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Manhood, Purpose, Masculinity, Intimacy … Love? Join Bryan Reeves, Air Force Captain turned renowned Life Coach, on the search for wise, powerful, heart-connected men who can show us the essentials for living a truly masterful life as Men.

Men, This Way Bryan Reeves

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Manhood, Purpose, Masculinity, Intimacy … Love? Join Bryan Reeves, Air Force Captain turned renowned Life Coach, on the search for wise, powerful, heart-connected men who can show us the essentials for living a truly masterful life as Men.

    The New Alpha Male (Feels Everything) w/ Lance Allred (053)

    The New Alpha Male (Feels Everything) w/ Lance Allred (053)

    Have you (finally!) discovered the power of questioning your conclusions?

    Have you ever successfully climbed the mountains of your aspirations … only to find utter disappointment there?

    In this episode, my guest is, Lance Allred, the first deaf NBA basketball player in history.

    Lance just released a new book, The New Alpha Male, with Sounds True Publishers, and is also the TEDx Star of “What is Your Polygamy?” a video which currently has over 4.6 Million Views.

    … but neither of those reasons are why I invited Lance on to Men This Way. There’s plenty of men with popular books and huge video stats who don’t live their message. 

    What most fascinated me about Lance is that he grew up in a strict, fundamentalist Mormom polygamist commune in rural Montana, before his family left at the age of 13. 

    Some of the stories he shared about his upbringing, and more importantly how he broke away mentally from his upbringing, really spoke to me – because I too grew up with some wildly prophetic, even conspiratorial viewpoints in one of the primary families which I grew up in, which came with massive expectations about the special role I was supposed to play in saving the world from itself. So I wanted to hear more from Lance about his life journey, from grandson of Rulon Allred, leader of the Apostolic United Brethren, a breakaway sect of polygamous Mormon fundamentalists in Utah, Colorado, and Arizona, often called “The Allred Group.” – who by the way was assassinated by the head of a rival polygamous sect … from that, to NBA basketball player, author, and an international corporate speaker.

    We cover a lot of ground in this episode, from the challenges and pressures of growing up in a polygamist sect, or any conspiratorial family system that puts the weight of saving the world on your shoulders – as happened to me – to the futility of trying to keep an intimate partner happy, to the importance of questioning the stories we live in (in our own heads), to the fear and disappointment that often awaits us when we finally achieve our dreams – all that and more – in this episode of “Men, This Way” …

    So definitely stay tuned for Lance Allred’s 5 Key Takeaway’s at the end of this episode of Men, This Way …

    Finally, if you want to share feedback or share what this conversation inspired in you, email me directly at bryan@bryanreeves.com … I’d love to hear your thoughts … 

    Alright …

    Let’s dive …


    LANCE’S BOOK: “The New Alpha Male”


    • 1 Std. 5 Min.
    A Man Without A Father’s Praise (Never Feels Successful Enough) (052)

    A Man Without A Father’s Praise (Never Feels Successful Enough) (052)

    Have you struggled to feel successful (enough)?

    Have you struggled in relationship when you were professionally unfulfilled?

    Did you know that a dad’s essential gift to a child is to instill both the drive to succeed, and the understanding that you’re already (always) successful?

    My father’s in town.

    Now I love my dad, but like most men, particularly those who grew up with their father mostly not present, and even many who grew up WITH their father present, we have a complicated relationship as adults.

    As I said, I love the man, but I also harbor a deep-seated resentment, even rage, that really I know now just covers over a profound sadness that may never be healed. In fact, I believe the way I have lived my entire life, particularly as an adult, has been shaped by my roller coaster relationship with my overwhelmingly absent father, and in some ways that surely have served me well, such as my endless drive to accomplish whatever I set my mind to because I know no one else is gonna step in and do it for me, and yet in other ways that have been just utterly debilitating, such as my endless pursuit of some measure of success that has eluded me, and I know will continue to elude me, forever.

    Today I’m diving into one of my recent popular blogs, A Man Without A Father’s Praise (Never Feels Successful Enough)

    My dad is a brilliant man, a man who’s spent the last 40 years of his life working alongside my step-mother to make energy medicine technologies into real and viable products we can use today to help the human body heal. These technologies aren’t too far off from the kind of thing you’d see in a sci-fi TV show like Star Trek. I worked with them back in 2003 to help grow one of their signature products into a 50 million dollar company.

    Oprah Winfrey loved that product, and featured it twice on her famous favorite-things audience giveaway shows in both 2003 and 2005. She even invited us on her show to talk about this technology, and when our Public Relations spokesperson completely miffed on one of Oprah’s questions in front of a live audience, I immediately stepped in and spent the next few minutes talking to Oprah about mind-body energy science, how our thoughts and feelings can affect the rhythm and beat of the hearts in our chests, and how we are all connected to our environments, and to each other, through invisible electromagnetic fields that have real impact on us – and I know this all may sound a bit woo-woo to you, and to some degree the science of it all still is, but I’ll tell you, in the words of our vice president who was sitting next to me that day on the Oprah Show, and whose primary character trait was shrewd observer of everything … I had Oprah enraptured.

    After the show, I spent another few minutes back stage talking with Oprah – you can see the picture of us taken that day on my website on my story page. On our way back to the hotel that cold day in Chicago, our Vice President told me she was going to make me the International Spokesperson for our company.

    Something I had no training for, because up until that point I’d mostly spent working on other aspects of the business. As the technology research the director for the company, I worked with the Miami Dolphins football team for a year. They had agreed to let us study how our product impacted the performance of their players.

    I also served as the head of customer service, building up our customer service department essentially from nothing. Oprah featured our product just 6 months after we launched it. Especially in those days, when Oprah featured your product on her show before you were ready for big sales numbers, and before you had a customer service department, well, it was too late to get ready. Building that customer service department even as Oprah promoted it...

    • 34 Min.
    Don’t Let Ambition Ruin Your Happiness w/ Brenden (Bam!) Durell (051)

    Don’t Let Ambition Ruin Your Happiness w/ Brenden (Bam!) Durell (051)

    Can you tell a better story about your greatest disappointments?

    Could ambition be getting in the way of you (actually) enjoying your life?

    Did you know cacao – REAL cacao – can help you connect with an intimate partner, and with yourself?

    Brendan Durell aka BAM! is a new friend of mine whom I first met at a meeting of a small private men’s group called MAN CAVE ELITE, brought together by our mutual friend, Preston Smiles.

    A former professional baseball player, who’s still got that big burly athletic physique, Bam is ALL heart.

    You’ll find out why he’s nicknamed Bam in this episode, but the work he’s up to in the world today is essentially all about helping Humanity awaken to a new understanding of the distinction between cultural masculinity and sacred masculinity.

    He regularly collaborates and works alongside transformational figures and organizations such as the Conscious Man Brotherhood, Sacred Sons, Preston Smiles, Prince Ea, and others…

    In this episode, Bam and I talk about our cross-cultural experiences of happiness, how ambition often gets in the way; we talk about the gift of disappointment, about the healing power of cacao – not that Nestle or Hershey crap only pretending to be chocolate so those company’s can make more profit – no, we’re talking about direct-trade from the source cacao complete with enriching cocoa-butter solids, consuming THAT intoxicating elixir for richer, deeper connections to yourself and others … hmmm??? … we talk about all that and more in this episode of “Men, This Way” …

    So definitely stay tuned for Brendan Durell aka BAM!’s 5 Key Takeaway’s at the end.

    Alright …

    Let’s dive …


    Bam on Instagram: innerlightwarrior

    Official Website: https://brendendurell.com/

    Order Keith’s Cacao

    • 54 Min.
    The Heart Knows w/ Arjuna O’Neal

    The Heart Knows w/ Arjuna O’Neal

    Ever struggle with forgiveness?

    Can you stay in your heart, even when facing someone who hates you?

    Are you open to an essential, profound conversation between two men on racism?

    In this episode, my guest, Arjuna O’Neal … and I mine these questions and more for useful insights to make a meaningful difference in your life … and we have an essential, profound conversation between two men, one white, one black – or as Arjuna prefers to say, one melanated, one non-melanated – on racism.

    Arjuna O’Neal is a profoundly wise man. 

    Growing up in Detroit, MI, as the son of a notorious drug dealer in Detroit, Arjuna’s early life was just steeped in many of the tragic circumstances that countless young black men live with daily in these United States of America. 

    I met Arjuna last year through a small, private men’s group, called Man Cave Elite, brought together by our mutual friend Preston Smiles. Since meeting him, the conversations we’ve shared and the explorations we’ve plunged into have revealed to me exquisite depths of experience and wisdom in this man. 

    In this episode you’re going to hear his story of being shot, his practices around forgiveness, and how he stays in his heart even in the face of men and women, including police, who may be targeting him because of his skin tone.

    I originally recorded this on an Instagram live with Arjuna – and although the sound quality is a little different than my typical episodes, it nonetheless flows like a typical episode, very little audience interruption so you should be able to enjoy our conversation, and be deeply moved and inspired by it, as you would any other episode of Men, This Way. Also, it’s a little longer conversation than normal, but I chose to feature it in its entirety because Arjuna has profound, lived wisdom to share with us.

    So please stay tuned all the way through to the end of this episode of Men, This Way …

    Alright …

    Let’s dive …


    Arjuna on Instagram

    DONATE to Arjuna’s Non-Profit, SHARE-NECESSITIES

    • 1 Std. 58 Min.
    You’re Hurt. I’m Angry. Now What? w/ Figs O’Sullivan (049)

    You’re Hurt. I’m Angry. Now What? w/ Figs O’Sullivan (049)

    Is relationship conflict your ongoing nemesis?

    Have you ever been accused of not being sensitive?

    Do you really understand empathy (and why it’s essential)?

    In this episode, my guest, Figs O’Sullivan, and I mine these questions and more for useful insights to make a meaningful difference in your life.

    “Fiachre” O’Sullivan … otherwise known as Figs … is the founder of Empathi (i) which is essentially a program, or a method, that teaches couples how to resolve conflict by way of learning empathy. Figs is a Husband and dad to two little ones, and  a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in emotion focused therapy … 

    Now, I learned of Figs’ work actually through my partner, Silvy Khoucasian … she’s been a big fan of his work for years, and has been telling for me for some time to have him on my show … well, like any proud, stubborn man, I decide who’s on my show … and like many a proud, stubborn man, eventually I realized that my lady is right. When his team reached out to me not long ago, I decided to finally learn more about what he’s up to, and I just finally knew immediately what she’d been telling for years: Figs is a wise man doing important work to help couples navigate conflict by teaching them how to create connection in difficult moments. 

    I really enjoyed this conversation with Figs. In this episode we talk about conflict, about the myth of men’s emotional sensitivity (that actually men are deeply sensitive); we talk a lot about empathy, why it matters, pathways to experiencing it, and how to create connection in moments where both partners are triggered and upset, and otherwise just unable to bridge their differences in a painful moment. 

    I hate to contribute to stereotype, but like so many Irishmen I’ve met over the years, he’s also just a great and funny story teller, and I think you’re going to get a lot of both wisdom and laughter and enjoyment out of this episode. 

    Alright …

    Let’s dive …


    5.30 – Growing up between the terror of alcoholism and the need for safety and connection

    13.00 – What is empathy?

    16.00 – Allowing your different perspectives to make relationship even better 

    26.00 – Is it possible to never say something disrespectful to your partner?

    28.50 – What people really need to have a better relationship

    34:00 – What happens when a man hits bottom (he’s finally willing to change)

    35:00 – The real magic is in repairing disconnects, not preventing them

    36:45 – The origins (and naturalness) of feeling abandoned

    39:00 – Our brains are constantly evaluating, moment by moment, whether we’re safe (or not)

    44:20 – The importance of showing up for the most vulnerable parts of each other

    46.30 – We should all bring our “crazy” to our work

    48:00 – Men, when given the right container and guidance, have incredible emotional wisdom

    52:00 – What vulnerability REALLY looks like


    55:00 – Key Insight: Your vulnerability is your greatest strength. Whenever you’re in a disconnected moment with your partner, you’re in a systemic partner, not a you or them problem. 

    56:00 – Key Mentor: My Father, Gabor Mate

    57:45 – Key Resource: The Blind Boy Podcast

    59:45 – Key Investment: Front loader cargo bike

    1:01:20 – Key Practice: Appreciation Exercise – Download Here


    “The Conflict Solution: Learning to Love Better” … get 50% off with coupon code “MENTHISWAY”

    a href="https://courses.empathi.com/courses/the-conflict-solution-empathi-exclusi...

    • 1 Std. 10 Min.
    How Porn Ruined My Intimacy (048)

    How Porn Ruined My Intimacy (048)

    When was the last time you watched porn?

    Could porn be negatively affecting your sexuality?

    Do you ever turn to, or prefer porn, over an actual partner?

    Have you ever used porn to get turned on for a partner? (even if just in your imagination?)

    If you ejaculate fast with a partner, or struggle to at all, could porn be to blame?

    How do you know if quitting would help?

    Today I’m talking porn. 

    I decided to do this episode now after talking to a few close friends of mine who shared that they’ve struggled to kick their porn habit, which became even more pronounced during their solo time in quarantine.

    I get it. I believe the use porn for self-pleasure may be one of the most difficult issues a man may face in his lifetime, given the ubiquity of it, and given it can satisfy, at least psychologically, our biological need to ejaculate into another human. After all porn has literally become an endless stream of visually appealing sexual partners living in the very palm of our hands, ready to get down at a moment’s notice!

    Which can have very real consequences for our relationships with the actual humans in our midst.

    So we men need to talk about this. 

    Women, if you’re listening, I only ask that you hold what you’re about to hear in this episode with compassion. Just know, this is a really challenging issue for a man, for all kinds of reasons. If you’re with a partner who’s using porn and you don’t like it, it’s helpful to find ways to talk about it, as partners, that aren’t merely directive or shaming or blaming, but that are still honoring of your experience, too. I know, so many women are negatively affected by their partner’s use of porn … and so often that partner won’t even acknowledge it.

    If porn is a real problem in your relationship, I encourage you to get support, whether from a coach, or therapist, even someone who really specializes in this. 

    Just know this: it doesn’t have to be diagnosed as an “addiction” for it to nonetheless be harmful to the relationship.

    It’s important to me that you know I do not promote sexual shaming in any way, and I am not anti-porn. In this episode, I’m simply going to invite you to explore how online pornography might affect the experience and expression of your sexuality, and impact your relationship. 

    Because for a time, in my late 30s and early 40s, it sure f****d up my sexuality, so to speak, and negatively affected my intimate relationships with women.

    Back in 2014 I wrote a few blogs about my personal experience with pornography that were both wildly popular, and also controversial. Read by millions of people all over the world, republished on other blog sites and shared across social media, while many men AND women could relate to my experience, whether they themselves were or had experienced some form of negative affects of using porn, or whether they had a partner who was using porn and it caused problems in the relationship. Still, not everyone agreed with my conclusions that porn was bad for a man’s sexual health. 

    In this episode, I’m gonna share my experience with what I’ll call a mild porn addiction, including what happened to my body, that scared the living shit out of me, which was why I quit using porn, and why I generally think you should, too. I’ll share 6 reasons why I believe men should quit porn, and I’ll also share 5 warning signs that, if you’re experiencing any of them, you should seriously consider giving up using porn, because it ain’t serving you.

    Of course, who am I to tell another man what he should or shouldn’t think or do, so in the end this is obviously your call to make.

    I’m a heterosexual man, so I speak to my experience with porn through a male heterosexual filter. If you’re a woman, or don’t see through my particular filter, well, I’ve no doubt this will be a profound ep

    • 49 Min.


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