Hearts Entwined Podcast Lyn Smith

Lyn is in conversation with childhood trauma coach Harris Eddie Hill about setting healthy boundaries in our relationships. Harris emphasizses the importance of understanding boundaries and highlights the impact of childhood experiences on boundary setting.

They discuss the dynamics of the drama triangle (victim, rescuer and persecutor), the challenges of people-pleasing, and the significance of connecting with one's inner child. The conversation delves into the discomfort of setting boundaries, the fear of rejection/ conflict, and the need to respect one's own boundaries whilst also accepting others'.

KEY TAKEAWAYS


Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and personal well-being.
Boundaries should be proactive in establishing mutual respect and balance in our relationships.
It is important to differentiate between 'helping' and 'enabling' others, as enabling can lead to an unhealthy relationship dynamic.
Connecting with our inner child can help us care for ourselves in a healthier way.
It is essential to follow how we feel about setting boundaries and not be swayed by others' emotional reactions, as respecting our own boundaries is a key part of self-care and attracting healthy relationships.

BEST MOMENTS

"I think boundaries are much easier to instigate once we kind of get in contact with our inner child." 

"I think the respect comes from... being more comfortable with other people having emotions." 

"Good boundary function is... (saying for example) it's unacceptable when you do that. If you do it again, we will have to reconsider the relationship." 

"True love starts with opening our hearts." 

ABOUT THE GUEST - Harris Eddie Hill - Childhood Trauma Coach

Harris Eddie Hill (they/them) is an out-and-proud nonbinary podcaster, best-selling author, coach and founder of the Centre for Childhood Trauma Healing; a platform dedicated to supporting neurodivergent, queer or highly empathic adults to overcome their childhood trauma and begin to thrive.

Shortlisted for the Positive Impact and Sustainability Speaker of the Year at the Speaker Awards, Harris is passionate about demystifying healing and helping people to connect to their own ability to heal. Clients take back their power from a medical system that doesn’t always offer tangible solutions and doesn’t always educate clients on their ability to heal.

Harris has survived and overcome trauma, unaccepting family members, cancer, abusive relationships, physical paralysis and mental health challenges, yet has found their way to emotional freedom and is now passing that power forward.

Website - https://www.mxharrishill.comFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/harriseddiehillInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/mxharrishillTwitter - https://www.twitter.com/mxharrishillTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@mxharrishillYouTube - https://youtube.com/@mxharrishillLinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mxharrishill

ABOUT THE HOST

Lyn Smith – (The Queen of HEARTS) – Love, Dating & Relationship Expert

Lyn’s personal story is a very inspirational and harrowing one of how she went from having unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships with men (on the back of several serious traumatic sexual assaults in her teens) to now being in a soul fulfilling relationship which makes her feel alive, is full of passion and gives her inner peace.

She has a proven track record as a Love Solutions - Relationship Expert / Trainer / Inspirational Speaker and Best-Selling Author based upon her own vast personal research, experiential learning and training with the world’s leading industry experts.

Understanding the polarisation of masculine & feminine energy resulted in her creating massive attraction and a passionate, intimate, fulfilling relationship – that inspired her to design & present her own course programmes to share these break-through relationship techniques with women across the globe.

HEARTS Entwined is a world-class service based

Lyn is joined by relationship therapist and coach, Bridgitte Green, to talk about effective communication in relationships. They delve into the importance of communication in maintaining healthy and fulfilling relationships. Bridget emphasises the significance of 'listening', being specific about needs, and showing respect for each other in our conversations. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS


Effective communication in relationships is crucial for understanding and avoiding misunderstandings.
Specificity in communication about needs and wants is essential to ensure clarity and to avoid assumptions.
Taking time to actively listen, repeat back, and avoid interruptions can improve understanding & communication in relationships.
Resentments can build up when communication is lacking, so it's important to address and discuss issues openly.
Showing respect, listening attentively, and being mindful of body language can enhance communication and strengthen relationships.

BEST MOMENTS

"Aways listen and speak with respect to your partner. If we speak with respect, then we can prevent those conversations that blow up."

"Your relationship is a living, breathing entity. You wouldn't leave anything that's living and breathing. So don't leave your relationship to starve." 

"I think quite often we're sometimes so keen to prove our point that we're not actually listening to them."

"True love starts with opening our hearts."

ABOUT THE GUESTBridgitte Green - Relationship Therapist and CoachBridgitte Green is a therapist and coach working primarily with couples.  However, Neurodivergent couples are her specialty.  She offers coping skills and interventions that allow neurotypical and neurodivergent brains to begin to work together.  Bridgitte also works with individuals and specializes in trauma, which includes birth trauma and loss.  Her goal is to offer a safe and warm environment that will allow you to feel recognized as a person who deserves to be seen, heard, and respected.  This is your time of thought and discovery.

Bridgitte Green, Associate Marriage and Family Therapist,129568, MA, M.Ed.

ABOUT THE HOST

Lyn Smith – (The Queen of HEARTS) – Love, Dating & Relationship Expert

Lyn’s personal story is a very inspirational and harrowing one of how she went from having unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships with men (on the back of several serious traumatic sexual assaults in her teens) to now being in a soul fulfilling relationship which makes her feel alive, is full of passion and gives her inner peace.

She has a proven track record as a Love Solutions - Relationship Expert / Trainer / Inspirational Speaker and Best-Selling Author based upon her own vast personal research, experiential learning and training with the world’s leading industry experts.

Understanding the polarisation of masculine & feminine energy resulted in her creating massive attraction and a passionate, intimate, fulfilling relationship – that inspired her to design & present her own course programmes to share these break-through relationship techniques with women across the globe.

HEARTS Entwined is a world-class service based on care and understanding, which is committed to providing step-by-step high-value love, dating and relationship solutions.

Lyn makes a difference by helping you make a difference; she has a vision of contributing back on a global scale – to create a lasting legacy of safety, dignity and opportunity for children and women who have survived rape, abuse and severe trauma as a result of war crimes and sex trafficking – through the setting up of worldwide – ‘you can heal your life’ centres.

CONTACT METHODlyn@hearts-entwined.com

Lyn and special guest Melody Murray discuss how to let people go from relationships that are no longer fulfilling or healthy. Melody shares her journey from being a reality TV producer to becoming a therapist, driven by a desire to make a positive impact on people's lives. The conversation explores the importance of being honest with oneself in relationships, setting boundaries, and when possible, navigating the process of ending relationships with kindness and respect. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS


It is crucial to be honest with oneself about our feelings in any relationship dynamic.
Having open and honest conversations, leading with facts rather than emotions, is essential in navigating a difficult relationship discussion.
Understanding and expressing personal non-negotiables in a relationship is important for personal growth and well-being.
Recognising that personal growth may lead to different paths in relationships and being willing to 'let go' of people may sometimes be necessary.
When letting go of a relationship, it is important to be kind and considerate, treating others as you would want to be treated yourself.

BEST MOMENTS

"Be honest with yourself. Being honest with yourself is the most important thing you can do, whether you're talking about a relationship with a co-worker, a neighbour, or your parents."

"You have to talk, you have to express yourself, express how you've been feeling."

"You have to be honest and direct. If you know you want to get out of a relationship, You know that full stop."ABOUT THE GUEST - Melody Murray - Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist


Serving clients 14-75 y.o. managing ADHD, trauma, depression, boundary and Family of Origin issues as well as adults with childhood trauma
Author of “Mourning the Living: When The Loved One You’ve Lost is Still Here” and “My Bounce Back Plan” (available April 2024)
Former Hospital ER Mental Health Evaluator assessing homicidal and suicidal patients.
Interviewed by NBC’s “Today” show, NY Times, The Washington Post, the Business Insider, "The Doctors", E! Networks and "Peace of Mind with Taraji" on Facebook Watch, HBO's Pause with Sam Jay, Texas Today and California Live
Former reality tv producer and director on several shows including MTV’s “The Real World”, “Next”, “Bad Girls Club”, “Janice Dickinson’s Modelling Agency”, etcFB - https://www.facebook.com/MelodyLMFTIG  - @MelodyLMFT

ABOUT THE HOST

Lyn Smith – (The Queen of HEARTS) – Love, Dating & Relationship Expert

Lyn’s personal story is a very inspirational and harrowing one of how she went from having unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships with men (on the back of several serious traumatic sexual assaults in her teens) to now being in a soul fulfilling relationship which makes her feel alive, is full of passion and gives her inner peace.

She has a proven track record as a Love Solutions - Relationship Expert / Trainer / Inspirational Speaker and Best-Selling Author based upon her own vast personal research, experiential learning and training with the world’s leading industry experts.

Understanding the polarisation of masculine & feminine energy resulted in her creating massive attraction and a passionate, intimate, fulfilling relationship – that inspired her to design & present her own course programmes to share these break-through relationship techniques with women across the globe.

HEARTS Entwined is a world-class service based on care and understanding, which is committed to providing step-by-step high-value love, dating and relationship solutions.

Lyn makes a difference by helping you make a difference; she has a vision of contributing back on a global scale – to create a lasting legacy of safety, dignity and opportunity for children and women who have survived rape, abuse and severe trauma as a result of war crimes and sex trafficking – through the setting up of worldwide – ‘you can heal your life’ centres.

CONTACT METHOD

lyn@h

Lyn is joined once more by returning guest Stephany Ann, a speaker, author, and attorney. Lyn and Stephany continue their conversation around the phases of narcissistic abuse, including idolisation, devaluation with intermittent love bombing, and the final discard.

They delve into the concept of trauma bonding, likening it to an addictive cycle where victims crave the intermittent rewards and good times from the abuser. Stephany shares personal experiences from two narcissistic relationships, highlighting the importance of setting firm boundaries, recognising self-worth, and breaking free from a victim mentality mindset. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS


Understanding the phases of idolisation, devaluation with intermittent love bombing, and final discard, is crucial to identifying and breaking free from narcissistic abuse.
Trauma bonding occurs when victims of narcissistic abuse become addicted to the unpredictable rewards and intermittent affection from the abuser, creating a cycle of craving and attachment.
It's essential to shift from a victim mindset to a hero mindset, focusing on self-worth and self-love, and recognising the lessons learned from toxic relationships.
Setting and maintaining firm boundaries is key in preventing being sucked back into a manipulative, abusive relationship, leading to respect and healthier relationships going forward.

BEST MOMENTS

"The cycle of narcissistic abuse is all about power and control. The first phase is the idolisation. Then there's the devaluation with intermittent love bombing. And then there's the final discard."

"A trauma bond in a narcissistic relationship is when you have all this intermittent reinforcement with the negative. So we talked about the devaluation stage where they come in and they start criticising you."

"I fell in love with his potential. We can see their potential, we know what they are capable of doing. And we fall in love with that future potential."

"True love starts with opening our hearts"

ABOUT THE GUEST -  Stephany Ann - Speaker, Author, Attorney

Meet Stephany Ann, an extraordinary woman, an attorney, recipient of the governor's award for advocacy with survivors of domestic violence, and international best-selling author who triumphed over narcissistic abuse. With two marriages to narcissists behind her, Stephany harnessed the transformative power of Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and the power of thought and mindset to guide others on their path to healing and personal growth. Her transformation came when she shifted from “why me” to “for me”. Hear her incredible story today!Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100092716308108

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephany-ann-369a01293?

ABOUT THE HOST

Lyn Smith – (The Queen of HEARTS) – Love, Dating & Relationship Expert

Lyn’s personal story is a very inspirational and harrowing one of how she went from having unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships with men (on the back of several serious traumatic sexual assaults in her teens) to now being in a soul fulfilling relationship which makes her feel alive, is full of passion and gives her inner peace.

She has a proven track record as a Love Solutions - Relationship Expert / Trainer / Inspirational Speaker and Best-Selling Author based upon her own vast personal research, experiential learning and training with the world’s leading industry experts.

Understanding the polarisation of masculine & feminine energy resulted in her creating massive attraction and a passionate, intimate, fulfilling relationship – that inspired her to design & present her own course programmes to share these break-through relationship techniques with women across the globe.

HEARTS Entwined is a world-class service based on care and understanding, which is committed to providing step-by-step high-value love, dating and relationship solutions.

Lyn makes a difference by helping you make a difference; she has a vision of contributing back on a gl

This week, Lyn and special guest, Stephany Ann delve into the topic of narcissistic abuse. Stephany shares her personal experiences with two narcissistic ex-husbands and provides insights into the different types of narcissistic behaviours, such as 'covert' and 'overt' narcissism, and explains the cycle of narcissistic abuse, including the idealisation, devaluation with intermittent love bombing, and discard phases.

She discusses manipulative tactics like gaslighting, used by narcissists to control and confuse their victims, and touches on the impact of narcissistic abuse on individuals and the importance of focusing on self-growth, health and well-being to gain the confidence & strength to leave.

KEY TAKEAWAYS


The cycle of narcissistic abuse includes idealisation, devaluation with intermittent love bombing and discard phases, creating a pattern of manipulation and control.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse used by narcissists to manipulate and confuse their victims, leading to self-doubt and erosion of self-respect.
Victims of narcissistic abuse may experience cognitive dissonance, confusion, and lack of emotional control, leading to a cycle of reaction and conditioning by the abuser.
The key takeaway is the importance of focusing on personal growth, health, well-being, and setting firm boundaries to break free from the cycle of narcissistic abuse by prioritising self-care.

BEST MOMENTS

"Gaslighting is when you manipulate another person into doubting their perceptions, experiences, or understanding of events. It is a form of emotional abuse." 

"They start getting you to live from a place of reaction. They condition you. It's like they release a virus inside your mind that goes deep down into your subconscious" 

"We stay because we think we can change them. If I love them enough, if I change all these things about me, will they love me enough?" 

"If it's moving and progressing very rapidly, slow it down. And, you know, they will lie and hide things. And so you don't really know who they are in the beginning." 

ABOUT THE GUEST -  Stephany Ann - Speaker, Author, Attorney

Meet Stephany Ann, an extraordinary woman, an attorney, recipient of the governor's award for advocacy with survivors of domestic violence, and international best-selling author who triumphed over narcissistic abuse. With two marriages to narcissists behind her, Stephany harnessed the transformative power of Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and the power of thought and mindset to guide others on their path to healing and personal growth. Her transformation came when she shifted from “why me” to “for me”. Hear her incredible story today!Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100092716308108

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephany-ann-369a01293?

ABOUT THE HOST

Lyn Smith – (The Queen of HEARTS) – Love, Dating & Relationship Expert

Lyn’s personal story is a very inspirational and harrowing one of how she went from having unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships with men (on the back of several serious traumatic sexual assaults in her teens) to now being in a soul fulfilling relationship which makes her feel alive, is full of passion and gives her inner peace.

She has a proven track record as a Love Solutions - Relationship Expert / Trainer / Inspirational Speaker and Best-Selling Author based upon her own vast personal research, experiential learning and training with the world’s leading industry experts.

Understanding the polarisation of masculine & feminine energy resulted in her creating massive attraction and a passionate, intimate, fulfilling relationship – that inspired her to design & present her own course programmes to share these break-through relationship techniques with women across the globe.

HEARTS Entwined is a world-class service based on care and understanding, which is committed to providing step-by-step high-value love, dating and relationship solutions.

Lyn makes a differenc

WARNING – 18+ This episode contains adult content, including graphic language. Please be advised.

Lyn discusses the intriguing topic of 'is your orgasm violent' with guest Tanja Diamond, a sex coach. Tanja provides a unique perspective on orgasms, highlighting the difference between forced, tension-filled orgasms and relaxed, pleasure-filled orgasms.

She delves into the impact of different types of orgasms on the bodies nervous system, and overall well-being.

KEY TAKEAWAYS


Tanja explains the difference between Classical Tantra and Neo-Tantra, emphasising the importance of mastering our energy in these practices.
Forcing orgasms through tension can have negative effects on our body and nervous system.
Focus on relaxation and building arousal rather than forcing orgasms through tension, leads to more pleasurable experiences.
Tanja empowers listeners to explore different approaches to orgasms, encouraging an open mind and curiosity to discover what works best for them.

BEST MOMENTS

"I'm always on a mission to help educate people that there is a difference." 

"Most women force orgasm through tension... You can have what I call a violent orgasm." 

"Most women can get off on their own within about 90 seconds... Men can go from flaccid to ejaculation in 90 seconds." 

"I'm one of the few sex coaches in the world that probably tells you don't fantasize... How about feeling what you're feeling?"ABOUT THE GUEST - Tanja Diamond - Sex Coach

Tanja Diamond is a polymath, Tantra Lineage Holder, Business and Life Strategist. Her 45 years of unique worldwide education, extensive knowledge in thousands of subjects, and certifications in hundreds of modalities, make her the go-to for everyone who needs solutions and results quickly.

Tanja is a five-time #1 International best-selling author, 2x International TEDx speaker and the creator of Modern Tantra – The Seven Tantras of Integrated Intelligence, and Recover Your Life, in 20 minutes a day.

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/tanja.diamond/Website - https://learningtantra.com/

ABOUT THE HOST

Lyn Smith – (The Queen of HEARTS) – Love, Dating & Relationship Expert

Lyn’s personal story is a very inspirational and harrowing one of how she went from having unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships with men (on the back of several serious traumatic sexual assaults in her teens) to now being in a soul fulfilling relationship which makes her feel alive, is full of passion and gives her inner peace.

She has a proven track record as a Love Solutions - Relationship Expert / Trainer / Inspirational Speaker and Best-Selling Author based upon her own vast personal research, experiential learning and training with the world’s leading industry experts.

Understanding the polarisation of masculine & feminine energy resulted in her creating massive attraction and a passionate, intimate, fulfilling relationship – that inspired her to design & present her own course programmes to share these break-through relationship techniques with women across the globe.

HEARTS Entwined is a world-class service based on care and understanding, which is committed to providing step-by-step high-value love, dating and relationship solutions.

Lyn makes a difference by helping you make a difference; she has a vision of contributing back on a global scale – to create a lasting legacy of safety, dignity and opportunity for children and women who have survived rape, abuse and severe trauma as a result of war crimes and sex trafficking – through the setting up of worldwide – ‘you can heal your life’ centres.CONTACT METHODlyn@hearts-entwined.com