100 episodes

The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.,, LMFT, specializing in the narcissistic personality, She offers in-depth information about the origins and psychodynamics of the narcissistic personality and strategies and practices for those psychologically and emotionally abused by narcissistic personalities through her global podcasts (The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast) her books:: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life.

The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.

    • Health & Fitness
    • 4.6 • 50 Ratings

The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D.,, LMFT, specializing in the narcissistic personality, She offers in-depth information about the origins and psychodynamics of the narcissistic personality and strategies and practices for those psychologically and emotionally abused by narcissistic personalities through her global podcasts (The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast) her books:: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life.

    High Level Narcissists Cultivate the Perfect Image

    High Level Narcissists Cultivate the Perfect Image

    High level narcissists create, build and maintain their Image, essential to their delusional reality. The narcissist's outer shell--the elaborate perfect facade is what he/she projects in the world. This image is priceless to him. From the time most narcissists were very  small they developed a false sense of self. This can encompass many atttributes: attractiveness, confidence, drive, no sense of limits, the abiity magnetize, manipulate and control others.
    I am speaking about a personality that is based solely on the thin veneer of the Image. There is no room here for the inner self that introspects, is capable of lauthentic loving relationships, empathy--the capacity to understand and feel on a deep level what someone else is experiencing, the alleviation of the emotional pain of others through kindness, the ability to perceive oneself clearly--the positive and the negative and make changes that move toward inner personal growth. 
    The high level nrcisist comes to us as a beautifully wrapped package. When you unwrap it, going through the layers, you find more image not substance. Narcissists convince most people that what they are seeing and experiencing in them is real. They believe and are taken in by the elaborate series of personas . In the beginning of a "relationship" with a high level narcissist most people are dazzled by this person's charm, their powerful personality vibration, the way they are fixated on you. They pay constant attention to you that is flattering and often spell binding. They have been studying youand know how you think and what you most desire. They know your weaknesses and impulsivities. They intend to becom unforgettable to you. High level narcissists are inclined to ossess those whom they choose to be part of their inner circle. We want to believe that we are the most important person in the world to this irresistible individual. We all want to be "the One." That is a deep desire within us as human beings. If we take this elaborate bait and are carried up and give ourelves to the narcissist we are becoming prt of his/her world. We feel giddy with this level of attention and the feeling that we can have anything we want. When we are finally seduced and joing the narcissit through marriage or partnership, we share his/her life on their terms. That's the agreeement. High level narcissists make deal not true relationships. 
    After being married to or partnered with a high level narcisisist we notice significan cracks in the too good to be true image. There are bursts of rage that come from nowhere. We are criticized for something we didn't do; the narcissist verbally picks at us incessantly, putting us down with cruel comments and hateful glances. We try to please him. Nothing works. What you are experiencing is the dark core of the narcissist behind the mask--that prt of the self that is seething beneath the surface. Those who live with him when the doors and windos are shut are subjected to the Jekyll/Hyde treatment. It is an ugly and frightening experience. Mr. Hyde is out, glowering up close at your face; projecting his psychological sputum on to you. The screaming starts and never seems to end; accusations fly defamations spew; threats charge the air. How much more of this re you willing to take. Hopefull, you can say to yourself: "I will not put up with this raw abuse any longer. I have had more than enough." 
    This is your moment of awakening, clarity, discernment--the truth!  Through this insightful opening you come forth again as a unique individual--independent, strong, grounded.  You are moving forward along your own pathways. The winds are at your back; the day is fair and clear.  
    Click below to view and purchase my print book: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist on Amazon:
    https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam
    Click below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a  tremendous group of  shows: podcasts and podcasters on every facet of Mental Health. I am deeply honored

    • 8 min
    Divorcing A Covert Narcissist - Prepare Yourself for a Psychological and Emotional Marathon

    Divorcing A Covert Narcissist - Prepare Yourself for a Psychological and Emotional Marathon

    Divorcing A covert Narcissist is replete with many challenges: psychological, emotional, financial.
    I have great respect for those who have been married to covert narcissits and are now facing the battles, the subterfuges, psychological ambushes, the deep cruelties that are involved in divorcing a narcissistic personality.  Particularly with the covert narcissist, this is a thorny set of issues. The overt grandiose narcissist, so obviously self absorbed, over the top, boorish, loud, in your face is obvious. We know who we are dealing with. 
    Divorcing any narcissist is highly problematic. Divorcing a covert narcissist is complicated by the believeable phony personas that they use so skillfully to make most people think that they are individuals of fine character, deep caring, kind, fair, empathic.
    Those who are divorcing a covert narcissist have had a tough time througout the marriage recognizing the true nature of their marital partner. So successful is the facade worn by the covert. This is one reason why partners hesitate to divorce these individuals since they spent years rationalizing that their spouse was a good preson and they were to blame for everything that went wrong with the marriage. It can take decades for a non narcissistic partner to recognize that he or she has been psychologically and emotionally abused by these highly psychopathological individuals.
    It is important to understand the covert narcissist's cold, aggressive thinking. They do everything possible to wear you down, to break you emotionally, psychologically and financially.
    They are determined to make you the villain, the uncooperative one, the person who is psychologicallyimpaired and uncooperative. 
    The covert narcissist is determined to rattle your nerves at all times by calling or texting you, even late at night. 
    The covert applies constant stress and pessure by refusing to negotiate or settle the divorce. They are known to drag out the process. This allows them to make you weaker and therefore to manipulate and control your feelings of fear and desperation. This is done to get you to capitulate to their will of getting everything that they want.
    Getting through the divorce process---Winning the marathon.
    Choose an attorney who is your true advocate: knowledgeable, fine character, easily available. The attorney must have an understand of highly manipulative, lying deceitful individuals. 
    Keep detailed records of all assets including, properties, trusts, bank accounts, cash, investments, expenses. 
    Know that you are going to get through this long race and that you will be victorious. 
    Practice consistent self care: good sleep, rest when you can, nourishing food, good hydration, exercise that works for you, expressive writing, time in Nature, creative activities that are rewarding. Spend time with friends you trust. 
    Give yourself tremendous credit for running and winning the full divorce marathon from a covert narcissist spouse. 
    Click below for my new print book of Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist on Amazon
    https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam
    Click below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a high quality and comprehensive group of shows of podcasts on every facet of mental health. I am honored to have my show: The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast on this magnificent network. 
     
    www.mhnrnetwork.com
     

    • 9 min
    Rage and Restlessness - High Level Narcissists' Close Companions

    Rage and Restlessness - High Level Narcissists' Close Companions

    The high level narcissists is always boiling over with rage at some level. One incident real or invented takes him/her over the top and the malevolent projections begin.  They are directed mainly at his spouses and children. These unconscious projections cause their recipients great emotional pain. Volley after volley come out of their mouths. They are unstoppable. Fulminating is one of the narcissist's frequen activities. Being the child of a high level narcissist unsettles every nerve in your body. You are living in a war zone. Bombardments of volcanic rage are coming at you. Living under these circumstances as a small child is bewildering and traumatizing.
    Along with the chronic rage is the high level narcissist's restlessness. The minds of these individuals are never still. They jump from one activity to th enext, conjuring their plots and plans to make sure that they remain superior to everyone else. When they are not scheming, they ar running about these individuals are never still. They jump from one activity to the next, conjuring their plots and plans to make sure that they remain superior to everyone else. When they are not scheming, they are running about buying, spending acquiring power and material largesse. 
    You become the newest source of narcissistic supply: adulation, praise, social status. You make them look so good. 
    There is a time of deep insight for you in rediscovering the pathways of the true, original, creative self. Practice self care each day.  You are moving forward with the winds of transformation and creativity at your back. 
    Click below for my print book: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist on the Amazon page:
    https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam
    Click below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a comprehensive and excellent group of podcast shows on every facet of Mental Health. I am honored to have my show, The Narcissist in your Life Podcast on this great Network. 
    www.mhnrnetwork.com
     
     

    • 20 min
    Beneath the Bravado and Incandescent Charm, the High Level Narcissist is Psychologically Empty

    Beneath the Bravado and Incandescent Charm, the High Level Narcissist is Psychologically Empty

    "In nrcissistic personalities the experience of emptiness is most intense...In these cases, emptiness, restlessnesss and boredom constitute...a baseline of pathological narcissistic experience." Otto Kernberg, M.D.
    The personalityof the high level narcissist is built on a false grandiose self that begins when this individual is very young. This is particularly the case if he or she is a golden child, that person who is celebrated as perfect by the narcissist parent. This child is like a second coming, a time of triumph for the parent who is convinced that this baby is perfect, amost like a small god. The parent(s) projects his deepest wishes and needs onto this child who in many ways is considered a kind of royalty.
    The child is treated differently from the other famil member. Brotheres and sisters of the golden one aren not given the lavish attention, a kind of adoration that is directed at this child. 
    The chosen child is never corrected or admonished for bad behaviors, rather rationalizations and excuses are made for him.her. 
    The budding narcissist grows up as a false self with an outward rsona that is boorishly self confident, even cocky. Along with these attributes, this golden child is never wrong, at fault never makes mistakes and takes full advantage of others. When the foundations of the peronality are based on the false self, the individual iis incapable of being psychologically grounded ortrue. The false elf rules these personalities. Beneath the surface in the unconscious of the golden child narcissist, the foundation is rocky, empty, lacking psychic roots or genuineness. This personality is ungrounded in reality and as a result the high level narcissist lives in a state of denial along with the use of many degense mechanisms: projection, repression. 
    Those who are partnered with, married to or children of these false self narcissists cannot change them since this is a fixed personality constellation.  
    At a point of insight and due to your research you recognize that you must choose to move forward and leave the narcissist.  You decide to choose yourself first, your individuality and your many creative gifts. You will no longer be controlled and intimidated by the faslse selves, the projections, multiple lies, rages, humiliations of the high level narcissist. 
    Give yourself tremendous credit for your decisions to put yourself first, to heal and restore your true individual self. 
    Click below for my current print book, Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist on Amazon.
    https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam
    Click below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, an excellent series of shows by podcasters on every facet of Mental Health. I am honored that my show: The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is on this magnificent network.
    www.mhnrnetwork.com
     
     

    • 16 min
    Aggressive High Level Narcissist Plays the Role of Tyrant with Spouses, Ex-Spouses, Children

    Aggressive High Level Narcissist Plays the Role of Tyrant with Spouses, Ex-Spouses, Children

    Aggressive, controlling, tyrannical, demanding, peripatetic---This kind of overt narcissist is menacing, especially if you are married to or partnered with them.  Infamous, brutal tyrants from history remind us of these venal, dark, predatory high level narcissists of present day. Caligula, Attila the Hun, Genghis Khan, Naaapoleon Bonaparte
    Absolute control is an obsession with this particular narcissist. They are dictators who don't accept your individuality, independent thiking, psychological and emotional security. 
    Verbal threats flow freely when you are dealing with the aggressive predatory narcissist. They never let down, not for a moment. Some of them are like whirling dervishes, moving manically from one activity to the next.
    They are drivn to compete without mercy. Everything about them is superior and they let you know how deficient you are. 
    Being their partner, spose or child puts one in the far reaches of the sympathetic nervous system mode - the deep well of fear, dread, doubt. 
    Be part of the triumph of your individuality--the original self. 
    Click below for my currrent paperback on Amazon - Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist
    https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam
    Click below for the magnificent Mental Health News Radio Network. I am honored to have my show on this network: The Narcissist in your Life Podcast
    www.mhnrnetwork.com
     
     

    • 9 min
    High Level Narcissists Double Down on Their Deceits and Exploitations

    High Level Narcissists Double Down on Their Deceits and Exploitations

    High Level Narcissists crowd our world today. They ar spouses, ex-spouses, relative, bosses, co-workers, spiritual mentors, acquaintances. Our society rewards narcissists handsomely with praise, adulation, celebrity and social status. The high level narcissist's raison d'etre is winning. 
    High level narcissists weave grand visions of success that are designed to lead them to stashes of power, prestige and control. Winning electrifies the narcissist; it is the engine, the fire that keeps him/her going. 
    High level narcissists are often big picture virtuosos who leave the details and hard work to others. They take advantage of their assistancts by underpaying them and overpromising while they carefully maintain their elite lifestyles. 
    Above all, the high level is deceptive in all of his relationships and transactions. He bends the truth with automatic ease. 
    Some narcissistic dreams go astray. When the ride gets bumpy or the high level whimsically decides to change course, offices are closed, employees are dumpted without warning, bills, loans and leases are left unpaid. Many are left in severe emotional and financial pain. The high level narcissist is unmoved. He doesn't lose sleep over his debacles. He steps forward and pivots toward his next grand project. 
    Protect yourself from becoming enmeshed in the narcissist's destructive web. Learn to identify the highlevel narcissist. 
    Remember who you really are. Respect your personal values. Practice self care each day: rest, sleep, nourishing food, hydration, unedited writing, your special music, your creative activities, Nature's beauty, use of your creative gifts. 
    Click below for my print book on Amazon, Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist:
    https://tinyurl.com/2p92ymam
     
    Click below for the great Mental Health News Radio Network of shows: podcasts and podcasters.  My show The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is on this Network:
    www.mhnrnetwork.com
     
     

    • 9 min

Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5
50 Ratings

50 Ratings

suzupetals ,

Chillingly familiar

Listening to this is like hearing about my life from a complete stranger.
I stumbled on this podcast tonight and will listen to all of these, and am sharing them with my five children and my close friend. It’s time to break his power and learn how to live, and give my children the chance I never had.

Kimfalsecreek ,

Great podcast

I just found this podcast today and am so glad I did. Everything that is said about a narcissistic spouse is true in my situation.

Podcastwoman1996 ,

Fantastic Podcast

My favorite episodes deal with being raised in a narcissitic household. It's helped me tremendously.

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