It’s Not You, It’s Your Trauma - Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Anxiety & Recovery - Joe Ryan Live Authentically

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Many of us are emotionally stuck at a point where we feel that our self-worth is completely dependent on our mother's love and acceptance. This can lead to a deep wound when we don't receive the love and validation we need in the way we need it. In order to move forward and heal, it's important to reach a point in our recovery where our mother's opinion of us no longer has a hold on our sense of self-worth. We must learn to validate ourselves from within, and find the strength to recognize our own worth regardless of outside approval or disapproval. It's a difficult journey, but one that can lead to a life of greater self-love and acceptance.



Have you ever had a moment that felt like a key turning in a lock, opening doors to rooms within yourself you didn't know existed? That's what Joe Ryan's latest podcast episode feels like—a raw, unfiltered journey into the heart of personal transformation.



Joe doesn't hold back as he recounts his struggle with self-hate and shame, emotions that many of us grapple with but few have the courage to confront head-on. He speaks of the burdens we carry, the secrets we keep from ourselves, and the exhausting act of maintaining a façade for the world.



But then comes the light bulb moment—a realization so profound that it changes everything. For Joe, it was acknowledging his neediness, a trait he had shamed himself for, which stemmed from his childhood. This acknowledgment wasn't just an act of understanding; it was an act of liberation.



Throughout the episode, Joe takes us through the ups and downs of his emotional journey. He talks about the heaviness that comes with emotional baggage and the lightness that follows when you start to let go. It's a process, he says, not a destination. But the work is worth it because, on the other side of that pain and shame, is freedom.



Joe's story is one of self-forgiveness and the power of self-awareness. It's about breaking the chains of the past and finding the courage to face our inner demons. He shares his process, the painful yet necessary steps to peel back the layers of hurt, and the healing that follows.



This episode is a call to anyone who's felt stuck, weighed down by their emotions, or lost in the maze of their mind. It's for those who've ever felt the need to hide their true selves or who've wondered if there's more to life than the roles they've been playing.



Joe's narrative is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. It reminds us that no matter how deep the wounds, healing is possible. It's a story of coming home to oneself, of building a life not on the expectations of others but on the foundation of self-acceptance and love.

- Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://instagram.com/joeryan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Coaching: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Subscribe To All Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/subscribe/⁠⁠



Have you ever had a moment that felt like a key turning in a lock, opening doors to rooms within yourself you didn't know existed? That's what Joe Ryan's latest podcast episode feels like—a raw, unfiltered journey into the heart of personal transformation.



Joe doesn't hold back as he recounts his struggle with self-hate and shame, emotions that many of us grapple with but few dare to confront head-on. He speaks of the burdens we carry, the secrets we keep from ourselves, and the exhausting act of maintaining a façade for the world.



But then comes the light bulb moment—a profound realization that changes everything. For Joe, it was acknowledging his neediness, a trait he had shamed himself for, which stemmed from his childhood. This acknowledgment wasn't just an act of understanding; it was an act of liberation.



Throughout the episode, Joe takes us through the ups and downs of his emotional journey. He talks about the heaviness of emotional baggage and the lightness that follows when you start to let go. It's a process, he says, not a destination. But the work is worth it because freedom is on the other side of that pain and shame.



Joe's story is one of self-forgiveness and the power of self-awareness. It's about breaking the chains of the past and finding the courage to face our inner demons. He shares his process, the painful yet necessary steps to peel back the layers of hurt, and the healing that follows.



This episode is a call to anyone who's felt stuck, weighed down by their emotions, or lost in the maze of their mind. It's for those who've ever felt the need to hide their true selves or who've wondered if there's more to life than the roles they've been playing.



Joe's narrative is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. It reminds us that healing is possible no matter how deep the wounds. It's a story of coming home to oneself, of building a life not on the expectations of others but on the foundation of self-acceptance and love.



So, if you're ready for an episode that will challenge you, move you, and ultimately inspire you to embark on your own journey of self-discovery, listen to Joe Ryan's latest podcast. It might just be the key you've been searching for.

- Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://instagram.com/joeryan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
- Coaching: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Emotional incest, or covert incest, is a topic that often flies under the radar, yet its impact can reverberate through a person's life like a persistent echo of their childhood. In the latest podcast episode, Joe Ryan addresses this sensitive subject with the courage and candor it deserves.

Joe begins by defining what emotional incest is: the inappropriate treatment of a child by a parent as a surrogate partner, emotionally substituting the child for the adult's spouse. This behavior crosses boundaries that should protect a child's emotional well-being and enmeshes them in the adult's unmet emotional needs. Joe explains how this dynamic can lead to a plethora of issues, such as codependency, self-esteem problems, anxiety, depression, and an internal conflict that can haunt a person well into adulthood.

The discussion delves into the mechanics of how a marriage's intimacy breakdown can lead a parent to inappropriately triangulate a child into their emotional void. This often occurs in opposite-gender parent-child relationships, although it can happen in any familial configuration. Joe describes the suffocating role children are forced into, becoming their mother's "little man" or daddy's "little princess," roles that come with heavy emotional expectations and a sense of repulsion and entrapment.

Listeners are taken on a journey through the eyes of someone who has experienced emotional incest, detailing the confusion, guilt, and shame that accompany the first stirrings of sexual awareness in a context that should be devoid of such complexities. Joe paints a vivid picture of the difficulty in establishing healthy relationships later in life when one's blueprint for intimacy is fundamentally flawed.

The podcast doesn't just highlight the problem; it offers a roadmap for recovery. Joe emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, the necessity of disappointing people to protect oneself, and the ultimate goal of living a life that is authentically one's own. He stresses that healing from emotional incest is a slow and often painful process, as it involves dismantling long-held beliefs and confronting the reality of one's upbringing.

For anyone grappling with the aftermath of emotional incest, this episode is a beacon of understanding and hope. It's a call to recognize the abuse for what it was, to step out of the shadows of denial, and to begin the work of building a self that is defined not by the needs of others but by one's own desires and aspirations.

Tune in to this episode for an unflinching look at a topic that demands our attention and for the chance to walk away with a deeper understanding of yourself or someone you love.

- Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

- Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://instagram.com/joeryan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

- Coaching: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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The terrible two in children is a vital step in their emotional development. It is a psychological birth that starts separation and independence from caregivers. 



At this stage, the child goes from helpless dependent to more of an independent role as the child starts to realize that they are not one but separate from their caregivers.



Allowing a child to separate, become more independent, and figure out who they are is one of the most important gifts a parent can give a child. 



Most parents do not allow a child to separate. The child is now limited by what the parent will allow. They learn that independence is not permitted, and the child stays emotionally bonded to the parent just as they were in infancy. The child will run all thoughts, emotions, and actions through the ‘parent filter.’ They never learn to make their own decisions, find confidence in themselves, and never grow up or leave home emotionally. 



As the child grows into an adult, they are emotionally stuck at this development stage and need the approval of their parents and everyone with whom they have relationships throughout their life. 



The internal fears of abandonment turn them into codependent people pleasers who are on an endless quest to find someone, anyone, to permit them to be themselves. 



In this Episode:


Letting kids grow up and not expecting them to take care of your emotional needs!
What happens when parents sabotage their children's successes or independence because of their “unlived” lives?


Going from being needed all the time to essentially not being needed at all
Letting kids be and not trying to shame them into things you want them to do
How the “good parent”, especially in divorce, will always get the short end of the stick
Avoid feeling betrayed by our child's independence and lack of need for us.



This episode covers the why’s of what people do to combat this initial behavior and the irreparable damage it can cause to a child.

The terrible twos are also linked to a teenager's later years of struggling for that greater need for independence. How are they

connected, and what are the ramifications? What is the impact for both the child and the parent(s), and how does all of this impact all

involved? This episode reminds us that children can’t be there for your benefit or to fill the holes we have in our souls! It’s

not healthy for them, and it’s not healthy for us!

- Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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In this episode, Joe covers one of the biggest & most frequent questions he gets! How do I get my partner to change? How do we get my wife to change? How do I get my husband to change? How do I get my brother to listen? How do I get him to go to therapy? It's simple…Here is the answer…. YOU DON’T


This episode outlines the steps a person needs to take to stop trying to change your partner but to change what you are doing (or not doing) in the relationship for you to remedy the situation and take control of what you can change!


In this Episode:


Repeating the Same Patterns in Your Relationship…the Wash, Rinse, Repeat Syndrome


What Motivates Your Partner to Have to Change? What will get them to your worth and value?


The Benefits of Therapy…the proper steps have benefits you may not have even thought of for your future safety and well being


Building a Life for Yourself, and Expand your Circle of Friends and Connections


Eliminating Fear of Change and Making Changes Before it’s too Late


Taking Responsibility for the Way You Are Treated in a Relationship

This episode will help you realize where you are currently, what you need to do, and how you need to do it without expecting any help or change from the person you hoped you could change! You have to start looking at yourself and stop looking at somebody else because, more than likely, the person you hope will change and stay the way you want them to will never happen! Heal yourself. Stop trying to change your partner!

- Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

- Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://instagram.com/joeryan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

- Coaching: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/coaching/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

- Subscribe To All Episodes ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://joeryan.com/subscribe/⁠⁠



After a long hiatus, Joe is back with a new perspective, insight, and positivity that he is ready to share! Deciding to focus on genuinely caring for himself for a while, Joe is ready to share some of the more important things he learned in this recovery phase.



Stepping back from the pressures of constantly self-exposing his shame, embarrassment, and other innermost disappointments, Joe could genuinely focus and work through many things holding him back from obtaining happiness daily! These revelations, new insights, and small victories have brought him to a new place of peace and satisfaction, translating to a renewed ability to share all this with you with greater enthusiasm and focus!



In this Episode:


We connect the dots between phases, stages, and activities once the light bulb goes on!
Working through the hangover and getting used to the new normal
Reaching a point that you no longer have to prove your worth to the world
Eliminating shame…accept things for what they were
Learning to move out further in the direction you want
Building things back “Your Way.”
Getting back to a place where you can breathe with regularity!



This episode shows that you can overcome and work through almost anything to start living the life that you want. Even if you're not sure what it is, it's getting out the shit…the hurt…the victimhood, the learned helplessness and the self-hate. Build up your strength and confidence within yourself so you don't fear rejection, humiliation, and failure. Get to know who you are and the way of living that is right for you!



Remember….Recovery is Possible!