UNDERSTANDABLE Robert Siegers

1 out of 3 adults experienced some form of mistreatment by their parents or caretakers in their childhood. If you clicked on this video, you may be one of them.

BUT as children, we didn’t understand that our parents did mistakes.

As children, we thought, it’s our fault, that we got mistreated.

We concluded that we are wrong if we get neglected, abused or abandoned as a child.

Today’s episode is a reminder to wake-up from that illusion that we internalized for years and decades.

- Today, you will understand, that it wasn’t your fault, that you were neglected, abused or abandoned. 

- You will truly feel, that you are beautiful, the way you are

- And you will learn how to break free from all the burden you might be carrying today



► Links and Resources:

Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx 

ACE Study: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adverse_childhood_experiences#Adverse_childhood_experiences_study

Download the list of needs: https://www.sociocracyforall.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/feelingsneedslist-2.pdf

List of Needs Website:

https://www.sociocracyforall.org/nvc-feelings-and-needs-list/



► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! 

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► Episode Timestamps:

0:00 Overview

1:33 My Personal "Flaws" & Challenges

6:15 It's Complex Childhood PTSD!

9:05 The Big Misunderstanding about Trauma

11:20 Consequences of Childhood Trauma (ACE-Study)

13:00 Examples of Mistreatment in Toxic Family Systems

16:20 Adulthood "Flaws", Caused by Childhood Neglect, Abuse & Abandonment

18:00 The Big 8 Symptoms of CPTSD

18:20 1) Hypervigilance

20:00 2) Re-Experiencing

22:00 3) Altered Attention & Consciousness

23:18 4) Emotional Dysregulation

24:25 5) Interpersonal Instability

25:30 6) Affected Belief System

26:37 7) Somatic Symptoms

28:20 8) Avoidance

29:17 What to do, if you have been neglected, abused or abandoned as a child?

31:40 Are You the Manipulator today?

33:00 Breaking the Cycle of Toxic Shame & Guilt

35:30 Exercise: Meeting Your Needs

37:50 Final Thoughts

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: info@understandable-podcast.com

► Book List *Ad-Links

- The Highly Sensitive Person - Elaine N. Aron: https://amzn.to/3OQEmhT

► About: Insight through understanding yourself: Our mission is to make topics regarding your personality understandable and relatable. We aim to help you to gain insight into your true personality to feel more inner peace and love.

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. See the content as a starting point for self-advocating.

Guess how many major triggers there are for emotional dysregulation.

Most of the time - Not more than 4.

BUT often people are not able to re-regulate themselves. They feel like they are at the mercy of their emotions.

This is why we today will explore what emotional dysregulation actually is

You will learn what the 4 big triggers and dysregulated states are

And in the end, I will present a 5-step solution path that you can do long term to not just re-regulate yourself better, but to finally resolve dysregulation and heavy emotional triggers before they even occur.

► Links and Resources:

Emotional Dysregulation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_dysregulation

Brain Scan: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41398-021-01666-3

Attachment in Adults: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults

PVT: https://counsellinginhamilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Polyvagal-Ladder-NICAB.png

HSP & Trauma vs. Autism/ADHD Episode: https://youtu.be/EHj_zYN-U_I?si=FFJZ9uVdqc8rdDs1

PVT-Episode: https://youtu.be/2iT8Msp8Vx0?si=6ywrlrG3K_8h_58F

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! 

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► Episode Timestamps:

0:00 Overview

1:33 What is Emotional Dysregulation?

4:00 Emotional Dysregulation & Central Nervous System

5:05 What is the Problem with Emotional Dysregulation?

7:27 What are the Causes for Emotional Dysregulation?

8:00 Two Example-States for Emotional Dysregulation

19:40 Trauma-Metaphor: A House with open Windows & Doors

21:38 The Two Big Wounds of Childhood

23:50 Blind Spots & Triggers, You don't Understand

26:50 The 4 Dysregulated States & their Triggers

34:10 5 Steps to Re-Regulate Acute Dysregulation

38:35 5 Steps to Resolve & Prevent Dysregulation Long term

46:56 Final Thoughts

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: info@understandable-podcast.com

► Book List *Ad-Links

- The Highly Sensitive Person - Elaine N. Aron: https://amzn.to/3OQEmhT

► About: Insight through understanding yourself: Our mission is to make topics regarding your personality understandable and relatable. We aim to help you to gain insight into your true personality to feel more inner peace and love.

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. See the content as a starting point for self-advocating.

If you clicked on this video, you most probably belong to the 20% of our population who is highly sensitive or has a neurodivergent condition like autism, ADHD or similar.

Still, most sensitive people have no clue that they are highly sensitive or those who know about it, feel miserable for having these traits.

A lot of HSPs and Neurodivergents seem to feel alienated, misunderstood and left out within a society that increasingly gets sicker.

But instead of taking the role of victim, I want to encourage you with this video. We can’t change being highly sensitive or neurodivergent. That’s correct.

But we can change the perspective and beliefs we have about these conditions. 

So today you will see that being sensitive is an absolute gift.

- You will also understand that HSPs and Neurodivergents are just DIFFERENT, not better or worse.

- And you will understand how you can create a great and fulfilled life as a highly sensitive individual within a not so sensitive society.

► Links and Resources:

How I became Self-Employed Episode: https://youtu.be/5TnxoNyhYQo?si=QIRdq5i8PHNoFN3v

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! 

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠Google Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy9kYzYwNTY2Yy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw⁠Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ 

► Episode Timestamps:

0:00 You Belong to the 20% of the Population, that...

1:45 Story: Why I always felt like an Alien

4:55 Being Highly Sensitive can be a Burden AND a Gift

7:40 10 Reasons, Why You're a Gift as an HSP/Neurodivergent

16:30 Being HSP/Neurodivergent is a Difference, not Worse/Better

20:30 5 Steps for a Better Life as a Sensitive Person in a not so Sensitive Society

28:45 Final Thoughts

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: info@understandable-podcast.com

► Book List *Ad-Links

- The Highly Sensitive Person - Elaine N. Aron: https://amzn.to/3OQEmhT

► About: Insight through understanding yourself: Our mission is to make topics regarding your personality understandable and relatable. We aim to help you to gain insight into your true personality to feel more inner peace and love.

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. See the content as a starting point for self-advocating.

Can you guess how much % of people with complex trauma symptoms experience this cycle of toxic shame and guilt?

100 % of them. BUT many of them have no clue that they have a shame based identity.

Therefore, in today’s episode 


You will experience the difference between shame and guilt


Will understand the shocking link between shame and complex trauma as a sensitive person

Will discover how guilt nurtures our shame within our relationships



And in the end I will show you at which position you can finally break the cycle to free yourself from toxic shame.

I was honestly really surprised when I found out how much shame there is in trauma and where to actually break the cycle.






► Links and Resources:

Tim Fletcher's Circle of Shame: https://youtu.be/IOQTfqUdypc?si=5P9juq4DH9GuhDaq  

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! 

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠Google Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy9kYzYwNTY2Yy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw⁠Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ 



► Episode Timestamps:

0:00 Overview

1:40 Shame - A Hidden Topic & Sensation

3:12 What is Shame?

5:33 What is Guilt?

6:38 Shame vs. Guilt

7:28 Why are Toxic Shame & Guilt Crucial to us?

10:39 How Does Toxic Shame Feel Like?

13:43 The Origin of Toxic Shame

15:23 The Second Source of Shame

16:33 How Shame Manifests Through Our Lives

19:50 The Cycle of Toxic Shame and Guilt

26:46 The Circle of Shame by Tim Fletcher

28:50 How to NOT Heal from Shame

30:19 Where to Break the Cycle of Shame & Guilt?

33:40 The Cycle of an Authentic Self

35:40 Final Thoughts

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: info@understandable-podcast.com

► Book List *Ad-Links

- The Highly Sensitive Person - Elaine N. Aron: https://amzn.to/3OQEmhT

► About: Insight through understanding yourself: Our mission is to make topics regarding your personality understandable and relatable. We aim to help you to gain insight into your true personality to feel more inner peace and love.

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. See the content as a starting point for self-advocating. 

Codependent people think, they could solve their emotional problems through love, validation and masking while being in a relationship.

But the truth is, emotional independence actually is achieved through self-love, clear boundaries and expressing emotions and needs.

In today’s episode you will understand:


What codependency actually is


How it is connected with complex trauma


Which shocking role narcissists play in that connection


And why in particular highly sensitive people are affected by it



► Links and Resources:

Codependency definition: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency

Tim Fletcher on codependency: https://youtu.be/yesXC_ibRKE?si=r4JO6JGdscfuJU0c

Infatuation Episode: https://youtu.be/Uk27yW1ZXMA?si=Ht_HBu-4LpN_SAO4



► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! 

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠Google Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy9kYzYwNTY2Yy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw⁠Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ 

► Episode Timestamps:

0:00 Overview

1:33 What is Codependency?

4:25 What is Complex Trauma?

5:16 Codependency in Relationships

9:29 Narcissism in Complex Trauma

11:02 High Sensitivity/Neurodivergence and Narcissism

14:20 What Happens, if You Don't Break the Codependent Cycle?

20:01 Masking, Hiding & Overadapting in Codependent Relationships

21:50 Alert Radar: Hypervigilance

23:22 Complex Trauma and Toxic Shame & Guilt

28:20 Solutions

30:00 Emotional Independence in Relationships

33:57 Final Thoughts



► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: info@understandable-podcast.com

► Book List *Ad-Links

- The Highly Sensitive Person - Elaine N. Aron: https://amzn.to/3OQEmhT

► About: Insight through understanding yourself: Our mission is to make topics regarding your personality understandable and relatable. We aim to help you to gain insight into your true personality to feel more inner peace and love.

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. See the content as a starting point for self-advocating.

Almost 70 % of children experience at least 1 traumatic event before reaching age 16.

Parallel to that, highly sensitive children and children with autism or ADHD tend to experience traumatic events more often and as more severe.

BUT does that automatically mean, that they’re also more likely to develop symptoms of a post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)?

Today, we will shed some light on the question: “Is almost every neurodivergent person also traumatized?”

We will therefore discuss

- Why neurodivergents might be at higher risk to develop trauma wounds

- And also what maybe makes neurodivergent children and adults more resistant to traumatic events?

► Links and Resources:

Traumatic Events and CPTSD in Childhood: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17485609/

Trauma and ASD Review: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6901292/

Trauma and ADHD: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0006322322015219

Trauma and SPS: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886921006577

Syrian Children and Trauma: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30630553/

Dr. Elaine Aron's Comment: https://hsperson.com/are-highly-sensitive-people-more-prone-to-illness/



► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! 

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/understandable/id1399616905⁠Google Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy9kYzYwNTY2Yy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw⁠Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ 

► Episode Timestamps:

0:00 Overview

1:58 About Diagnoses Like ASD/ADHD/CPTSD

5:19 Is Almost Every Neurodivergent Person also Traumatized?

7:40 The Gap in Science

9:18 Autism (ASD) and Trauma

15:45 ADHD and Trauma

16:13 SPS (HSP) and Trauma

20:42 Conclusion: Let's Create More Data Together!

24:15 Final Thoughts



► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: info@understandable-podcast.com

► Book List *Ad-Links

- The Highly Sensitive Person - Elaine N. Aron: https://amzn.to/3OQEmhT

► About: Insight through understanding yourself: Our mission is to make topics regarding your personality understandable and relatable. We aim to help you to gain insight into your true personality to feel more inner peace and love.

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education. See the content as a starting point for self-advocating.