Wellbeing Wisdom Tiny Bites Sandy Weaver

Do you ever look back on your life and cringe at who you were then? I don’t mean your style of hair, makeup or clothing, I mean who YOU were?

“I was so naïve then” or “how could I have been so stupid” or “why didn’t I appreciate them more?”

It’s very common to reflect on our lives and decide that we weren’t a terribly good person, and before you take yourself down that pathway of self-flagellation ever again, consider this: how could you be who you are now if you weren’t who you were then?

When you make a relationship mistake, you know more clearly the traits and behaviors you want in a partner. When you make a career mistake, you learn more about what you will and won’t trade for your precious time. When you make a hairstyle mistake, it’s just hair – it grows.

Give yourself the same grace you give your hair – you’ll grow, too, and you’ll keep blossoming into the wonderful person you’re meant to be. Stop beating yourself up – it’ll just slow your progress.

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Oh, don’t you hate to make a mistake? It’s so embarrassing. It’s so confidence-shaking.

It’s so tempting to try to make it look like it was someone else’s fault, not yours.

Some people are better at that than others – have you ever worked with someone who never took the blame for anything? Whatever happened, it was always someone else’s fault. Even if they had to cook up an elaborate story to make it make sense that it was someone else's fault, that’s what they did.

They probably weren’t the most popular person in the office, and they certainly weren’t the most valuable and trusted team member, either.

It’s really hard to grow in your knowledge and wisdom if you never learn from your mistakes. True emotional intelligence comes from resisting the temptation to place blame, then from owning your mistakes, analyzing what went wrong, and doing better next time the circumstances are similar.

That’s the makings of the most valuable and trusted team member!

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Do you work on a team where rumors fly? That happens in a lot of workplaces where communication and leadership are lacking.

Have you ever been the focus of the rumor mill? It doesn’t feel very good, does it? Maybe you felt like you should defend yourself, or perhaps you went to the person spreading the misinformation to get them to understand what you really meant.

No matter what you do, it’s never enough, though, is it?

That’s because it’s not about the information, it’s about the attention the person spreading the rumors craves. Stirring the puddin’…gossiping…running off at the mouth – whatever you call it, at it’s root, it’s attention-seeking behavior. The gossiper craves the attention they get through spreading information – any information, so if you give the rumors any of your attention, you’re playing right into the hands of the rumor-monger.

Stay above the fray. Don’t defend yourself and don’t explain yourself. None of this is about you, so you can safely stay out of it. Chances are, your peers and leaders know the truth anyway.

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Do you have a big problem to solve and you’re feeling stumped? It can feel overwhelming to try to decide which solution is the right one to solve a specific issue in your life.

The first question to ask is, “is this truly my problem to solve?” If not, let it go. Help the person with the problem if you can and if it feels like your help is welcome and needed, and resist the temptation to solve it for them.

If the big problem passes that test – in other words, if you answered “yes” that it really is your problem, then look around at all the problems you’ve already solved. You solve problems all the time. Are you drinking from a clean container? Are you wearing clothes that are clean, fit you well, and go together? (psst…if you work from home you can pass on that last question!) Look at your current car – remember when your last car was having problems, and you solved that by buying a new car?

You’ve solved problems before and you’ll solve this one, too. Take a breath, take a walk, and let your innate problem-solving skills work on it while you take care of other things. The right solution WILL come to you! It always does.

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Does your to-do list make you want to give up before you even start?

Many of us have crazy-busy lives with calendars that look like a Tetris game, and when that happens it can seem like your life is running you instead of you running your life. That can feel very overwhelming, and it will take a week or two, depending on how far out you’re scheduled, to regain control of your tasks.

This one simple habit will help to remind you to prioritize appropriately: at the end of each day, reflect on what you’ve said “yes” to.


Did you say “yes” to things that feel heavy or things that feel light?
Did you say “yes” to tasks that take time you didn’t have to give?
Did you say “yes” to others when you should have been saying “yes” to you?

Keep a list of the things you said “yes” to that perhaps you could have said “no” to. When you see how much time those unnecessary “yes” tasks eat up, take back that time with one simple word: “no.”

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There’s a myth in our culture about closure. People say things like, “he didn’t give me a chance to find closure” or “how can I cope without closure” or even “now I’ll never get closure.”

The myth is that closure has to come from outside of you, and the truth is that closure is a decision you make.

Closure has nothing to do with what anyone else says or does – you decide when you’re ready to move on, based on where you are in the grief process. Whether you’re grieving the loss of a job, a friend, a loved one, or a potted plant you’ve had since high school, losses don’t feel good. Losses create challenges that can be both mental and physical, and dealing with those challenges is how to gain closure.

Closure isn’t a one-time event, it’s a process of accepting, adjusting, and adapting to a new rhythm of life. When you’re focused on the future and moving in that direction, closure will come to you a little bit more each day.

Want more? Come and play in the Wagalicious Life Online Community playground! Go to Wagalicious.Life.  #veterinarian #petindustry #agriculture #leader #lawofattraction