Transformative Parenting Podcast Paula Kawal

There is an energy we can sometimes get when we're tired and following through out of habit verses because we are all in on it and feel it is necessary.  This energy can taint our actions with reluctance and they will most likely be interpreted as petty and unnecessary as a result of that energetic reluctance.
I dive into what causes this…why we can lose momentum on our follow through and what it indicates that we must do next to fix it because we will only last so long following through from the place of exhaustion.  This is sometimes triggered by feeling that what we are doing is not working, or we are leaking so much energy out to other things we've got nothing left for those next steps in life, the structures we put in place are actually in danger of collapse.  And while these can be components the usual cause is more indirect.  We've lost sight of why and connection to the original choice we made that created this follow-up sequence to begin with and without that connection we are just floating, rudderless without any sense of where we are going with the behavior.
In this episode I talk about ways we can reconnect with our why's and use our why to inform our how.

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Do you struggle to ask for help even when you want it? Is there is some part of you that feels like you have to do everything yourself? As parents our ability to ask for help from our children is tied to their developing sense of worth and it is an imp
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if you're a highly capable super smart parent, you're likely not going to get what you need to do to teach your innate skills to your child because it is counter-intuitive and against every natural inclination of your personality.  In fact, your intelligence actually works against you here in this space, in the way you've always used it.  You need to learn to employ your mind differently to get on top of this situation you now have brewing within your family of you trying to get your kids on track and the failure that your kids seem determined to pursue.  Things will only get worse if you keep going from the mental landscape you've been operating in thus far.
Why?
Because you’re too smart to figure this out.  You're too much in your head…and too disconnected from anything else.  Because you're too driven toward your goal to understand why you can't achieve it.  You're too focused on getting to the end, to understand the true obstacles your child faces.  You can see nothing but what is missing, lacking and not there but miss all that is available and a massive resource to you in the process.  This is why it will only get worse unless you learn some new skills to shape the way you think…to take that enormously powerful resource of your brain and stop it from plowing a barren field.  You need to get control of your intelligence and harness it toward a new task.  This is likely to be the hardest thing you have ever done.
Let's face it.  You've never been very much in control of it, have you?  Hasn't this big brain of yours driven you relentlessly over the years?  Hasn't it been the one to make you pursue, rather relentlessly, your academic excellence or your career success?  Hasn't it been the one exhausting you as a parent?  Think back for a moment and ask yourself if you've ever really been able to direct the monster that is your head?
In this episode, I talk about what it was like to regain control over the monster in my head and how, ultimately, strategy and intelligence wasn't what I needed at all to get my kids on track.

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In this episode I talk about parenting for perfection and the benefits of cultivating the mindset of a parenting practice instead.  Parenting for perfection is a way of rushing to the end of things and getting away from parenting duties as fast as you possibly can.  When you parent for perfection you learn a bunch of tactics and strategies to throw at your parenting challenges and then hope to trick the part of you that will beat you to a pulp for getting it wrong into believing you know what your doing.  It's an enormous amount of pressure to carry around and it actually shuts down your ability to learn and use new parenting techniques.  Listen to this episode to get more clear on when you're in this mindset and how to step out of it.
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We are in relationship with everyone and everything all the time.  This episode examines our relationship with any given thing at any given time.
An absence of leadership leaves everything open to change…the natural result of which is to test boundaries to understand the new rules and the new playing field.  In this episode I examine the difference between trying to loan our relationship with something to our children and having them develop a relationship with that thing themselves.

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In this episode I talk about what happens when you try to level up your parenting and some of the obstacles we encounter when we try to shift ourselves to a new center and boldly enter the world of big change.
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