Teenage Kicks Podcast Helen Wills

We've talked a lot about anxiety [https://zencastr.com/z/aRNrH8k7] on the podcast. In this episode, Marneta Viegas talks about how "crippling" self-esteem got the better of her as a teenager. If this is you - or your child - have a listen, and find out what can be done to help teenagers relax. 

Marneta tells me about her father's sudden death when she was a teenager, and how that filled her with guilt - another self-esteem thief. 

19:20 - Strategies for improving self-esteem and helping teenagers relax

Who is Marneta Viegas?

Marneta is the founder of Relax Kids Ltd [https://relaxkids.com/] - a leading expert on children's relaxation. She has been running her relaxation programme for the last 25 years and it has helped over 5 million children at home and in school. Marneta has written 20 children's meditation books and has recorded over 500 meditation audios. She has developed a unique (award winning) 7 step method to teach children to self-regulate and manage their anxiety. Marneta's father died suddenly when she was 18, just before she went to university. I'm going to ask her about her relaxation programme, and for her tips on how – as parent's – we can help our teens learn to relax more.

More teenage parenting from Helen Wills:

Helen wills is a teen mental health podcaster and blogger at Actually Mummy [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/], a resource for midlife parents of teens.

Thank you for listening! Subscribe [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/teenage-kicks-podcast/id1501488455] to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear new episodes. If you have a suggestion for the podcast please email teenagekickspodcast@gmail.com.

There are already stories from fabulous guests about difficult things that happened to them as teenagers - including losing a parent [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-do-you-cope-loss-parent-when-youre-teenager-ryan/id1501488455?i=1000495564421], becoming a young carer [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/danielle-on-being-a-young-carer-for-her-alcoholic-mum/id1501488455?i=1000468538022], and being hospitalised with mental health problems [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/emma-bradley-on-being-hospitalised-mental-health-problems/id1501488455?i=1000470008123] - and how they overcame things to move on with their lives.

You can find more from Helen Wills on parenting teenagers on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] and Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] @iamhelenwills.

For information on your data privacy please visit Zencastr's policy page [https://zencastr.com/privacy-policy]

Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about yourself or a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional.

"Loneliness is a condition that's just as bad for you as cancer", says Dr Richard Pile, a GP and specialist in loneliness. He goes on to say that the age bracket most affected by loneliness is young adults aged 16-24. 

Loneliness at a young age can leave mental health 'scars' in the same way that physical injuries stay with us for the rest of our lives. So it's important to help our teenagers identify when they're lonely, and learn what to do about it. 

What can we do to prevent loneliness in teenagers? 

* Try to mitigate the effects of academic pressure. Richard sees a lot of teenagers who are isolating thanks to the stress of expectations from schools and ambitious families. We need to help our kids work out what makes them happy, and encourage them to spend time doing more of that.  
* Help them realise that feeling lonely at times is normal. Boredom, stress and loneliness help kids learn who they are and work out what they want to do next. It's only a problem when it's long-term. 
* Digital connection is valuable [https://zencastr.com/z/z7fMD-Rv] (especially during the pandemic) but a lot of young people got out of the habit of connecting in a physical space because of the ease of online interactions. We need to help our kids learn how to enjoy being with other people more often.
* Fight the "cult of the individual". Wellbeing comes from interdependency with friends and family - community.  

Who is Dr Richard Pile? 

Richard is an NHS GP specialising in Lifestyle Medicine and Cardiology. Outside of the surgery, his other jobs include promoting lifestyle medicine amongst the public and health professionals, training & appraisal, and being a mentor and coach.

He has written for the national press and the British Medical Journal and is the author of a book on wellbeing.

More from Richard : 

* Listen to Richard's TEDx talk on loneliness in young adults [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPsvOd-kwVU]. 
* Get Richard's book Fit For Purpose [https://amzn.to/3U7eiRz] (affiliate link)
* His website Feel Good For Life [https://feelgoodforlife.uk/]
* Other links [https://linktr.ee/DrRichardPile], including Richard's newsletter, podcast and social media

More from Helen Wills:

Helen wills is a teen mental health podcaster and blogger at Actually Mummy [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/], a resource for midlife parents of teens.

Thank you for listening! Subscribe [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/teenage-kicks-podcast/id1501488455] to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear new episodes. If you have a suggestion for the podcast please get in touch [https://actuallymummy.co.uk/about/contact/].

You can find more from Helen Wills on parenting teenagers on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] and Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] @iamhelenwills.

For information on your data privacy please visit Zencastr's policy page [https://zencastr.com/privacy-policy]

Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about yourself or a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional.

Episode produced by Michael J Cunningham [https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-j-cunningham-245586266/].

In this episode, we talk about academic pressure and the anxiety it can create for our teenagers. But more than that, we talk about FAILURE. Fear of failure, what failure really means, and how to help our teenagers when they think they've failed. 

Amelie Moore is a former language teacher who thinks it's vital that kids learn to fail. Amelie says teenagers need to know that failure is not the end of the road, and that offering a safe, non-judgmental space for them to make mistakes and reflect, is how they will learn how to reach their goals and overcome challenges in their own way.

As someone who felt overwhelmed by academic anxiety in her own teenage years, Amelie believes there's a different way to help teenagers succeed whatever their school record.

She says to teenagers listening: "You are not broken, you don't need fixing, you are amazing, unique individuals full of potential."

Get more from Amélie Moore?

* Amélie's website It's Mindcraft [https://itsmindcraft.com/] coaching

More from Helen Wills:

Helen wills is a teen mental health podcaster and blogger at Actually Mummy [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/], a resource for midlife parents of teens.

Thank you for listening! Subscribe [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/teenage-kicks-podcast/id1501488455] to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear new episodes. If you have a suggestion for the podcast please get in touch [https://actuallymummy.co.uk/about/contact/].

You can find more from Helen Wills on parenting teenagers on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] and Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] @iamhelenwills.

For information on your data privacy please visit Zencastr's policy page [https://zencastr.com/privacy-policy]

Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about yourself or a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional.

Episode produced by Michael J Cunningham [https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-j-cunningham-245586266/].

TW: Self-harm

My guest  for this episode goes by the name of That Hoarder.

As a compulsive hoarder, she says she struggles with many aspects of hoarding behaviours, which she talks about on her own podcast That Hoarder - the first ever podcast by somebody who actually hoards rather than by a professional. She started her podcast to keep herself accountable and to help others with this stigmatised and hidden condition, as well as to raise awareness of hoarding disorder.

She says that very stigma is why she does this anonymously. This is a sensationalised and shamed mental illness and speaking more openly about it is an essential way to spread the word and help people. While a lot is still not understood, she told me that there can be signs of hoarding as early as childhood or teenage years.

2:45 - People judge hoarding as being about laziness, but it's a manifestation of something else that's wrong. That's why TV shows that sensationalise the condition aren't helpful. Why clearing the space isn't helpful. 

7:00 - Seeing hoarding as a coping strategy. My guest talks about feeling "wrong at her core" and having out of control emotions. 

12:00 - Understanding what might drive self-harm. 

14:38 - Signs of hoarding in a teenager. Which hoarding symptoms begin between the ages of 10-20, before escalating in later life. 

21:00 - What might have helped prevent hoarding disorder developing?

38:00 - Why professional help is needed to help someone combat their hoarding disorder, and what kind is most helpful. 

39:25 - An effective strategy for successfully managing self-harm. 

56:00 - When is it hoarding, and when is it just a messy teenager? How can parents help a teenager who hoards?

Resources: 

* Overcoming self-harm [https://zencastr.com/z/Qyl7tr2X]
* Overcome Compulsive Hoarding podcast [https://www.overcomecompulsivehoarding.co.uk/]
* Advice for children of hoarders [https://childrenofhoarders.com/wordpress/]
* Hoarding Disorders UK [https://hoardingdisordersuk.org/]
* Mind [https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/hoarding/about-hoarding/]

More from Helen Wills:

Helen wills is a teen mental health podcaster and blogger at Actually Mummy [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/], a resource for midlife parents of teens.

Thank you for listening! Subscribe [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/teenage-kicks-podcast/id1501488455] to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear new episodes. If you have a suggestion for the podcast please get in touch [https://actuallymummy.co.uk/about/contact/].

You can find more from Helen Wills on parenting teenagers on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] and Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] @iamhelenwills.

For information on your data privacy please visit Zencastr's policy page [https://zencastr.com/privacy-policy]

Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about yourself or a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional.

Episode produced by Michael J Cunningham [https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-j-cunningham-245586266/].

"The only person who can help you is you"

Harriet Barnsley survived a serious road traffic collision in 2014 when she was 21. She was hit, as a pedestrian, by a car travelling at 101miles per hour. She woke from a month-long coma to learn that her best friend had been killed at the scene.

Harriet lives with a long list of injuries and is physically disabled. She suffered a traumatic brain injury in the collision, and went on to develop bipolar as a result.

2:00 - Being bullied at school for being good at her work, wanting to do well, and not conforming to the tough girls' standards. Harriet says what a relief it is as an adult to realise that we're "not trying to ruin each other's lives" any more!

8:00 - Proof that we're all feeling as insecure as each other - no one is invulnerable.

11:00 - How time makes hard things easier to bear, and the joy of finding a real connection in friendship.

14:20 - Harriet describes the incident she was involved in.

19:45 - Recovery from severe injuries and how it affects mental health. 

22:00 - Is it tough love? How parents can support an injured child - the tricky balance between empathy and resilience. 

25:00 - Why worrying doesn't help your teenager, and how to make peace with your anxiety as a parent and be present for your child. 

28:00 - What it's like to live with life-changing injuries.

29:00 - The mental health effects of ignoring the emotional impact of a road traffic collision. Harriet describes her psychosis and mental health breakdown, and how it "set her free". 

34:00 - What it's like to live with bipolar.

36:30 - How to get through the worst thing you could possibly imagine. Making the choice to do hard things. 

40:00 - How to get through a parent's worst nightmare. 

49:00 - Harriet's main piece of advice: if you're struggling with something, TALK to someone. Trying to ignore your feelings never works. 

Harriet is now writing a memoir - Thrown, about coping when your life is thrown off course. She volunteers for a number of mental health and disability charities and is training to be a counsellor. 

More from Helen Wills:

Helen wills is a teen mental health podcaster and blogger at Actually Mummy [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/], a resource for midlife parents of teens.

Thank you for listening! Subscribe [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/teenage-kicks-podcast/id1501488455] to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear new episodes. If you have a suggestion for the podcast please get in touch [https://actuallymummy.co.uk/about/contact/].

You can find more from Helen Wills on parenting teenagers on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] and Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] @iamhelenwills.

For information on your data privacy please visit Zencastr's policy page [https://zencastr.com/privacy-policy]

Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about yourself or a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional.

Episode produced by Michael J Cunningham [https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-j-cunningham-245586266/].

Human trafficking isn't just something that happens far away from the UK, to naive people in desperate situations. It could happen much closer to home than you think; it could even happen to your teenager.   In this episode I talk to Ruth Dearnley about what modern day slavery looks like and how your teenager could fall into a trap without realising what's happening.   

Ruth says human trafficking is a "global, organised, criminal business" that doesn't look anything like the Taken films, as we imagine it. Often it's framed as an exciting new job, or a travelling opportunity that looks legitimate, which is why people sign up willingly to be trafficked before they realise they're trapped - physically, financially, or through intimidation.   

Before you think about this happening abroad, it's right here in the UK. There is a high degree of trafficking in our care system, in factories, and in our farming industry. And if you've heard of County Lines in the context of drug trafficking, modern day slavery is happening there too. It often happens through grooming, and vulnerable teenagers are more prone to following the road to being groomed - when someone already feels unsafe, it's easy to convince them that the hand being offered is an opportunity. A high percentage of trafficked people have been homeless.

Listen to the episode to hear a truly amazing story about human trafficking. 

Find out more about human trafficking and get help

* Get the STOP app [https://www.stopthetraffik.org/what-we-do/stopapp/]  
* Every Child Protected Against Trafficking [https://www.ecpat.org.uk/]
* Trafficking through County Lines [https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/child-abuse-and-neglect/county-lines/child-abuse-and-neglect/county-lines]

Who is Ruth Dearnley?  Ruth Dearnley is the founder and CEO of an anti-human trafficking organisation called Stop the Traffik. She wants to create a world where people are not bought and sold, through the prevention and disruption of modern slavery and human trafficking. She focuses on prevention rather than cure, and believes that bay taking a data led and tech enabled approach, people can connect and grow powerful networks that turn insight into action, creating communities that are high risk and low profit to traffickers.

More from Helen Wills:

Helen wills is a teen mental health podcaster and blogger at Actually Mummy [https://www.actuallymummy.co.uk/], a resource for midlife parents of teens.

Thank you for listening! Subscribe [https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/teenage-kicks-podcast/id1501488455] to the Teenage Kicks podcast to hear new episodes. If you have a suggestion for the podcast please get in touch [https://actuallymummy.co.uk/about/contact/].

You can find more from Helen Wills on parenting teenagers on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/iamhelenwills/] and Twitter [https://twitter.com/iamhelenwills] @iamhelenwills.

For information on your data privacy please visit Zencastr's policy page [https://zencastr.com/privacy-policy]

Please note that Helen Wills is not a medical expert, and nothing in the podcast should be taken as medical advice. If you're worried about yourself or a teenager, please seek support from a medical professional.