.  Create a comfy safe space to explore your internal drives with your cannabis spirit guide.  Inhale the positivity of the plant, and exhale your positive wishes onto the terrestrial world.  The power of this manifesting marijuana meditation will be felt throughout the month.





Feel the love and positivity stoner Scorpio.  It will serve you well immediately.  Cosmic winds of conflict could arise in the work sphere in the weeks after the New Moon.  But with cannabis infused universal blessings manifesting, these conflicts will be seen as the simple obstacles that they are.  



We can't all be on the same page, or within the same sacred space of perception.  Your internal guide will create an ease of understanding toward your fellow man that should transcend any turmoil.



Potentially the magic of the month will be surrounding the Full Moon on the 18th.  This special Moon will blast a bright glow of openness often discarded by the stoner Scorpion.  Seek out your close cannabis companions for a philosophical smoke circle of sharing.  Match bowls with the canna-crew, and share stories.



Yes, share yourself stoner Scorpio.  You never know what you might learn by stepping out with the sacred herb as your guide among close cannabis companions.

Ok stoner Scorpio.  I feel you.  Is 2022 going to be 2020 too?  NO.



Early in the month, fire up the music, fire up the bowl, and fire up the good vibes.  There is a change coming quickly, and this marker could use a blessing of positivity.  Find a safe space to celebrate.  Whether you are into the healing properties of crystals, or the cleansing properties of smudging, combine your prefered holistic ritual with a bowl burning session with the sacred herb.



Use your canna-powers combined with your holistic healing ritual to accept the past, and manifest positivity for the future.  You can't imagine how powerful this medicated meditative smoke session will be.





Once complete it will be like finding your voice again.  With honesty and integrity at heart, your words will find the target.  And it's ok stoner Scorpio, sometimes words land hard.  Toke time for self, and smoke about any poor reactions you might receive.  I bet your cannabis compadre might do the same, and discussions with solutions will ensue.  



Just give it a chance, and you might find the smoke circle complete once again.  Tensions release with the soothing vapors of the sacred herb.  The ganja gang can laugh, cry, argue, and smoke again all in the same sesh.



Stoner Scorpio, in the middle of the month, an interesting conundrum might challenge your bliss.  Make sure you have sacred Indica strains available during this period.  Use the calming nature of your cannabis copilot to envelop all decisions with love and positive intentions.  This will not be the time to duke-it-out or make earnest declarations.  



My scorching Scorpion, tell someone (anyone) you love them this month.  Find your voice.  Express love and positivity.

Courage stoner Scorpio.  January marks the beginning of a new year, and an opportunity to set positive intentions for progress and fulfillment that could last well into the future.



You are a powerful force within the stoner Zodiac my self-motivated Scorpion.  In January celestial forces will assist in grounding your powerful stoner star sign traits to your inner voice and motivations.  Use the sacred herb as a divining rod of inspiration.  The cannabis strain does not matter.  The positive intention you find in the glow of the burning bowl will light up the night, and your powers of manifestation.





Trust yourself stoner Scorpio.  Trust the magic of the sacred herb.  Together, you are a powerful cosmic combination!



A key to your powerful presence on the terrestrial plane is your patience, and discipline.  Allow your cannabis copilot to connect the drives of your internal voice to the outward projection of your physical existence.



With the sacred herbal-infused connection made to your internal voice, a fresh start and positive direction will be set in January.  The medicated meditations made today, could propel you forward into tomorrow, where passion and progress will be revealed.