Unbitten: A Journey Through the Twilight Saga Twilight

On this penultimate episode of the book (That's right! Next episode will be the final three chapters!) Bella picks up some important paperwork from our boy J, and then THE GIRLIES ARE HERE. The Volturi are giving us everything, Caius is a little bitch and the guard dogs are out. Mostly they just talk though but Aro is thriving.

Covering chapters 33 and 34 of Breaking Dawn (how are we almost done?) we finally get to see what the hell J Jenks is all about. Bella survives her encounter in the "ghetto" and J sweats sweatily. Somehow we had the exact conversation LAST WEEK about something that happens in these chapters? I guess we're psychic!

Vampire Avengers Assemble! Today's episode is all our YA dreams with a cool team of hot vampires with special powers. Bella is special and talented and Stephenie Meyer does more racism! Are we even surprised at this point? No of course we aren't. Also why is all the best vampire world lore in the final 10 chapters of the final book?

Juicy plot in this episode! We read chapters 29 and 30 of Breaking Dawn and start unravelling what reason Alice might have had to leave the Cullens with no warning. Bella is... Smart? And now it is time for goo goo gaga special baby zone with Renesmee meeting the extended fam. What is up with her specialness and why does everyone love this little demon baby so much?

We cover chapters 27 and 28 today with such excitement of Alice breaking a vase and Em breaking a Cam. Jasper enjoys being happy :) After a timeskip of all the happy peaceful vampire times, shit hits the fan and Cam makes some predictions about what will happen next.

For chapters 25-26 of Breaking Dawn, Em and Cam dutifully and viciously rant and rave about Jacob making himself yet again a PROBLEM. Time to isekai in to kill this man and end all of our collective suffering. Take a drink every time Emmett makes a sex comment!