Blue Balls NYCFC Blue Balls NYCFC

Folks, NYCFC crashed into a soggy wall out in Queens this weekend to fall to a hobbled Colorado 0-2. Jake and Trey don't want to be talking about it, but talk about it they do — complete with all the segments you've come to expect. Freese praise, Bakrar banter, a Santi survey, Jovanvestigations. Your boys in blue are playing the hits! PLUS: a Maxi-valuation on the Spiderman's return, and an eye towards ascension for the insurgent Baby Blues who take the field TONIGHT against another Colorado team. THEN: we get no-nonsense on the northern border for a Toronto precap. Un-bunch your shorts when you're crossing the Peace Bridge: you've got Blue Balls.

With three wins and five unbeaten, NYCFC just might be back folks — and your Boys in Blue are here to tell you how, why, and when it all happened. Jake and Trey break down a messy but massive 2-1 redemption win over Charlotte that saw goals from a gorgeous Big Bird header and wunderkind Alonso, plus our usual Freese flowers, nods to the wings, and some love to Bakrar stretching ever closer to the end of his dry spell. Plus: an overdue review of the Blue Twos, some not-quite locker room talk, and a nasty little precap of a Colorado visit to cap off our home run. I wouldn’t hike in those shorts — you’ve got Blue Balls.

Wonder of wonders, is NYCFC good now? A 2-0 victory against DC United would seem to press the question as Nick Cushing extends his lossless streak and Santi Rodriguez and Julian Fernandez both expand their accounts. We talk both goals, of course, plus effective team play, a broken-hearted Bakrar, Martens mania and the defense that contained the uncontainable in Benteke, and much more. Plus: Trey Goes To The Mayor, a site visit to the Valley of Ashes, and a goodbye to a wunderkind NYCFC transfer sleuth and twitter personality. Then: a quick n' dirty Charlotte precap for a big round two against size queens The Crown. Make sure to do your kegels — you've got Blue Balls.

INCOMING! Something different on the pod this week? Jake & Trey wake up to find they have a WIN to celebrate and deconstruct, and some actual NYCFC momentum to analyze and ballyhoo. Your boys in blue talk Agustin Ojeda's nasty little account opener, a deepening defensive fight, Big Bird's bedrock balls, and much more. Plus: Open Cup prognostications, Concacaf Champions conversations, and stadium vote machinations. Then: a dirty discussion of the District before this weekend's Acela matchup against DC United. Time at last to put away those winter digs; you've got Blue Balls.

Draw 2, back in the habit, and Jake and Trey are here to make it sacreligious with a savvy and incisive recap of a 1-1 draw against a threatening Atlanta at home. We talk stretched midfields, Katy Perrys, whiffs of goals and wiffs at goals, and so much more. Plus: tales from the press box, mumbles around Mijatovic, and of course a prompt precap of fellow basement dwellers New England. Invest in some Gen Z baggy jeans — you’ve got Blue Balls.

Blue Ballers, this one's for you. New York City FC returns this week having stolen a point from the big pink menace in Miami, featuring a first MLS goal and first MLS start for Alonso Martinez and some more-or-less remarkable performances elsewhere. Jake & Trey break down how the team stacks up against noted psychopath Luis Suarez and whether the momentum is breaking in the right direction. THEN: Maxime's maxim: more MLS! AND: The baby blues beat the baby bulls to pull into round 3 of the US Open Cup! FINALLY: a quick n' dirty preview of our return to Yankee Stadium against Atlanta. Crack open a window into your trash alley and air 'em out — you've got Blue Balls.