Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties

lost queer spaces
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Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties

How do queer spaces help to shape people's lives?  Why are they so important to the LGBTQ+ community? What is the impact of losing these spaces? Lost Spaces explores these questions (and more!) through conversations with members of the LGBT community. Each week host K Anderson sits down with a different guest to discuss a space from their past, why it was important to them, and how it helped shape who they are. Expect conversations about coming out, going out, and getting down. And snogging strangers on sweaty dancefloors. We can't talk about gay history without that coming up.

  1. VOR 4 TAGEN

    'Experiencing Gay Culture For The First Time...' - with drag queen Tita Baby

    Subscribe to my newsletter Queer Word, where we explore and unpack a different queer word every week. You know how we talk about queer spaces as a place where you can just be yourself? And we talk about how liberating and exciting and freeing that is? Well, what if the opposite is also true? What if being someone else in a queer space is also really liberating? What if being someone else actually helps you to realise who you are? Ok, I seem to be tying myself up in knots here. So, instead of pondering that massive question, why don't I introduce you to this week's guest? If you are a fan of Drag Race, but you haven't yet watched any of the international versions of the franchise then let me recommend you go straight to Drag Race Philippines. And, in particular, season 3 because it's chaotic and ridiculous in all the best ways. And it's where I found this week's guest, the delightful Tita Baby. Tita and I caught up to talk about Bed, which was a club in the capital city of the Philipines, Manila. And, of course, we also talked about much, much more - her childhood growing up in a sheltered catholic family, never being picked to play basketball with the other boys, and her relationship with her bisexuality. I loved this conversation because Tita was so open and honest throughout. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourtitababy/

    54 Min.

  2. 9. APR.

    'The 'Gay Age'' - with Koby Falks

    Have you ever heard of the concept of a “gay age”? If not, here's the gist: the idea goes that we each have a gay age, which starts from the moment we come out. So, that means if I came out yesterday, I’d be zero. If you came out a decade ago you’re ten years old in gay years. It’s a really fascinating concept, but the more I sit with it, the more I find it to be a little problematic. But I won’t get into all that now (I'll actually be talking about it in this week's issue of my newsletter, Queer Word. If you haven't signed up yet, make sure you do before Friday!) Let me instead introduce you to this week’s guest, Koby Falks—an adult entertainer from Australia who started going out in the early 2000s at one of Melbourne’s most iconic queer clubs, The Market. It was in this space that he really got to step into his queerness—and no other place was this more true than on the dancefloor where he could feel free, open... and shirtless. If the whole “gay age” thing has piqued your interest, I’ll be writing about it in this week’s issue of Queer Word, my newsletter all about queer language and its history. If you haven’t already signed up, you’ll find all the details in the show notes—I’d love to hear your thoughts on the idea. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kobyfalks/

    52 Min.

  3. 2. APR.

    'A Queer Kid In A Small Town' - with comedian Sunny Laprade

    Sometimes when you live in a small close-knit community there is nowhere to hide. No where to disappear to. It can feel like you're always on guard, always wearing the false smile and maintaining the pretence for everyone else around you. So, what would happen if you found somewhere that you knew no one else was going to be? Somewhere that you could totally relax, and just be yourself for an hour or two? How would that impact you? Well, we're about to find out, because this week's guest is comedian Sunny Laprade, who grew up in small town America , and found an abandoned building as a teen where she got to be away from the judgemental eyes of... well... everyone else in her life. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sunnylcomedy/

    1 Std. 1 Min.

  4. 26. MÄRZ

    'I Don't Do Very Well With Binaries' - with drag king Mr Wesley Dykes

    We talk a lot about — and when I say 'we,' I mean the wider queer community — how upsetting it is that queer bars and clubs are closing at an accelerated rate. But I think the bigger tragedy is the disappearance of queer cafés. And maybe it’s wrong to pit them against each other, but queer cafés offer that beautiful intermediate step. They’re not as full-on or intimidating as a bar or a club, and they’re places where you can just be. There’s no pressure to perform, no need to match the thump of a bassline — just you, your overpriced oat flat white, and the comforting hum of conversations that sound a little more like home. One of the absolute best queer cafés that ever existed — and I won't hear any counterarguments — was First Out Café in Central London. Before it closed in 2011 to make way for yet another railway construction project, it was a sanctuary. A place where you could nervously nurse a tea while pretending to read the free gay magazines that used to exist, all the while sneaking glances at the other queers who had found refuge there too. It’s also where today’s guest, drag king extraordinaire Mr Wesley Dykes, took his first tentative steps into queerdom. Growing up between Lagos and South London, Wesley navigated the complexities of identity, family expectations, and self-acceptance. And when that weight felt a little too heavy, First Out Café was there — offering a cup of tea and the reassuring presence of a community. Other episodes about First Out Cafe 'The First Gay Place That I Went Inside...' - with Alex Iantaffi from Gender Stories Podcast First Out Cafe, London (with Ali Brumfitt) Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrwesleydykes/

    48 Min.

  5. 19. MÄRZ

    'I Didn't Know Any Other Gay People' with Steve Whiting from Hey Queer London

    I've always struggled with the word community, because it's something that I've desperately wanted - I've wanted to belong, and I've wanted to feel a part of something bigger than myself. But, at the same time, how do you measure those things? How do you know that you belong? What does that feel like, and how do you measure it? And, I think someone who has had a similar experience, and has always strived for community and belong is this week's guest, Steve Whiting. Steve is the founder of the online listings site Hey Queer London, which started off as an Instagram page sharing events and goings on for people in London to have a better idea of how to enjoy their city. At the end of 2024 Steve made the difficult decision to close Hey Queer London, and we caught up to talk about this lost digital space, and what it has meant for him over the years. Along the way we also discuss another famous lost-ish space, Twitter, guilty pop pleasures, and how your interactions with the queer scene change when you become sober. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/originalsteve/ https://www.instagram.com/heyqueerldn/

    1 Std. 2 Min.

  6. 12. MÄRZ

    'A Way I Could Express My Queerness' - with drag king Erik Sjon

    There's a reason that the theme song to the Golden Girls hits so hard for me. And, I think it's because I've always valued friendships over all other types of relationships. There’s just something magical about having that person who eggs you on, pushes you out of your comfort zone, and encourages you to be bolder than you ever thought possible. So, I loved hearing about Norwegian drag king Erik Sjon’s first foray into dressing up—back when he and his friends would go full klub kid glam and dance the night away at Oslo’s Erskin. This was well before he became a drag king or performer; it was just about self-expression, community, and joy. We talked about what drew him to drag, the inspiration behind his character, and that one time he and his friends accidentally became go-go dancers (as you do!). Oh, and—true to form—I completely failed to pick up on the pun in Erik’s name. Did you get it? No worries if not—he’s just about to explain it. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/king.eriksjon/

    53 Min.

  7. 5. MÄRZ

    'Darling, You're Gay...' - with Michael Bach

    So, usually we talk about a bar or a club or a coffee shop… or some kind of building, at least. But this week we're doing something a little bit different. We're talking about a set of steps. Yes, you heard that correctly. But, these weren’t just any set of steps. They were the legendary, and imaginatively titled, Steps that were found in Toronto's gay village. And to tell us all about them is the author, speaker, and DEI specialist Michael Bach, who may have recently escaped the cold, cold winters of Canada to live in Palm Springs, but nonetheless maintains that a huge chunk of his heart belongs to Toronto's gay village. We talk about coming out before you even know what gay is, using a fake ID to get in to the bar, and navigating being queer at a boy's boarding school. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠ Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/TheMichaelBach/ Website: https://www.michaelbach.com/

    56 Min.

  8. 26. FEB.

    'I Was With My People' - with Brad Shreve

    Coming out can be both thrilling and exhilarating… but also kind of dangerous. There’s something about that first rush of freedom that makes you feel invincible—like you can throw yourself into any and every experience, consequences be damned. Which brings us to this week’s guest—Brad Shreve. Now, you might already know Brad as an author and the host of multiple podcasts, including Going Hollywood, Queer We Are, and Queer Writers of Crime. He finally came out to himself in his 30s, when he was working in the travel industry, newly single, that he dove headfirst into queer life—taking in everything, the good and the bad. And, it was at Faultline, a bar in Los Angeles , where he first felt seen. Content warning: this episode touches on drug use, suicidal thoughts, and domestic violence. If you’re not in the right headspace to listen, please take care of yourself and come back when you’re ready. Follow me Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠ Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe Support me Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow my guest Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebradshreve/

    53 Min.
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How do queer spaces help to shape people's lives?  Why are they so important to the LGBTQ+ community? What is the impact of losing these spaces? Lost Spaces explores these questions (and more!) through conversations with members of the LGBT community. Each week host K Anderson sits down with a different guest to discuss a space from their past, why it was important to them, and how it helped shape who they are. Expect conversations about coming out, going out, and getting down. And snogging strangers on sweaty dancefloors. We can't talk about gay history without that coming up.

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