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Teens, Tech, and God is a podcast resource brought to you by
Dr. John Thorington, director of Restoring Hearts Counseling in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and author of the book "Pure Teens." Teens, Tech, and God is dedicated to equipping parents with the tools and knowledge to raise kids committed to God's purpose for sexuality, the family, and the honorable use of all technology. Find us online at www.RestoringHeartsCounseling.com.

Teens, Tech & God Dr. John Thorington

    • Religion und Spiritualität

Teens, Tech, and God is a podcast resource brought to you by
Dr. John Thorington, director of Restoring Hearts Counseling in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and author of the book "Pure Teens." Teens, Tech, and God is dedicated to equipping parents with the tools and knowledge to raise kids committed to God's purpose for sexuality, the family, and the honorable use of all technology. Find us online at www.RestoringHeartsCounseling.com.

    Parents: How is Social Media Affecting Your Teen?

    Parents: How is Social Media Affecting Your Teen?

    Did you know?
    A report by Common Sense found:
    51 percent of teens visit social networking sites on a daily basis. More than a third of teens visit their main social networking site several times a day. 1 in 4 teens is a heavy social media user, using at least two different types of social media each day. (June, 2019) Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Snap Chat can be great ways for teens to connect with one another; but social media can be problematic for several reasons. For instance, social media can expose your teen to cyberbullying, slut shaming, and so much more. And, while there are some benefits to social media, there are a lot of risks as well.
     
    How is social media impacting our teens’ brains?
    In a recent study, researchers at the UCLA brain mapping center used an fMRI scanner to image the brains of 32 teenagers as they used a bespoke social media app resembling Instagram. "When teens learn that their own pictures have supposedly received a lot of likes, they show significantly greater activation in parts of the brain's reward circuitry," says lead author Lauren Sherman. "This is the same group of regions responding when we see pictures of a person we love or when we win money."
    Sherman believes these results could have important implications among this age group. “Reward circuitry is thought to be particularly sensitive in adolescence," says Sherman, "It could be explaining, at least in part, why teens are such avid social media users."
    Adolescence is a period that is very important for social learning, which could explain why teens are often more tuned in to what's going on in their respective cultures. With the rise of social media, Sherman thinks we may even be learning to read likes and shares instead of facial expressions.
    "Before, if you were having a face to face interaction everything is qualitative. You use someone's gestures or facial expressions, that sort of thing, to see how effective your message is," she says. "Now if you go online, one of the ways that you gauge the effectiveness of your message is in the number of likes, favorites or retweets, and this is something that's really different and unique about online interaction."
     
    What effect is social media having on teens’ mental health?
    Here are areas of negative impact:
    >Depression
    Researchers are just beginning to establish a link between depression and social media. While they have not actually discovered a cause and effect relationship between social media and depression, they have discovered that social media use can be associated with an intensification of the symptoms of depression, including a decrease in social activity and an increase in loneliness.
    >Anxiety
    Teens often feel emotionally invested in their social media accounts. Not only do they feel pressure to respond quickly online, but they also feel pressure to have perfect photos and well-written posts, all of which can cause a great deal of anxiety. In fact, some studies have found that the larger a teen's social circle online the more anxiety they feel about keeping up with everything online.
    It takes a lot of time and effort to keep up with the unspoken rules and culture of each social media platform. As a result, this puts additional pressure on teens, which can cause feelings of anxiety.
    >Sleep Deprivation
    Sometimes teens spend so many hours on social media that they begin to lose valuable sleep. Consequently, this sleep loss can lead to moodiness, a drop in grades, and overeating, as well as exacerbate existing problems like depression, anxiety, and ADD.
    >Communication Issues
    While social media is a great way to keep in touch with friends and family, it also is not the same as face-to-face communication. For instance, a teen cannot see a person's facial expressions or hear their tone of voice online. As a result, it is very easy for misunderstandings to occur, especially when people try to be funny or sarcastic online.
    Many teens spen

    • 25 Min.
    Why is teen suicide on the rise?

    Why is teen suicide on the rise?

    In this episode, Dr. John addresses the rise in teen suicide and shares an important message to help parents understand the current situation and what to do to help their teens.
    /// According to the Mayo Clinic, the warning signs of teen suicide include:
    Talking or writing about suicide. Withdrawing from social contact. Experiencing sudden mood swings. Using alcohol or drugs more frequently. Expressing a sense of hopelessness. Taking part in risky or self-destructive behavior. Changing eating or sleeping patterns. Giving away belongings for no apparent reason. The new study was published June 18, 2019 in the Journal of the American Medical Association.
    /// If you are concerned your child is thinking about suicide:
    If your child is talking about any level of distress, do not hesitate to ask them whether they’re feeling changes in their mood or level of stress, or having suicidal thoughts. Asking your child directly about suicide will not increase their risk or plant the idea. It will create an opportunity to offer support and let them know you care enough to have the conversation. You can say, “It sounds like you’ve been dealing with a lot lately. Does it ever get so tough that you think about ending your life?” Talk with your child about how to seek help. If you fear they may be at risk, get professional help right away. Let them know you’ll be there for them no matter what, that your love is unconditional, and that you’ll help them get the help they need to get through this challenging time. /// Ten things you can do to help your teen:
    Don't let your teen's depression or anxiety snowball. Let's not wait for children or youth to come to us with their problems or concerns. Knock on the door, park yourself on the bed, and say, "You seem sad. Would you like to talk about it? Maybe I can help." Listen—even when your teen is not talking. Not all, but most kids who are thinking about suicide (this is called suicidal ideation) tip off their troubled state of mind through troubled behaviors and actions. Studies have found that one trait common to families affected by a son's or daughter's suicide is poor communication between parents and child. Never shrug off threats of suicide as typical teenage melodrama. Any written or verbal statement of "I want to die" or "I don't care anymore" should be treated seriously. Often, children who attempt suicide had been telling their parents repeatedly that they intended to kill themselves. Seek professional help right away. If your teenager's behavior has you concerned, don't wait to contact your pediatrician. Contact a local mental health provider who works with children to have your child or youth evaluated as soon as possible so that your son or daughter can start therapy or counseling if he or she is not in danger of self-harm. However, call your local mental health crisis support team or go to your local emergency room if you think your child is actively suicidal and in danger of self-harm. Share your feelings. Let your teen know he or she is not alone and that everyone feels sad or depressed or anxious now and then, including moms and dads. Without minimizing his anguish, be reassuring that these bad times won't last forever. Things truly will get better and you will help get your child through counseling and other treatment to help make things better for him or her. Encourage your teen not to isolate himself or herself from family and friends. It's usually better to be around other people than to be alone. But don't push if he says no. Recommend exercise. Physical activity as simple as walking or as vigorous as pumping iron can put the brakes on mild to moderate depression. Urge your teen not to demand too much of himself or herself. Until therapy begins to take effect, this is probably not the time to assume responsibilities that could prove overwhelming. Suggest that he or she divide large tasks into smaller, more manageable ones whenever possible and participa

    • 21 Min.
    What can I do if my teen is struggling with depression?

    What can I do if my teen is struggling with depression?

    Did you know? According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), 13.3% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 had “at least one major depressive episode” in 2017. That equates to 3.2 million American teens. What’s more, 70.77% of depression sufferers experienced at least one instance of “severe impairment” that interfered with life.
    What are some of the common signs or symptoms of depression?
    Fatigue Sleep problems Irritability Headaches, aches, indigestion, etc. Difficulty with concentration Loss of interest in food or compulsive eating Sadness, anxiety, or feeling hopeless Sudden drop in grades Loss of interest in things once enjoyed Use of alcohol or drugs or promiscuous behavior Withdrawal from friends Feelings of worthlessness Suicidal ideation Of course, see a therapist or doctor to get a definite diagnosis! What can parents do if they think their teens are struggling with depression? Here are 15 suggestions to consider:
    Focus on listening, not lecturing. Resist any urge to criticize or pass judgment once your teenager begins to talk. The important thing is that your child is communicating. You’ll do the most good by simply letting your teen know that you’re there for them, fully and unconditionally. Be gentle but persistent. Don’t give up if they shut you out at first. Talking about depression can be very tough for teens. Even if they want to, they may have a hard time expressing what they’re feeling. Be respectful of your child’s comfort level while still emphasizing your concern and willingness to listen. Acknowledge their feelings. Don’t try to talk your teen out of depression, even if their feelings or concerns appear silly or irrational to you. Well-meaning attempts to explain why “things aren’t that bad” will just come across as if you don’t take their emotions seriously. Simply acknowledging the pain and sadness they are experiencing can go a long way in making them feel understood and supported. Trust your intuition.If your teen claims nothing is wrong but has no explanation for what is causing the depressed behavior, you should trust your instincts. If your teen won’t open to you, consider turning to a trusted third party: a school counselor, favorite teacher, or a mental health professional. The important thing is to get them talking to someone. Encourage social connection. Depressed teens tend to withdraw from their friends and the activities they used to enjoy. But isolation only makes depression worse, so do what you can to help your teen reconnect. Make face time a priority.Set aside time each day to talk—time when you’re focused totally on your teen, without distractions or trying to multi-task. The simple act of connecting face to face can play a big role in reducing your teen’s depression. And remember talking about depression or your teen’s feelings will not make the situation worse, but your support can make all the difference in their recovery. Combat social isolation.Do what you can to keep your teen connected to others. Encourage them to go out with friends or invite friends over. Participate in activities that involve other families and give your child an opportunity to meet and connect with other kids. Get your teen involved.Suggest activities—such as sports, after-school clubs, or an art, dance, or music class—that take advantage of your teen’s interests and talents. While your teen may lack motivation and interest at first, as they reengage with the world, they should start to feel better and regain their enthusiasm. Promote volunteerism.Doing things for others is a powerful antidepressant and self-esteem booster. Help your teen find a cause they’re interested in and that gives them a sense of purpose. If you volunteer with them, it can also be a good bonding experience. Make physical health a priority. Physical and mental health are inextricably connected. Depression is exacerbated by inactivity, inadequate sleep, and poor nutrition

    • 18 Min.
    Dealing with Teen Depression

    Dealing with Teen Depression

    In this episode, Dr. John addresses the growing problem of teen depression, which is being exasperated by the prevalence of and exposure to pornography. Dr. John will help parents identify if their teen could be suffering from depression. 
    // DID YOU KNOW?
    According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), 13.3% of adolescents aged 12 to 17 had “at least one major depressive episode” in 2017. That equates to 3.2 million American teens. What’s more, 70.77% of depression sufferers experienced at least one instance of “severe impairment” that interfered with life.
    Here are some other relevant statistics:
    20% of females and 6.8% of males aged 12-17 suffered a depressive episode in 2017 9% of adolescents “reporting two or more races” suffered a depressive episode in 2017; this represents the highest subgroup of adolescents affected by depression, according to the NIMH 1% of depressed adolescents received no treatment; 19.6% received treatment from a health professional; 2.4% were treated with medication alone; 17.6% received treatment from both a health professional and medication (NIMH) Based on the 2017 Youth Risk Behaviors Survey,4 percent of youth in grades 9-12 reported that they had made at least one suicide attempt in the past 12 months //WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT 
    Here are 5 common misconceptions about depression.
    You can beat depression with willpower. If you are depressed, you’re just feeling sorry for yourself. Depressed believers have weak faith. It’s easy to tell when you are depressed. Depression is a waste of time.  A more clinical definition and description of depression from Dr. John. While depression is common, is it also very complex. It is a state of existence marked by being pressed down, weighed down, or burdened which affects a person physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. There are four basic types of depression: (1) Biological, (2) Situational, (3) Spiritual, and (4), Developmental
    Some common signs or symptoms that a person might be depressed.
    Fatigue Sleep problems Irritability Headaches, aches, indigestion, etc. Difficulty with concentration Loss of interest in food or compulsive eating Sadness, anxiety, or feeling hopeless Sudden drop in grades Loss of interest in things once enjoyed Use of alcohol or drugs or promiscuous behavior Withdrawal from friends Feelings of worthlessness Suicidal ideation Of course, see a therapist or doctor to get a definite diagnosis! Do Real Christians get depressed? Are there possible examples of people suffering from depression in the Bible? Can our faith play an important part in helping our teens deal with depression, and how?
    The answer is “yes,” and as the church, we must rid ourselves of the stigma of depression. Dr. John talks about these examples from the Scriptures:
    Elijah King David Jeremiah, the weeping Prophet What can you do if you think your teen is struggling with depression? Dr. John discusses three of these points in the podcast, but here’s a more thorough list.
    Focus on listening, not lecturing. Resist any urge to criticize or pass judgment once your teenager begins to talk. The important thing is that your child is communicating. You’ll do the most good by simply letting your teen know that you’re there for them, fully and unconditionally. Be gentle but persistent. Don’t give up if they shut you out at first. Talking about depression can be very tough for teens. Even if they want to, they may have a hard time expressing what they’re feeling. Be respectful of your child’s comfort level while still emphasizing your concern and willingness to listen. Acknowledge their feelings. Don’t try to talk your teen out of depression, even if their feelings or concerns appear silly or irrational to you. Well-meaning attempts to explain why “things aren’t that bad” will just come across as if you don’t take their emotions seriously. Simply acknowledging the pain a

    • 17 Min.
    What Teens Need to Know About Sex from the Church

    What Teens Need to Know About Sex from the Church

    In this episode, Dr. John addresses the need for the church to speak to teens about sexuality as a part of a teen’s discipleship and within the context of the gospel narrative. You’ll also learn about 6 crucial ways the church can support parents in this effort.
     
    A quote shared by Dr. John:
    John Freeman with Harvest USA uttered these prophetic words:
    I remembered talking to a church’s prayer team years earlier. They had been praying with people for more than ten years at a weekly intercessory healing prayer meeting. One leader said to me, “John, we’ve prayed with people about marriage issues, problems with children, job losses, interpersonal conflicts, crises of faith, and other personal problems, but never has someone come for prayer about anything of a sexual nature. Not once.”
    I was shocked. The numbers of those struggling with pornography, same-sex attractions, and sexual addictions are increasing daily. Add in family members affected and impacted by someone they love dealing with sexual brokenness, and it is clear this is a huge problem in the church today.
    I responded to this leader’s comment by saying, “You know, I’d be asking, why not? I’d be asking, how has our church communicated that it’s OK to talk about everything else, but not about ‘that?’ Somehow, you’ve conveyed this isn’t a safe place to talk about sex and sexual issues. And in doing that, you’ve become part of a collusion of silence.”
    Several years ago when our Board began thinking about expanding our mission focus at Harvest USA, one that would focus on educating and equipping the church, I remember what Board member, Steve Brown, said: “What Harvest USA does is the work of the church, work which the church has neglected out of fear and shame, out of not knowing what to do. We’ve got to help the church recapture the calling to rescue and redeem those struggling with sexual sin in the church. But, if we do this, it will be the most difficult thing that we’ve done.”
     
    //What we talked about 
    Teaching sexual discipleship to our teens in a sex-saturated society seems like not just a difficult task, but maybe an overwhelming one. What are some of the challenges that we must face when it comes to sexual discipleship?
    We are dealing with the underpinnings of the sexual revolution in the 1960s. It promoted the notions of personal choice and unrestrained freedom of sexual expression. Related, there is the idea that we must rid ourselves of absolute truth or the fixed idea of right and wrong. CS Lewis, “We all want progress, but if you’re on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road…” Think about all the influences impacting teens today: 1) entertainment, 2) educational systems, 3) advertising, 4) social media, 5) pornography, etc. Step up our game… The danger is to feel overwhelmed and not do anything. “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Galatians 6:9). _ 
    What’s one of the first things the church needs to do in this area?
    We need to establish that there is a credible biblical message. Todd Wilson wrote Mere Sexuality and he calls for the rediscovery of the Christian vision for sexuality in the Bible Our approach must be multi-faceted: Preaching, Teaching, Workshops, Specialized Support Groups, Books and resources, and a Planned and Coordinated Approach _ 
    Six key elements of teaching and discipling our teens
    First, teach teens about sex from the Scripture starting with the Old Testament (how the first miracle, Imago Dei, monotheism, and monogamy are tied together). Consider Jim Burns’ idea of committing our lives to sexual purity, including honoring God with our bodies, renewing our minds for the good, turning our eyes away from worthless things, and guarding our heart above all else. Then we continue to teach from the New Testament (Jesus is the missing person, we are all broke

    • 25 Min.
    Part 3: A Digital Protection Plan for Parents

    Part 3: A Digital Protection Plan for Parents

    Dr. John shares an important message for parents: If you want to protect your children from developing an addiction to the computer, Internet, smartphone, or other digital influences, you need to have a clear plan of action.
    In the previous episode, Dr. John shared how the digital invasion has reduced our capacity to live a “real life” and has robbed us of true meaning, pleasure, and fulfillment. The framework for that conversation came from the book “The Digital Invasion,” by Dr. Archibald Hart and Dr. Sylvia Hart Frejd. 
    This episode will conclude our conversation about digital technology themes found in the book “The Digital Invasion.” Parents, today we’re going to look at ways you can protect your children from developing an addiction to the computer, Internet, smartphone, or other digital influences, by developing a clear plan of action.
     
    //DID YOU KNOW
    The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends children ages 2 to 4 should have only one hour a day in front of a screen. Infants should have zero screen time, and those between ages 1 and 2 should rarely be allowed screen time.
     
    //WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT
    Dr. John talks about what it means to have a digital protection plan and why it’s needed, and he also addresses some of the major fears of parents such as: Age-appropriate content, physical inactivity, addiction, screen time, unbalanced life, socialization, and education.
    The World Health Organization isn’t the only major organization that has weighed in on overexposure to the digital world. The American Academy of Pediatrics also had a committee address that same issue. Dr. John elaborates on the results of their findings and their advice.
    The American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations include: Children ages 0 to 2—no screen time; Children ages 3 to 5—One hour a day; Children ages 6 to 12—No more than 90 minutes per day; and Teenagers 13 to 19—Two hours a day.
    The authors of The Digital Invasion lay out a seven-step plan to help parents manage their children’s digital usage. Dr. John talks through each step.
    STEP ONE, lay a foundation of trust STEP TWO, stay informed about the digital world STEP THREE, love enough to set limits on using digital devices STEP FOUR, protecting your children’s social skills STEP FIVE, set up a digital contract STEP SIX, keep the internet safe STEP SEVEN, stay involved in your children’s digital lives  
    //CALL TO ACTION
    Download this handy PDF that contains the seven-step plan and also Ten Tough Technology Tips. 
    Dr. John closes with this passage of Scripture:
    “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2).

    • 18 Min.

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