Thriving In Motherhood Podcast | Productivity, Planning, Family Systems, Time Management, Survival Mode, Mental Health, Visio Jessica Jackson

When I had three kids, four and under, I learned about Charlotte Mason and her principle of spreading a wide feast of ideas. Practically, this looks like 20 different subjects in a Charlotte Mason classroom that get covered during the week. 
Before we were in the formal school years, I got into the habit of discovering where all the different sections of books were at the library so I could just walk the shelves and grab some that covered a wide range of ideas without any preplanning. For years, we have had this system in place that has provided an educational cushion through all the ups and downs in our lives and given our kids a lot of learning in a very natural way.
For years, we have had this system in place that has provided an educational cushion through all the ups and downs in our lives and given our kids a lot of learning in a very natural way. I also supplement by putting books on hold at the library that deep-dive into what my kids want to learn more about so that I’m not hunting for specific books once we get there.
In this week’s episode, I’m sharing practical tips for not losing the library books and keeping free books free, bringing some great books into your home, and some of our recent favorites.
How we avoid fines and the library to keep our books free:
We moved all our personal books upstairs to a home library and have a separate bookshelf downstairs for the library books to create separation.
We have ONE library card, so we don’t lose track of the books we have checked out, what’s on hold, and what we have to return.
We try to get to the library on the same day every week so that we don’t have many different due dates to keep track of.
I try and go to our library account after we get home from the library to renew any books that we might have missed returning.
We have a library book bag that holds between 20-30 books, which creates some margin.
Recent Library Book Favorites That Were So Good We Would By Them
Professor Wooford McPaw’s History of Astronomy
Papa is A Poet A Story about Robert Frost
The Planet Hunter: The Story Behind What Happened to Pluto
Nothing Stopped Sophie: The Story of Unshakable Mathematician Sophie Germain
Hawk Rising
Send a Girl!: The True Story of How Women Joined the FDNY
Find Me! Adventures in the Forest
The Apartment: A Century of Russian History
Under Your Feet... Soil, Sand and Everything Underground
Charles Dickens (Little People, Big Dreams)
A Walk in London
Cooking Class Global Feast!: 44 Recipes That Celebrate the World’s Cultures
 

Synthia Simenson is a mother of five (almost six) children ages 10 and under. She went through the struggles that I think we can all relate to when we first become moms—overwhelm, unsure of where to focus her time and energy, and not even sure what she wanted life to look like. I hope you are as inspired by her journey as I am, from those survival years to making intentional changes that created space for her to dream. 
Things like minimum baselines for taking care of herself and her home, weekly out-of-the-house dates with her husband (a minimum of 3 hours!), and creating a schedule so she wasn't reinventing the wheel every single day (notice the 3 pillars of thriving there?!). 
She also began asking this life-changing question: "What is something you want more of?"
As she and her husband discussed this on their weekly dates, their answer was travel. They both love being in new places, connecting with people, and spending time together as a family while having new experiences and discovering things. Leaning into that dream has turned into years of trips all around the world.
Synthia's Hacks For Traveling Internationally With Kids
Plan trips that you are excited about because it is overwhelming and stressful, and you need something to really motivate you to do it because there are so many benefits
Each kid has a day bag and night bag (toothbrush, pajamas, night diaper, etc.)
Pack a swim bag with everything needed for swimming or a beach day
Church bag with everything for church - bows, snacks, activities, etc.
Make a customized packing list on the computer, print it out, and modify it according to the trip. Then, hand the list to the older children and have them pack by a deadline. This keeps you organized and lets the kids step up.
Bring everything into a dining room or guest bedroom so it is consolidated into one space
If going on a two-week international trip, start packing two weeks before because there are going to be that many details and things that go into it.
Have a babysitter come over to help with packing
Everyone gets their own snack bag that lasts for the entire trip. They get to pack 10 healthy snacks and some candies. She never regrets packing lots of food options to help with hungry moments.
Have a restaurant bag with diapers, wipes, and black t-shirts for  little kids instead of bibs to cover their clothes, and use it all week to keep them clean
Listen to podcasts or YouTube videos about the place you are going to (start 6 months before) to get lots of ideas about what you can do without sitting in front of the computer all the time (though there is plenty of that, too).
When I plan trips with kids, I skip over any blog that talks about travel without kids. I only read from sources that include "...with kids."
Have a toiletries bag that is 90% ready to go for travel with duplicates of everything
Have bags with long handles that go over the headrest in the car to help keep the kids' things organized so things are up off of the ground
Always have 10 empty grocery sacks with you - there is always a kid who throws up, or has an accident, or there is garbage - and it helps you feel really prepared
Traveling with your family might not be your dream, but I hope that this week's episode inspires you to ask the question, "What is something I want more of?" and see where it leads. 

Have you done those exercises where you write out your priorities or values? It is easy for me to put on paper what I care about, but where are my time and energy really going? 
In this season of survival mode for our family, we have really stripped away a lot of what we usually do, and it is easy for me to say that we aren't very consistent in things that I wish we were better at.
But as I sat pondering this one morning during my scripture study, I realized that I actually AM consistent at some things, even in survival mode, and those things are my true priorities. I wrote three different lists to help me get a more realistic picture of what I care about with not just my words but my actions, and then I evaluated and made changes from there. 
In this week's episode, I walk you through the entire process, using my answers as an example to get you started. Once again, I just used a Think and Process page in my Thriving in Motherhood Planner for this exercise.
3 Questions to Determine Your True Priorities:
What am I consistent at?
What am I almost consistent at but drop the ball quickly when things are hard?
What is done occasionally that you wish was more consistent?
Once you've written your lists, ask these follow-up questions to help you evaluate and make changes:
Is there anything obvious you would like to change?
Is there an easy swap from something that is more consistent that doesn't matter as much to something that is less consistent and matters more?
What needs more accountability?
What could you create a system around so that it doesn't require as much from you?
I realized that a lot of the things that I drop in a hard season, I am pretty good at picking up again once I have available energy. But there are some things that are done more occasionally that I realized I need to create systems around to give my kids more responsibility to be consistent in certain areas.
After going through this process, it clarified to me where I need to devote more time, energy, and resources to make the biggest impact on consistently living out our priorities.

When you’ve lost momentum in every area of your life, and it feels overwhelming because there is so much to do, what do you do? Often, the answer is to do a brain dump—write everything you can possibly think of on a piece of paper to clear your head. 
The problem is, what do you do after that? How do you actually gain the clarity you need to move forward? 
This last week, I sat down and prayerfully asked that question, and a new process unfolded that made it very clear where to put my time and energy to start making progress on the things that really mattered most to me, even though we were still sliding between survival mode and re-entry.
I thought about making it fancy, but in the end, I just used a Think and Process page in the Thriving in Motherhood planner to complete this entire process.
Steps For Clarity When There is Too Much to Do:
Brain Dump
Cross anything off the list that isn’t actually really important right now
What on your list has a next action step that is 5 minutes or less?
What on your list is urgent?
What progress have you made on each item (one box for started, two boxes for progress has been made, and three boxes for nearly done)?
Transfer the 5-minute or less next action steps, urgent items, and nearly done items from your list onto your weekly plan. 
For me, there were two next action steps, two urgent items, and two things I was nearly done with. This allowed me to get some quick wins and start to build momentum and bring excitement and joy back into everyday life. 
Watch this week's episode of the podcast for an in-depth walkthrough of this process and what made my list. 

Last week, we spent a week in Memphis, Tennessee, as a family while Andrew attended a conference. It was a great trip with lots of amazing moments and some really hard ones, too. In this week’s episode, I’m sharing the reflection process that I did after this trip so that we can take in all the data, evaluate the wins, what we loved, and what we would do to make things a little bit better next time.
 
Some of the specific tips might be applicable to your family and travel situation, and some of them won’t, but either way, I hope that you will use this process after you have an adventure—big or small—with your family.
 
It takes a lot of effort to pull off family adventures, and reflection is the essential step that allows us to do it again as we figure out what worked and what didn’t.
 
Here are some things we reflected on that went well, didn’t go well, and what we would do differently next time:
 
Mindset: This is a grand experiment, and I’m just here to collect data about what is going well and what’s not going well so we can make changes. If I go in with expectations other than these, my hopes will usually be dashed.
Food: We stuck to our usual road trip staples on the way out (bagel sandwiches, fruits, veggies, something special - goldfish and veggie straws - and stopped for dinner at Chipotle). The rest of the trip was a little bit rocky. Hotel breakfast takes an hour, which means it is both an activity and a lot to manage, but that is just the new expectation. We packed lunches (sandwiches, fruits, and veggies) and grabbed dinner at a restaurant, but we were all just a little bit hungry. Next time we are going to be in a hotel for a long period of time, we think we’ll bring an Instapot so we can have more food that we are used to that is more filling.
Quiet Time: I got some activities at the dollar store (coloring book, sticker book, playdough, standup) as an experiment to see if having a little novelty could get me a short nap in the middle of the day. It worked about 50% of the time, but the activities were a big hit and did get me about 20 minutes of rest. It also gave the kids something to do while we were waiting around in the morning for everyone to get ready with one bathroom. This was something that went well, and I would add more intentional effort into it next time because it was a budding success.
Activities: I started by looking at the weather to get a general idea of what we were facing and saw some rainy days and clear days with generally cooler weather. My conclusion was we needed a mix of indoor and outdoor activities, leaning heavily on indoor options. We went to a few paid museums (National Civil Rights Museum, Cotton Museum, Flight Museum, and Children's Museum), and a few of those had groupons with huge discounts. We took advantage of local parks and found some awesome gems, and it also gave us outside time in spaces where the kids could just run and play and not be corrected by us. We also found things we would do things in our town anyway, like going to the public library.
Took me off guard: I had zero moments without the kids. In the past, when the kids were little I would be awake an hour or two before them and work in the bathroom in the morning, but this trip, we went to bed together, woke up together, and spent every waking moment together (except for my 20 minutes of quiet time when they were one bed away). On the last night, Andrew took the kids after he finished working so I could go on a walk by myself (and then I found something fun and invited them to join me because it was too good not to share), but even that 15 minutes really rejuvenated me and is something we will be more strategic about next time we join Andrew on a work trip.
Public Transportation was a huge hit: It saved a lot of hassle with parking. It was a fun activity that the kids enjoyed, and it helped them build some confidence in navigating a new place. We got a day pass

When I shared 3 Thriving Thoughts for Hard Days a few weeks ago, we were not at the end of the unexpected and hard around here. The reality is that my capacity and desire for doing things and running the household are shrinking as my energy is being diverted toward the emotional and physical realities and reactions to our circumstances.
I’ve also realized that my physical energy and health vary greatly every month, and I have some ongoing health challenges. I want to have a more realistic handle on what I’m committing to. When I created my vision at the beginning of the year, I had no clue what the first few months would throw at us, and I very excitedly jumped into lots of things, but now I’m finding myself stressed by these self-imposed expectations.
As I was pondering this situation earlier this week, I had the inspiration (in my usual place, the shower) to write a Yes List. What is a Yes List, you ask? 
A yes list is a list of everything you’ve said yes to. Because I really don’t like not finishing things and seeing them through to the end, it was very helpful for me to put things on paper and look at them objectively. Then, I could sift through everything and simplify those “yeses” to the absolute essential. I used a Think and Process page in my Thriving in Motherhood Planner and carried it around with me during the day so I could add to it.
Here are five areas from my Yes List that I’m currently simplifying:
Books: I revisited my reading list and wrote down all the books I wanted to come back to in the future. For now, I’m focusing on reading this that builds my character and less on books that require me to take action.
Gardening: Instead of an all-or-nothing approach, I’m simplifying our gardening activities and making progress without making it too complicated. 
Rooms: We are continuing our journey to simplify our living spaces, focusing on reducing clutter without getting too overwhelmed with perfection.
Programs/Commitments: I evaluated all the programs I’m a part of and sorted through what is time-sensitive and what can wait. I’ve also re-evaluated my commitments, saying no to some things I had previously said yes to. 
Homeschooling: We are embracing our current homeschool and focusing on relationships over perfection. This approach fosters a deeper and more meaningful learning experience.
In a nutshell, I’m on a quest to get really clear on what really matters RIGHT NOW and redirecting my energy and focus where it counts the most. Writing in my Thriving in Motherhood Journal every day is really helping me find the guidance I’m seeking.