Cheerful Despair David F. Porteous and David Candy

"I tried top [sic] watch [sic] this. It was beyond stupid and not even a little bit funny. Sounded like extreme left wing nonsense and trying to make it sound funny."
This time on Cheerful Despair:
Extreme left wing nonsense! Wow! Beyond stupid! Yay! Not even a little bit funny! Plus! Trying to make it sound funny!

Recorded in early 2019 and aged in an oak MacBook previously used to produce a fine Scottish audiobook. This episode has exquisite bouquets of:
Time passes, possibly on the way to taking four consecutive rights and coming back to where it was The Apple Store that used to be a Wimpy "There was never 'the' terminator, it was always 'a' terminator" The hospitalisation of Scottish Author David F Porteous The Cheerful Despair Discriminatory Gymnasium and Subscription Sex Prison ft. Tom Hanks "Nobody is gonna go to that pub" As well as delicate hints of our favourite segments Debate Bag and a Christmas Cross Quiz written for a Christmas Special we never recorded (or did we?!? (we didn't)).
Remember, if you don't share our podcast on social media, the terrorists win. Their podcast is very popular.
Now eat an orange.

Denied their sound engineer and recording studio by an extremely rude global pandemic, David F. Porteous and David Candy bring you the subtle flavours and rich aroma of Cheerful Despair from the state-mandated comfort of their own homes. Wow!
This time on the UK's 37th best comedy podcast*:
Neil Armstrong porks out! A touch of the gammons! David F. Porteous vs. Peppa Pig! Plus: Inconsistent sound quality! Sloppy editing! *Technically true, really quite a long time ago now.

Cheerful Despair takes you back into the warm, slightly moist, folds of its matronly but disturbingly hairy bosom. Other joys we remind you of in this episode:
The joy of babies - you can't hit them with bricks, you just can't The joy of employment - you still can't hit babies with bricks The joy of clowns - you can hit them with bricks, and you should We've probably put something about Star Trek in here too, you know what we're like.
Originally recorded at some point in 2018, probably. A few months before DFP was hospitalised with diabetes he talks nonsense about how fit he is.
We just keep these episodes forever and eventually some of them break out of the cellar. Frankly, if you told more strangers about these podcasts, you'd get more. This is your fault.
-DFP

Cheerful Despair take you on a journey across time and space to celebrate New Year 2018 from the comfort of August 2019. Wow!
This time on Britain's 37th best comedy podcast*:
The Brigadoon extended universe "Vaseline - For a Frictionless Kitchen" Tom Hanks in rhyming-slang biohorror shock Plus!
Only five sixths of a cross quiz (sorry) But fifteen tenths of a debate bag (hooray!) *Technically true as of 14th July 2019 according to Apple Podcasts - we've got screenshots so you can't take that away from us Apple, even if it was just a terrible mistake

I read once about a podcast that vanished without warning. When it suddenly reappeared, almost two years later, everything was fine. No-one had unsubscribed and everyone just kept listening as if nothing had happened. So, you know, maybe something to think about there.
Anyway, this time on Cheerful Despair:
How is anti-vax Hercules stored in David Candy’s brain? Shifty Un-American Owls Yesterday, all my plot holes seemed so far away “He wasn’t a warrior princess, he was a Korean man” Plus!
Cross-Quiz Debate Bag The muffled sound of three men eating Pappadums