The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., clinical expert on the narcissistic personality, psychotherapist and author. I offer in-depth analysis, strategies and practices for those psychologically and emotionally harmed and abused by toxic, predatory narcissistic personalities through my books: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, international telephone consultations and global podcasts. I put the emphasis on helping individuals to access the calming, restorative parts of the parasympathetic body/mind systems that lead to healing, recovery, personal transformation and the evolution of your true, authentic self and your unique creative gifts.
High Level Narcissist's Greed - Psychological Emptiness
High level narcissists are extraordinarily greedy. Greed is an extreme desire and pursuit to obtain more than what one needs, especially material wealth and property. They are never satisfied with what they have and are very competitive with other narcissists. They must be at the very pinnacle, the tope of the mountain, the guy who takes homes al of the marbles even if he steals them from others.
In our current narcissistic society narcissistic greed has become very acceptable to many people. In fact there are many many individuals who look up to high level narcissists who continue to acquire more material possessions that they don't need and will probably not use.
Deep inside the high level narcissist experiences himself/herself as psychologically empty. These powerful feelings are unconscious to the high level narcissist. Emotionally the high level narcissist is shallow and incapable of creating or sustaining any authentic human relationship.
Narcissistic emptiness in many ways drives the narcissist's obsessive greed. Unconsciously feeling emotionally empty and unworthwhile, the narcissist is psychologically hungry for the narcissistic supplies that he voraciously needs. Narcissistic greed will persist as long as the current society continues to reward pathological narcissism.
Those who are not high level narcissists are very different with the capacity to give and receive love, deep empathy, a sense of deep inner peace, an authentic sense of self that is solid, steady and filled with integrity.
Meditation - Healing and Practice
Quoting from my book: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist:
"Meditation is the key to insight, healing and transformation. It calms the mind, opens the heart and awakens the soul. Meditation takes us beyond the recycling chatter of crowded thoughts. With meditation, we reach the mind beyond mind, thought beyond thought---the source of knowing. In deep meditation we experience a vibration of peace.
If you have shared your life with a narcissist, whether a parent, spouse, family member you have been constantly bombarded by their demands, intimidations and cruelties."
Each meditation is unique. Meditate in the best way that works for you. Be open and nonjudgmental with your meditation.
Meditation is personal; not one-size fits all. Make an effort to be consistent. If you miss a meditation, do not be judgmental. Reward yourself for making the intention to meditate.
You can do short meditations, a minute, two minutes, five minutes. It is not the length of the meditations but your intentions that matter.
Noticing that you mind wanders when you meditate tells you that you are participating in this process.
Give yourself a lot of credit for making the effort to meditate.
You are moving forward toward recovery, healing, personal transformation and the continued evolution of your authentic self.
Overbearing Narcissistic Personalities - No Boundaries, Supreme Entitlement
Like swarming bees or locusts blanketing the skies we re invaded by overbearing, in your face narcissistic families. It doesn't happen all the time but once is move than enough.
Mom, Dad, the Kids!
Overentitled narcissist have no sense of our private space. They spread themselves wherever and whenever they choose. They overwhelm you with their aggressive presence. They are loud and careless.
Both parents and children are highly demanding and overentitled. They pepper you with impertinent, rude questions, one right after the other. They stare you down and scowl when you don't reply. These personality characteristics will only become more severe as the budding narcissists get older.
These children grow up with no frstration tolerance. They often scream and demand what they want in this moment.
Narcissistic personalities are fixated on the externals: their residences, cars, clothing, trips, treks, social status.
Narcissists are superficial, not deep or contemplative. When they converse it is about themselves, what they have, have done, what makes them superior.
Create your own boundaries from these brash, brazen individuals. Remember who they are and who you are.
You can be polite and civil. Don't react to their aggressiveness, demanding questions.
Remind yourself that no one can push you around or disturb your inner peace. You are an authentic individual who is evolving and creating.
You have a quiet refuge inside that is protective and grounding. Embrace the beauty of your solitude and the boundless promise of your creativity.
In Seasons of Chaos Rediscover Downtime and the Parasympathetic
In times of chaos it is essential that you give yourself the gift of ce down time and enter the restorative, calming, healing parasympathetic body/mind systems:
Quoting from my book: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist:
"Everyone is entitled to rest, solitude, reverie and repose, but most people today don't allow themselves any down time. They are rushing, driven...There are no moments to spare, even to talk with a friend..."
"Whatever happened to down time? Some of the most creative and productive human beings spend segments of their days and evenings in a quiet, calm, unstructured environment. One of the best venues for down time is being with nature. Immersing ourselves in its beauty and mysteries saturate our senses and offers boundless access to creativity.."
Tremendous healing occurs n the parasympathetic nervous system." Practice self care in the restorative, calming parasympathetic. Get good sleep, rest and restore yourself; eat nourishing food, hydrate well, find a spiritual practice that works for you, move and exercise your way.
In Seasons of Chaos, When You Regress, Be Kind to Your Baby Self
We all regress from time to time. A psychological regression isn't a sin: it is a painful experience of being unable to cope psychologically and emotionally, reverting back to childlike behaviors like crying, screaming, irrational responses: "I can't do this anymore", "I am exhausted", "I hate this", "You don't understand", "I have had it with everyone and everything", snapping with anger, projecting our raw feelings on to others.
It can take a while to come out of a regression. One reason is that in this regressed state we are in denial. Denial is a very powerful defense mechanism. It insulates us from the truth about ourselves and others. Some people remain in various states of denial throughout their lives, especially narcissistic personalities.
In these seasons of chaos it would be surprising and unrealistic for you to consistently remain serene and insouciant even neutral, considering the unpredictable nature of external reality when the ground feels like it's shifting under our feet.
You become more vulnerable if your sleep is interrupted. I know many of you have developed a layer of insomnia on top of your restless nights as a result of the current situation. Take time each day to rest - give yourself permission and do it.
Here is the baby self excerpt from my book; Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist:
"It is difficult to remember that we were all babies and small children. We have lost touch with our baby selves--the belly breathing, expressive, marvelous beings we were designed to be. Babies---their individuality; awareness levels; openness; pure vitality; penetrating, unblinking gaze and the emotional connection they make with you. Happy babies express themselves with their whole bodies. They kick, squeal, gurgle, arch their tiny backs...One of the best ways is to practice being in the moment to get in touch with the baby inside of you that is waiting to be set free. In this state, you are neither thinking about the past nor anticipating the future. Tune into your body; feel and enjoy its aliveness."
High Level Narcissistic Golden Child
Quoting from my book: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life: "In many ways the birth of the future narcissist is a second coming, the fulfillment of all the hopes and dreams of the parents. This child is the chosen one. The golden one is picks for his/her handsomeness/beauty, charm and magnetism, intellectual prowess, artistic talent or some combination of these qualities.
The budding narcissist never learns about frustration tolerance since he/she always gets his way. He doesn't fully develop a conscience since he is never tole "No" or taught to respect others, to care about them, to not go over the lines of morality.
The growing narcissist is allowed to do and say whatever he/she wants all the time.
Mother's or father's constant mantra of success and winning resonates in his ears. Slowly and surely, he is indoctrinated to believe that he is superior. The high level narcissist spends his life convincing others of his greatness."
The real self of the golden child narcissist is shallow, vacuous, bleak and hollow. These individuals have no empathy. They exploit and deceive others all of their lives.
Those who are on the receiving end of a partnership or marriage to a golden child narcissist have a very tough time.
You are the opposite of the golden narcissist: authentic, strong character, intelligent, empathic, creative.
You are moving forward along your own pathway of restoration, transformation, recovery and creativity.
Felt very nicely understood. Thanks